10

E-mess

Posted February 17th, 2005 in Vents by M

All right, all right, all right. I’ve had about enough of having my inbox cluttered with nonsense messages like these:

Little Hugh Jass is suffering from cancer of the rectum. He also has hay fever, malarial fever, swine fever and jungle fever. He has foot and mouth, mouth and foot, head, shoulder knees and toes. In addition he also has colic, arthritis and parkinson’s disease. And to make a bad situation worse, his bottom is fused together and he desperately needs an operation to unblock his plumbing and fix all his issues.

Microsoft, General Motors, Ford and Oracle are companies with a lot of time on their hands. Instead of donating 10 million dollars directly to Little Hugh Jass and his family, they are going to waste considerable amounts of their (and your) time and resources tracking a single email as it is forwarded to 10 million people. How exactly they are going to track this email is something that will be discovered later.

Please affix your name to the bottom of this petition and forward it to 10 other schmucks so that 10 dollars will be donated to this noble cause for each jackass that actually receives this mail, adds his hoof prints at the bottom and forwards it to another set of chumps

(1) Bull Schyte
(2) Ign’ant Chap
.
.
.
(1,345,322) Half Wit
(1,345,323) Nit Wit
(1,345,324) E. Dyott

Please, if you want to keep the friends you have, resist the urge to clutter our already limited bandwidth with this nonsense!

PIC OF THE DAY

New Internal Security Minister John Michuki is blissfully unaware that new Transport Minister Chris Murungaru is visualizing him being eaten alive by carnivorous smurfs

Run DMC – It’s Like That
  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    M,

    You are ridiculously funny. Ati carnivorous smurfs!!!

    LOL!!

    When I come back to Nai I’m buying you an icy one litre coke!!!

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    LOL I hadn’t actually read thro the ‘forward’ cos I’ve gotten millions like it but then I read it and almost cracked a rib!!

    I know you didn’t ask for it but can I be your groupie??!!

  • Anonymous

    FROM: Mr. Ben Ahore
    Central Bank of Nigeria
    Lagos, Nigeria

    TO: Dupe
    Address

    Dear Sir:

    I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$40,000,000. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region.

    You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accomodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount.

    However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria.

    If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria.

    Please call me at your earliest convenience. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it.

    Yours truly, etc.

    Ben Ahore

    heheheheheh

  • Anonymous

    you are positively insane….the expression on murungaru’s face is priceless!!!!!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/7035488 karoki

    The jamaa looks like he is about to cry. While the guy who took his job is psyched up vibaya. That expression is for the record books

  • Kagee!

    You remain, a ridiculously funny guy who is able to extract lols of laughter even from the most reserved and hidden ones in society

    Cheers Pal…& keep up the spirits

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6108499 bee

    I’m gald to have some across your blog. Mental power with a smattering of humour.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @Miss K that one we can discuss kando so that I can go through your – eh – portfolio

    @Everyone else — if you think that pic is funny you should have seen footage of His Sweatiness in that conference. There has got to be a stronger word than sulking

  • http://positivehealthproducts.com/arthritis.html John

    To me, all these messege seem sane not insane :D

  • http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com Mwangi – the Displaced African

    Testify, brother, testify. Those email forwards enyewe are such a waste of time. Imagine what people could do with all the time and intellect it takes to write these meaningless chain emails.

    You can’t look at a man like Michuki like that. He might consume your face as a light snack simply for sneering at a forty five degree angle to Michuki’s dog

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