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19

Life Sans Luggage

Posted August 30th, 2005 in Travel by M

Watching the baggage carousel at the airport is something I will henceforth be doing with considerable apprehension. After the one at the Sir Seretse Khama airport ceased to revolve without any evidence of my trusty blue case, alarm bells went off in my head.

"Can I," an optimistic voice in my head wanted to know, “Survive without my case?”

The answer from other quarters was unanimously in the negative.

Hair: I like that! And who is going to take care of me?
Feet: Dude! If you think I am going to accept these socks for a second day you have another thing coming!
Torso: This new vest chafes!
Teeth: Survive without your case? Just who is going to brush us?
Chin: Thank God! Can’t think why you insist on bringing sharp blades near me each morning!

"Try the 3 flight," A bored looking staff member said stifling a yawn.

So I tried the 3 flight And the 6. And the 9.

It was well that the Air Botswana staff members rapidly left their offices because the heights of eloquence I rose to left little doubt that I would make an excellent commissioner of oaths.

As I rode back to the airport it struck me completely that all my worldly possessions were either on me literally (what I was wearing) or in my attaché case.

Not having my luggage certainly showed me that I am a creature of habit. I was down to my boxers and reaching for my luggage before I realized that there was no luggage to reach for, ergo no pajamas.

I had stepped into the bathroom and opened the tap to brush my teeth before realizing that not only did I not have a toothbrush, but even if I had one I had no toothpaste to put on it.

As uncomfortable nights go that of the 22nd of august is going to be hard to top.

Hitting the shower with the puny hotel soap was the work of a few minutes and shortly afterwards I was attired exactly as I was the previous day. It was then that I realized an urgent complication.

I had no comb.

This is no big deal to most people but it is a big deal for me because my hair is extremely long. The last time I cut my hair Moi was still president. The last time I cut my hair I used to say the loyalty pledge on Mondays immediately after singing the National Anthem. The last time I cut my hair the new millennium was yet to dawn.

In short, my hair looks vaguely wild at best but after a long shower there is little doubt that it has not been combed. In fact it looks exactly like the hair of someone who has recently been in contact with a live wire.

This will not do for someone who should be at the Ministry of Communication, Science and Technology within the half hour.

King Arthur’s knights did not look for the Holy Grail with half the effort I looked for a comb. I looked high and I looked low. The hotel shop stocks statues, hand bags, soap, bath salts, monopoly and scrabble boards, key rings, gold and diamond jewelry, mats and carpets – in short everything but a comb. The man behind the counter looked perturbed at my request.

The supermarket outside the hotel read from the same script. I could get anything including farming implements but no comb. After twenty minutes search decisions had to be made – attend the meeting and look like a victim of a lightning strike or miss the meeting.

I attended the meeting.

En route to the meeting I stopped by 4 assorted shops and supermarkets. The closest I came was one where the combs were no longer in stock.

“Then how the bugger,” I asked the man behind the counter “Do the people of Botswana comb their hair if they can’t get combs?”

People who want to know what audacity is will want to take notes from me. I swaggered into the Ministry building with the air of a man who is convinced that everything is right with the world and every hair was in place.

If you think nothing can be further than the North Pole from the South Pole you have not compared the Botswana Government and the Kenya Government. If both were horses in a derby then Kenya would be so far behind it would come third in the next race.

But that is for another day. Back to the issue at hand.

The thoughts in the minds of the staff I met could only be one of the following

-    This must be some new fangled hairdo.
-    This man must be out of his doggone mind
-    It is just me or has this dude NOT combed his hair?

I prefer to think they thought the first. :)

If Air Botswana were the only carrier offering flights to heaven I must confess I would have to think about booking a seat. “Check the next flight” seems to be a phrase they use very often, and at the end of the second day I was still luggage less. However I had secured some essential commodities to take me into Wednesday.

AOB

I won’t name names but people who prefer inertia of rest, like Miss K, can now email me direcly.

AO AOB

When you read stuff like this isn’t it in order to conclude that the media can be a tad racist?

Winans Phase II – Every Day Away
  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com Sidaki

    You blighter!
    You are trying to convince me that not a single comb was evident anywhere near your hotel’s location. Dude, what about a barber. Snip, snip and problem solved.
    Although you would surprise some guys back here.

    No blade has been near these locks for many a year and I am not about to start now! When it comes to hair Samson takes notes from me!

  • http://milonare.blogspot.com milonare

    Pole bruh!!!

    LMAO at Kenya coming in 3rd in the next race… Hahahaha…

    *why am I getting sad as I laugh*

    Jamaa, unbridgable gap will forever have special meaning for me

  • http://afromusing.com/blog afromusing

    pole M.

    Will you have time to go to okavango?

    Your new site looks wonderful…Its soo you.

    I hope so too! So much to see, so little time! BTW you’ll need to explain using well annotated diagrams this thing with Foster’s home!

