Well, I seem to have acquired a pigeonhole of a political satirist. This is certainly not something I set out to do, nor want, seeing as this is where I ramble on anything and everything, but as it happens the current political situation is replete with topics of discussion. My derision for these bastards …. eh gentlemen and ladies of character and integrity is becoming infamous, and on more than one occasion the services of a psychiatrist have been hinted.
But first thing’s first…..
There’s this Cabinet Minister of a certain country. Let’s call him …. Kristopher. Kristopher (purportedly) runs the Ministry of Movement, involved in cars, trucks, buses, railways etc. If you have never seen good old Kristopher, take a walk to the Ngong Racecoure, or any other stables, and look at any of the animals you will find there from behind. What you see will be a fairly accurate representation of his good side.
Kristopher is but a babe in the woods in his new post. His previous docket did not earn him any marks. If he was left alone in a room of citizens, his chances of making it out of there without teethmarks are very remote indeed. His grinning face seems to invite blows. His arrogant voice stirs even the most peaceful to thoughts of just how far up his nether regions an electricity pole will go.
Conscious of his unpopularity, Kristopher has embarked on measures that he fondly believes will make him a darling of the people. His course of action is a lot like that of his predecessor – stamping his authority in the Ministry. To this regard he has diverted his attentions and sweats with the effort of enforcing some traffic laws. Kristopher seems unaware that the laws in question seem to have been written when the vehicles on the roads were two horse power (literally), and exhaust from said vehicles did not poison the lungs, but the shoes. It is this we find ludicrous speed limits like 49.99 km/h.
To add insult to injury, now it is illegal to stop on the road for any vehicle to stop on the road to discharge customers, or to allow them to board. The problem is, it is also illegal to get off the road, in order to avoid blocking the traffic, to do the same thing. Shuttle services that did this were promptly impounded. So where there are no bus stops, you are buggered. For an environ like SouthWest B, that has a grand total of TWO bus stops, the entire residential populace is completely and utterly buggered, because said bus stops are just where SouthWest B begins. If you were to walk from some areas of SouthWest B to these bus stops, you might as well walk to town.
Kristopher fondly believes that he is asserting his authority and blazing a trail toward being an efficient minister. He is blissfully aware that all he is doing is reinforcing the growing perception that he is an enormous horse’s arse!
PIC OF THE DAY
Kristopher, photo taken of his good side
Coldplay – Trouble
Aki that Krisidiot is a real Horse’s Arse. Si we just lynch him. I’m sure his sweat would help the fire burn faster!
I will happily pay for kristopher to legally change his name to krisidiot (name courtesy of ms k). Maybe the fool plans to buy “surveillance” equipment to keep motorists in check!
M, I have one gripe… don’t insult the (real) horse!
I dont riko this muntu M. He says I am a holses alse. I wiro show him nhoofs mboss. Ret hom dlive on my loads – which aro arrocted, without paying rand tlansfer tax, to me at the Nyama Choma eating party in Nyeli. I cant lemember hoos Mbuzi it was.
Translation:
I dont like this man M. He says I am a horse’s arse. I will show him whose the boss. Let him drive on my roads – which were allocated without paying land transfer tax (paid only by pesky others lesser mortals -Ed) at the BBQ party in Nyeri. I cant remember whose Goat it was (It was mine & I did not offer it to them! -Ed).
@ms K, Ed & anon – In addition to horses, idiots have been calling to protest at the insults to them.
Totally hilarious! cracks me up. I jst hope kristopher has a jalopy for a car since even those are able to do more than 49.99k’s an hour!!! Outright nonsense if anyone cares to ask me.
Am sure Mr Kris’s next brilliant law will be to make it illegal to drive on the roads.
P.s : M happy now??
Very well put. I can’t even put down the expletive I would use to describe what Kristopher has for a brain. I suspect he experimented with some of the drugs he sold before rigging his way to the Ministry of Movement (too funny btw).
I so wish he was an Illinois politician, I would call the Feds to report all manner of tips to get him indicted.
I highly suspect he’s the one with the GDP changing funds abroad.
Anyway, TR keep it coming. Your blog cracks me up.
Libra_law