Each and every last man on this planet can be absolutely and totally classified into one of two camps
(a) Those who prefer Beyonce

(b) Those who prefer Kelly

Of course there are some who prefer Usher, but that is nether here nor there.

Last night a heated debate amongst us (and people in neighbouring tables) led me to realize that there is yet another way to split all the men, and even the women in this world into two camps, with respect to their significant others having something extra along the side.

(a) The Mario Clique

Like Mario, Alex is a firm member of this group. Over his Gin and Tonic he lucidly explained that if the gardener sowed elsewhere other than his garden and got to his flower he would not want to know about it. Whether it was a slip or not, the effects of too much sun and too much frothy stuff or it deliberate, he did not want to hear confessions, teary or otherwise, about it. In this case he could happily dispense with honesty. His rationale was that receipt of that information was unlikely to change the price of tomatoes and would completely ruin things altogether.

Some heads nodded sagely around the table.

“I mean, what good will it do?” He wanted to know. “All that will happen is that I will be annoyed for weeks on end and I will never be able to trust her for as long a we’re together so in short the whole affair will come to a speedy end. Some skeletons are best left in the closet. If she cheated then she should shut her mouth about it.”

With finality he polished off his gin and tonic, set glass down on the table and looked languidly around the table.

(b) The Eamon Crew

Bill’s explosion of outrage at Alex’s sentiments brought a concerned manager rushing forward. I’ve never actually seen someone frothing at the mouth but after one look at Bill’s face, twisted with emotion allowed me to cross another item out of my extensive list of things to see. Bill left little doubt that he was in complete and total agreement with Eamon

“Have you,” he begun after an incoherent burst, “… lost your doggone MIND?”

Christine was in total agreement, and so moved was she that she knocked over her Vodka with a passionate elbow. “You guys are freaking kidding! The instant he plays me out the door the dog goes. Out! Out! Out! Nothing to discuss, nothing to argue.”

Derrick attempted to know if sorrow would change their minds but he was left in no doubt that the only thing that would change their minds was a brain transplant.

“How on earth are you still with someone that has told you she’s gone elsewhere? Let her go! If she’s so happy there kick her out the door!”

From past experience it is always at the height of these debates that someone suddenly notices my presence (that i’ve been trying to hide) and actively seeks my opinion. No amount of surreptitious manoeuvring in anticipation of this has ever saved me.

“M! Stop hiding behind that menu! What do you think?!”

As I opened my mouth to answer it occurred to me I hadn’t thought about it too deeply at all. There are some things that you’d rather not think about and for me this is one of them. I suspect I’ll walk out and never look back but one never knows unti one is actually dancing with the wolves. Just how does one handle infidelity?

ASS OF THE DAY
“There is an ulterior motive in the Lucy Kibaki case. The journalist presented the case on Friday and on Monday they were in court! There must be a hidden agenda.”
Attorney General Amos Wako

THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Doctors and nurses DO NOT have the luxury of going on strike!

The Beatles – Norwegian Wood