Investment Opportunities

The Government Of Kenya is availing tax waivers, tax relief, free cash, free diamonds, helicopter rides and other benefits to investors who would like to invest in the country. Some of our local investors, including Cabinet, Wardrobe and Drawer ministers have forwarded porposals of various business ideas to the Ministry of Finance. The submissions from the Ministers should be fairly apparent These include

  • Diamond ExportsThis one has already been done! Been there, done that, read the book, watched the movie
  • Buttonhole factory in Lamu
  • Powdered water plant in Wajir
  • Pot Belly Enhancement Cream factory in Town Center, Nairobi (Immediate market is parliament)
  • Polka Dot Paint factory in Machakos (No need to paint the dots later — do it at once)
  • Striped Paint factory in Makueni (Imagine doing the painting in one pass)
  • Comb 2000+: combs for the discerning bald man (Niche is customers like Moody Awori)
  • Foot Scraper (To remove feet from mouths. Prospective customers are Foreign Affairs and Jusice Ministers). Optimal location: Parliament Road
  • Shaggy’s hit It Wasn’t Me on vinyl, CD, iPod and DVD for sale to Cabinet Ministers
  • English for Dummies, English For Absolute Dummies, English for Fatheads and English for MPs, a boxed set for sale to Members Of Parliement

If you know the Finance Minister personally, you may address him as Beste, NeckLess or Davo. Everyone else should use his full title (and enclsose a stamped, self addressed envelope for rejection)

Aida, YOU ROCK!! And then some! :)

Kenya is exporting Electricity to Uganda. This is as about as ridiculous as Kenya giving Foreign Aid to USA

Henry Mancini – Baby Elephant Walk