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23

I’m Back

Posted July 27th, 2005 in Travel by M

Finally, M has returned to Nairobi.

I must confess that when I actually set foot on these hallowed soils for a second there I thought I had boarded the wrong transport and was alighting at the North Pole. After the sunny warmth of Kampala I discovered that it was possible for your goosebumps to get their own goosebumps.

The transition of having my laundry, sheets and other odds and ends done by Shirley to rolling up my own sleeves to do them myself takes some getting used to. Living off your boss’s pocket does little to encourage restraint OR initiative :)

A month out of the scene is lots of time for things to have changed. Off the top of my head

  • Metro Shuttle is definitely history
  • KCB have completed painting one side of their HQ
  • Yaya Center have completed renovating their entrance and have done such a good job it was 5 minutes before I found the dang door
  • There are about 1 million City Hoppas on the road
  • Bank balance. I have not spent any of my last salary ;)

Some things, inevitably, do not change. Politicians for instance are nothing remotely like fine wine and do not grow finer with age. They are in fact a lot more like dingy brews that fester and rot with age. They are that much more asinine and halfwitted than they were when I left them.

I have some 450 office emails awaiting me, including pressing and urgent correspondence from the widows of

  • Sani Abacha
  • Daniel Moi (Despite the fact that she’s passed away. Afterlife?)
  • Joseph Estrada
  • Frederick Chiluba
  • Jerry Rawlings
  • Jacob Zuma
  • Mobuto Seseseko

These good ladies are in desperate need of my help in accessing certain monies that their husbands spirited away and have reached out to me for some help, offering me a handsome cut of the same. I am flattered and humbled.

Spent the weekend at the theatre cashing in movie offers. (For something my memory is almost elephantine). I’m watching movies everyone and their uncle has already watched, but its all good. Granted I’m watching these movies so late they are practically in the same age group as TCM Movies but hey — in Kampala there are tons of other things to do than go for a movie! So I watched the 3 of them in a concentrated burst.

Fantastic 4
I’m still making up my mind whether I liked it or no. But I liked the exchanges between The Thing and the Human Torch. I especially liked this:

It can only boost revenue by orders of magnitude.

Mr And Mrs Smith

The final shoot-out was impossibly fake but I liked it. Again the exchanges between the two carried the movie. And it is clear why Jennifer Anniston think they do a lot more than pat each other down.

Batman Begins
Being a die-hard fan of the genre, I ate it up like MPs eat up free samosas. Tres cool! And I have GOTS to get me one of these:

GROAN OF THE DAY
Q: How does green grass greet brown grass?
A: Hey!

AOB
All those people who owe me lunch/ice cream/money etc be on notice!

Mashifta – Pesa Pombe Siasa Na Wanawake
  • http://crystalnotsoclear.blogspot.com kipepeo

    good to know ur home sweet home. Wow, cant wait to see yaya centre when i get back home! its the littlest things that u notice! what happenend to shuttles?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10320987 Vaomiera

    I came from madagascar. I’ve been in France since ’95. When I came back there in ’98, I felt lost. People no longer speak french. Dusty in the air. No McDonalds, no Virgin Megastore…
    All these stuff vanished and then I felt that I would never feel at home in my own country… Shame on me but it is true.

  • http://prousette.blogspot.com Prousette

    Karibu sana
    Good to have you breathing the same air we are. Might I say missed you? Where is the chicken off the Kampala road side?

    This Shirley chick needs to be beaten to pulp for occupying such a large space in your line of vision……

    These widows/sons/daughters of deposed leaders sure have an uncanny ability to spin yarn.
    I still wonder how they are able to convince people to part with cash.

  • http://bankelele.blogspot.com bankelele

    Hey

    very astute observations.

  • http://spideyfun.blogspot.com nick

    welcome back and oh yes shuttles are missed completely…atu u didnt spend a dime off your last salo…si u hook up a brada wit a kaloan-o like that.ha

    Now where were we…oh boy lets talk movies!!!
    1.fantastic four:actionwise it was a bit disappointing and more so was that dr doom was the villain-would have preffered him in spiderman(apparently there are 4 villains in the next one).they took too long building up the story line-but gaddamn the humor was worth it. it was more of a comedy than an action flick.Hopefully the sequel which is already in the makin wil be better

    torch and thing carried the movie
    ati- hey there pebbles!?
    did u see how thing kunjanishad torch’s car?!?!

    Mr Mrs Smith-PURE SIZZLING RAW LETHAL CHEMISTRY. their one liners were to die for.
    from “its all john baby” to “who’s your daddy now?!”
    from “still alive baby?!” to … hey wait i have to watch that movie again

    Batman: yummy cubed…however as usual couldnt they leave the joker alone and they get themselves another villain-why mess with the character Jack Nicholson defined?!!!!

