Ralphie Wanjala, the MP who represents the people of Budalangi said the other day that
This was a pathetic attempt to defend a 1.5 million shilling payout at the end of their term.
I disagree. Most of our MPs would have excellent careers as clowns or jesters. Why?
Yesterday, a very morose looking Wanjala painted a pitiful picture to the press. His face was every bit the epitomization of a deeply grieved and wounded man. I wasn’t there but this is the gist of what I got
Ralphie: Powerful enemies are after my blood, my head and my behind!
Press: Oh? Why is that?
Ralphie: The diligent work that I do for the Ouko Commission
Press: And what makes you say that?
Ralphie: I have received death threats on my phone through Short… er… Simple …. er … SMS!
Press: Oh? Can you tell us the number?
Ralphie: I can’t tell you that! I’ve recorded the statement with the police.
Press: Hmm. Can we see the SMS?
Ralphie: Certainly (Whips out a Nokia 1100 and in no time presents the SMS)
Take care. We will finish
you and your family and
the beautiful girlfriends
Press: Criky! Is that the phone number we see up there?
Ralphie: Yes yes, so you can see that people are out to get me and finish me.
Late Coming Reporter: Could you give us the number it came from?
Ralphie:(Angrily) I already said NO!!!!
Stone faced Reporter: And so, how have your wife and girlfriends taken it?
I cannot even begin to imagine the heights of grief and gratitude that our Government will rise to in honouring Bildad Kaggia, now that he is dead! Mark my words, at least one of the cabinet members will don sack cloth and ashes and shed disconsolate tears, offering to bury him in Freedom Corner (If Roocy allows it that is). When it comes to venerating the dead, few can touch the KIbaki regime
PIC OF THE DAY
“Yes, I understand you perfectly. The subscriber cannot be reached …. Ehe, hata Kiswahili naelewa. Hapatikani kwa sasa…”
Floetry – Say Yes