  • lk

    Pole sana, I’m sure it was a conspiracy not to even lend you a comb.
    Teaches you to pack overnight essentials in your carry-on :)
    Like the new digz btw.

    Henceforth I will be carrying all my luggage in my carry on! Airlines cannot be trusted as far as they can be thrown

  • http://prousette.blogspot.com prousette

    Full head of hair, brings problems where surely none is needed.
    Seems ’tis easier for a camel to pass through the eyes of a needle than M to board Air Botswana’s only flight to heaven; he’d rather stay on earth.
    You sure you really want to carry 20kg of hand luggage?

    After I comb my hair I have my first day’s victory even before I set off for work! As for the 20kg of luggage i’d rather have the discomfort but still have my stuff than be confortable and toothbrushless!!!

  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    Mazeh, this is your best kind of post, jus telling what happened. I’ve never seen you with uncombed hair, and I’m thankful ;) Luckily in IT you’re allowed to be wild! Lee should have seen you… enjoy bana.

    Ha ha! Yes, it’s a good thing people already think i’m not 100% sane .. this gives me some leeway!

  • http://crystalnotsoclear.blogspot.com kipepeo

    i like how u stick to them thinking it was a new fangled hairdo…no matter how ridiculous you look, as long as ur confident, people tend to think ur hip. bet you pulled it off nicely! As for the article on katrina…darn…that was a tad bit more than just a tad bit racist! geez!! im still really wowd by your site. again.great job.

    Hey! Are you trying to make me blush? emoticon

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    It’s called profiling. White rich folk find shit. Poor colored folk loot. Simple. It’s survived the test of time.

    With this new artistic side this site is displaying, you should have tendered to the Central bank to help print our new currency.

    And we keep talking about globalization! What a tangled mess we weave!!

  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    Yaani that is racist as hell. But then I went to CNN and they start comparing to the life that people are going through now in New Orleans to life in the third world. Yaani the way these people look at the third world

    Unbelievable! Just found the link on the CNN homepage!

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    So am I getting one?????

    And I think you should probably change your site name to Thinkers Club House.

    And can I come??

    Anytime my dear, anytime!

  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    Did you sing the National Anthem or did you whistle it? I suppose it was a Botswana conspiracy to see how you would look with your newly ‘electrocuted’ look ;)
    I am with Kipepeo on the ‘bluff it’ routine when there is absolutely nothing you can do – people are too shocked/ashamed/confused/afraid to question you.. How about forks (two or three held together) – I am sure that substitution would have worked a tad bit! LOL

    As for Katrina – well, was watching the news last night, and guess what? When they were reporting about people being left homeless, they showed white people, when reporting about looting, they showed the black folks… *smh* It doesnt get better whichever side of the “first world” you are in!

    Money has been poured to finish me I tell you!

    As for Katarina am still speechless myself at the audacity of the reporters!

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    You guys are acting surprised! I believe the unconscious condescending attitude they have towards us is institutionalised. This white woman came to work yesterday to introduce us to a new technology. A Projector! If I could only project my thoughts.

    I’m going to vent on that very issue real soon…

  • http://ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

    whenever space allows it, i try and carry a pair of boxers, a clean t-shirt and my nécessaire in my hand luggage.

    Lesson from the school of hard knocks that I have definitely learnt

  • http://nakeel.blogspot.com Nakeel

    Pole M
    Did they had to make you go thro this really? I guess if we call it racism will be linient i guess we should call it a devilish act…

    And we think we grow better with age!

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    LOL Sidaki, ati a projector!! I do agree that some of those attitudes are institutionalized.

    Sometimes I don’t know whether to laugh or cry… But ngoja tu, will vent on that topic real soon!

  • Ni2

    M if you had cut your hair like I have been telling you to you wouldnt be looking for the all exclusive comb.

    And kwani in Botswana people dont use combs? Ama its coz they couldnt understand what you were saying?

    So did you find your luggage? What cut?

    I also wondered about the combs …. No one could give me an answer as to where they get combs! As for the luggage it finally turned up a week down the line! But that is a story for later

  • Ni2

    So if you make a mistake in the post…

    How do you edit??? (sheepish grin)

    Edit? What’s that?

  • Ni2

    Well I meant to say elusive not exclusive :-) Then when I did notice my mistake the search for “Edit comment”… My options were limited to Logout.

    Maybe its not called a Comb.

    Its like asking for “Jelly” or “Petroleum Jelly” and you want “Vaseline”. Believe me those attendants have no clue as to what you are talking about. Might have been the same problem you were having :-)

    You should have resorted to sign language… Then again…

    They speak English in Botswana — language was not a problem. And even if they didn’t my hair should have clued them in very quickly indeed!

  • http://blog.uhuru.de jke

    Akili ni nywele, kila mtu ana zake.

    I guess it must have been some sort of hairy experience for you.. :-)
    Pole.