  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    I need to go kalia that Mr and Mrs Smith. the thought of Angeline Jolie’s lips is just too much

  • Anonymous

    Angelina is HOT… can’t wait for Lara 3… just to see her…

    OK… krisidiot is at it again & we need M to the rescue (superhero that he is!)…

    So krisidiot -the transport minister – wants the government to interfere in Mt. Kenya Coca Cola wrangles. Oh please! There are more pressing needs like sorting out the Metro & KBS problems coz that is worth more economically than shareholders spats!

    Anyway, what does Coke have to do with his ministry??? Or does he have a stake?

    The IDIOT…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/7568687 Wakanyi

    Werukamu! :-)
    Can mine please be added to the list of emails that need responding to ASAP?!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/8589221 Dan

    Wewlcome back.

    I must admit, I feel a little out of place being a gringo in Oklahoma City and daring to comment as if I knew you or something. Heck, I haven’t even seen the movies.

    Still, I always find you a good read as I cruise the blogoshphere to see what’s hapnin around the planet.

    —Dan

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/8589221 Dan

    PS.
    No, I am NOT illiterate. Sometimes I type too fast though and hit “publish this comment” instead of “edit comment” after my 1st preview.

    ‘Nuff said!

    —Dan

  • http://milonare.blogspot.com Milonare

    Hehehehe… I ate it up like MPs eat up free samosas …nice one!

    I loved doing jobos at gover offices when I was in Nai… Tea break was humongous ndaos, 2 sausages and a samo… Free…

    Hehehehe

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    All those people who owe me lunch/ice cream/money etc be on notice!

    Yeah consider yourself on notice dude!

    And don’t even act like you forgot my chicken! War my man, W.A.R!!

    @Dan
    Its ok. (Ti hi hi hi)

  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com/ Shiro

    Welkam back. I loved the Batman begins.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @Kipepeo – The predator known as receivers!

    @vaomiera – That’s change for you!

    @Proisette – Er … I had to eat the chicken before I crossed the border. I tried to resist but I’m weak!

    @bakelele – I’d have made a great Private Eye!

    @Nick – 30% interest rate. Dr Doom was a very mediocre villain!

    @Udi – LOL! Are you watching the movie or the actresses?

    @Anonymous – She’s hot but is dangerously close to stick legs. Wachana na Chris — methinks his travel ban is because while there he probably groped someone high up, like say a member of the Royal Family

    @Wakanyi — just fill in the application for an application and forward to my secretary’s secretary

    @Dan – thanks. As for typing too fast — I know exactly what you mean!

    @Milonare – gover offices do jobbo??!!!

    @Ms K – Kaa chonjo. When it comes to food I don’t believe in moderation!

    @Shiroh – Thanks :)

  • Anonymous

    Hey Thinker!!
    Glad you are back, well not in Nairobi coz I do not live there but glad you are back blogging. I check out your blog everyday and I have learnt a heaven of a lot of stuff!! Please keep them coming as some of us are getting highly educated as a result of reading blogs!!

  • Msanii_XL

    @M ditto on the jessica alba
    I loved the doom Mask…movie was aiight though.

    did not think of much of the villian in batman but i like christian bale movies,good ass actor.

    Not watched the smiths yet.

  • http://milonare.blogspot.com Milonare

    Touché

    The guy I used to interview was thoroughly overworked with all the Taifa Leo reading, finding out the cabbages’ situation on phone with Mama Caro and trying to look comfortable seated broken-suit-fully-buttoned-and-all.

    Now there’s multitasking for you!!

  • http://ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

    add me on to the list of guys who have yet to watch the smiths and are mainly interested in it coz of angelina jolie’s lips…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/9263708 kari

    Ur so right about city hoppers..aki its like an invasion!!!if u need help spendin ur last salary,give me a call!!!actually,i will invite myself to save u the hustle:-)wat are pals for?:-)(DO NOT SAY A WORD!!!!:-)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @Msanii — when it comes to masks, Doom’s is small potatoes compared to DARTH VADER! That right there is the shiznit!!

    @Milonare — to think chaps like that are in charge of MY wellbeing?? Sigh!

    @Adrian – LOL! I wager you are NOT alone!

    @Kari – we can discuss that aside ;)

  • http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

    Can tell you’ll definately miss afew things..like the fida(chicken as a snack) and whats her name shirley shelly’s .. washing.

    Can I have a cut of your salo just incase you cant spend it all lol I’ll pass on my bank details aiight?

  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    Glad to have you blogging again M, only learnt you were back in Nai a day before I left, soooo, I am adding myself on the list of people YOU owe meals (yes, that is a meal – read greasy meat!!!).

    I do feel you though on doing your own housework – I think the ministry of health would turn up their noses on my flat at present: Somebody help!!

    Will definitely make a point of seeing you on my next visit, hopefully not too far away.
    Nice to have you back..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/8280966 Ironique

    Here’s another vote for Batman Begins! Hats off to Director Chris Nolan for breathing life back into the what has been a steadily degenerating batman series (not that any of them was ever good!) Of all the movies made from comic book characters, this ranks right up there with the Hulk (which is arguably the best IMHO) though the spidey series was also good.