Our very own Kenyan Pundit has not been idle and has been digging up some dirt on the morass at the City Council. Sooner her than me, as my patience is famous for its non existence.

The Local Government Minister, Musikari Kombo, was a guest on the KTN NewsLine, a talk show of sorts, and he failed to impress.

And in a related event, even as the ministry banned hawking at the CBD, an Assistant Minister in the Office Of The President (Internal Security), one Danson Mungatana, showed up at a hawker’s protest rally, and again boosted the profile of NARC as a collection of clowns bent on shooting themselves in the foot

“We are the world,
we are the children”

Either Sports Minister Ochillo Ayacko is the type who hits the ignition before opening the garage door or his office is located downwind from a glue manufacturing plant. Either way, his announcement that Kenya will bid to host the 2016 olympics has had me in stitches all morning. I heard him on BBC radio and he sounded dead serious

Not that it’s a bad thing, but there is something called keeping it real, and another called keeping it sane. I’m not sure exactly how many stadia we have in the country, but I know for a fact that , and only one with fully developed track and field facilities and ample sitting capacity is Kasarani. Only God knows where events like the bobsled, indoor cycling, etc are going to be held.

And as for events like rowing, I doubt that the International Olympic committee will think much of Uhuru Park’s murky pond as a suitable site, or Nairobi River’s unbelievably fetid water!

Also note that the decision of where the 2016 games will be held will be made in 2009, which is a mere 4 years away. Going by NARC’s record in getting things off the ground, if they were to continue at their pace we will have all the necessary stadia by exactly 8929 AD

But still, we have nothing if we don’t have our dreams….

Veteran athelete Kipchoge Keino burst into urpoarious laughter as President Mwai Kibaki asks a bewildered IOC Chairman Jacques Rogge:

“My goodness, Moody! My you’ve changed! I Thought you were bald? And you really need to work on your tan!”

I think i should create a page for this :: I will NOT, repeat, NOT take down the Original Thinker’s Room. It shall remain up forever (or at least until yahoo decide to cash in their chips)

In fact on that note i’ve just noticed the guestbook was full. Well, it ain’t now so go and sign it

I’ve also run across some Kenyan blogs you might like to visit Virtual Insanity, a bunch of dudes and dudettes I think in Cananda, Bankelele, a banker in Kenya Cock And Bull Stories a techie in Somalia, Poetycally and Pressure Makes Diamond, a student in Finland

Also check out Mawazo Na Mawaidha, Mshairi and Nicholas Gichu

Qute of the day:
Everyone tells me i’m paranoid

Just what is it about city and county councils that brings out the Neanderthal (apologies to the Neanderthals) in people? Almost all elections are characterized by fisticuffs, headbutting and biting. Every other month the staff strike and throw stones, potatoes and other missiles at the powers that be.2 weeks ago an outraged buxom lifted her skirt, treating an unwilling public to the sight of her gargantuan pink inner garments.

Hearing some of the mayors talking makes one wince in agony. When a mayor says something like

“The only vegetation we will allow to be grown is vegetables”

makes one unsure whether to laugh or cry.

We need to find ways and means to make those posts more attractive to the more able Kenyans. Perhaps a clear path of advancement, clearly defined duties, freedom from interference from politicians, control of their budget and revenues — the bottom line is unless we have people there whose IQ is more than negligible, the city will continue to wallow in filth, disorder and mismanagement.

Just when I begin to imagine that the bar of ineptitude and ignorance in our foreign affairs ministry cannot get any lower, our foreign affairs minister and his merry men and women always find a way to slither under. I watched on TV yesterday a series of amazing events that took place behind the scenes in the epic signing of the Sudanese Peace Agreement

The mediator of the peace talks, one Lt General Lazarus Sumbeiywo was unable to find a seat and had to look for one and carry it himself across the parking lot to the VIP section, very awkwardly, on his head

Prominent VIPs like Ghana’s former president Jerry Rawlings, former Kenyan president Daniel Moi failed to get seats. Why? Schmucks in the Kenyan Cabinet had lowered their foolish backsides into seats at the very front of the VIP section, next to leaders like Rwanda’s Paul Kagame and Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni, leading to this hilarious, pleading announcement:
“Please, can all those who are not heads of state please vacate the VIP section?”

Sudan’s president El Bashir had just gotten out of his car before he was surrounded by Kenyan officials who promptly hustled him forward. I cannot lip read but this is what I suspect happened:

Bashir: :(In Arabic? Sudanese?) What the heck?! Can you stop pulling me along?! Wait!
Official 1: (In English) What the hell is he saying? Aren’t they taught English in Presidential School?
Bashir: (Struggling) Wait!
Official 2: What’s with this clown? Doesn’t he know we’re behind schedule? And can he stop pulling us back?
Bashir: My wife you fools! You’ve forgotten my wife!
Sudanese Aide: (Running up) Wait! You forgot his wife!
Official 1: (&*(*^^&^&HKJHK

Uganda’s president Yoweri Museveni was left to his own devices at the periphery of the car park and after waiting for 5 minutes took initiative and started with his wife across the parking lot, and not two seconds later were almost run over by a lowly 504. I shudder to think of our relations with Uganda if a miserable 504 took out their president

Kenyan Foreign Affairs minister Chirau ‘Quicksilver’ Mwakwere forgot to recognize the presence of most of the dignitaries in his speech as he stammered and flustered sweatily along.

I can bet these guys will find a way to top this!

Apparentlly Nas has married Kelis.

The lucky bugger!

The latest crop of people who need to paint boats with their nothing but their tongues are ‘dignitaries‘. Personally I deeply resent the attitude of some people’s time being more important than others. I deeply resent waiting for half an hour for motorcades to pass by It’s ridiculous for hundreds of thousands of man hours being wasted waiting for bigshots to pass by in jet black Mercedeses (paid for my us!) Things were at least better in the Moi days

Cop In Moi Regime: The president is coming. Get the hell on! Move it move it move it! Drive like your backside is burning!
Cop in Kibaki Regime: The president is coming. Park your car there the curb and wait there

KRRKMMTZZ!!!

Here are concrete alternatives
- Arrive early (like before 7AM)
- Arrive late the day before (like 9 PM, in time for dinner and a sauna. The more adventurous can even sample the wares of certain itinerant traders on certain well known streets)
- Use a chopper to go from JKIA to wherever
- Use a BUS to ferry everyone at a go in one convoy
- Build a conference center and 5 star hotel behind JKIA
- Sign Sudanese deals in Sudan, Somali deals in Somalia … there may be a pattern here ….