23

Nitwit Incorporated

Posted August 8th, 2005 in Politics by M

Recent events in the diplomatic arena have led to some rumination: that of the drawers of what is the Kibaki cabinet few leave any doubt that in the intelligence department it is doubtful they would be smart enough to hit the water if they fell out of a boat.

Chris Murungaru, Njeru Ndwiga, Ali Mwakwere and indeed a good chunk of the August House need to get over themselves as soon as possible and realize that double digit IQs are immediately apparent to external observers, discerning or not — they have no need to be exhibited repeatedly. If anyone had doubts that MPs misguidedly think a good deal of themselves these doubts ought to be put to rest by recent utterances they make.

  • Chris Murungaru swears to defend his “human rights”. (Shopping at Tiffany’s comes immediately before food, shelter and clothing in the hierarchy).
  • Njeru Ndwiga thinks an economy that has a GDP of billions of dollars will throw tantrums at losing the odd coins that Kenyan tenders would provide, and that they would be so incensed that they would ban an insignificant (not literally you understand) cog in the global stage from setting it’s (the cog) sweaty foot on it’s (the economy) soils. This ban will inexplicably open the doors for floodgates of said tenders. So convinced is he that the British populace is pining and withering away in his absence that he strikes a mortal blow to them by depriving them of his company , daring the Home Office to revoke his visa.
  • Ali Mwakwere opens his mouth and leave little doubt that prerequisite qualifications to run the foreign affairs ministry are as welcoming and all encompassing as they can get — at minimum you must have a pulse and opposable thumbs. Anyone unfamiliar with the term ‘oxymoron’ needs to listen to this gentleman ask for diplomacy with language that turns the air immediately around him blue for miles. (Credentials to head the Foreign Affairs Ministry can be sourced at Uchumi, Nakumatt or indeed any nearby kiosk)
  • Assorted half witted MPs (sadly, the higher quartile in the IQ department of the August House) detect some colonial connotations in the actions. They try (and fail) to explain what is colonial about banning a man from visiting your premises.

Personally i am of the opinion that my house is my sanctuary and I can decide at whim who can and who cannot visit mi casa. What’s more, I do not owe any explanations to anyone. And it is ludicrous for you to sue me because i have refused you access to my house!

Gentlemen (and i use the term very loosely) you do not, repeat, DO NOT have a right to a visa, not to the UK, not to the US, not to Papua New Guinea, not to Surinamme. You do not even have the right to visit a shack in the Kibera slums.

Being a cabinet minister may impress your friends, relatives and livestock here but it holds little or no water beyond that, and still far less abroad, especially factoring in that practically a third of the entire August House are also ministers. Being a minister has become like owning a mobile phone — everyone has one. Beyond your immediate family, friends and admirers (both of them), no one cares whether you are the Minister of Security, the Minister of Transport or the Minister of Livestock with Two or More Feet, so don’t be shocked when your crowd of followers shrinks to the security officials at Tiffany’s who keep you from abstracting items you would rather not pay for.

Unless your job description changed, or there is a Minister’s Exchange Program in operation, your duties are confined to offering services to the people of Kenya. You’ll have to try a lot harder to convince us that surreptitious trips to Britain are part and parcel of your duties.

August Jinx
- Dr John Garang RIP
- King Fahd RIP
- Robin Cook RIP

Fela Kuti – Lady
  • Anonymous

    I am no fan of Murungaru, and when I read about the story I also thought – ‘so what, millions of Kenyans have been maltreated by the British embassy’ etc. However, I think that there are two important issues:
    - why did Britain not send a courtesy note to the Kenya gvt, as is diplomatic protocal (imagine if Kenya did that! why send malicious faxes to all airlines as if Murungaru is a dangerous criminal). That was just madharau, and it is also racism. Yes, other Africans suffer the same way, but it’s the principle of the thing.

    -an immigration officer does not hold the keys to his/her country, and Murungaru is doing good to sue them. I say sue the pants off them, sue them to their last shirts.

    The daily humiliation that Africans suffer at the hands of white embassies, etc, is bigger than what Murungaru had, but as a gvt minister, the British gvt was just being provocative (“because we can na-na-na-na-na”)

    Fact: non-whites arent exactly welcome in white countries, and you just have to read the news to find out that any excuse to find fault in non-white foreigners is made to justify their exclusion from immigration. They are happy to host a whole barrage of corrupt, terror-mongering, war criminals, international thiefs, etc., but just how dangerous is Murungaru?? BTW – Moi and Edward Clay are great buddies, so Clay isnt exactly the St. Peter of ant-corruption.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @ Anon

    - Murungaru was indeed sent a letter informing him of his change of fortunes
    - I have read the legalese of a bunch of these laws and in short they give any country the right to eject any non citizen WITHOUT having to give any reasons. You are not there as a right, you are there as a privilege.
    - Murungaru can sue them until he is blue in the face! Do you expect a British Court to overturn a decision made by the British Government in these days of unrest? Further more, it is not some junior official who made this decision — it must have been sanctioned by the home office
    - There is nothing racist about what was done. If all Kenyans were banned, or all Africans were banned then you’d have a point. I’m not convinced that banning Murungaru is even remotely racist seeing as everyone else and their uncle is free to go to the UK
    - Personally I think Murungaru was banned because Kibaki has not done anything to resolve the albatross that is the Anglo Leasing scandal. Years down the line no heads have rolled despite admissions of culpability (viz. David Mwiraria)

    And as for Murungaru’s “Dangerousness” reasonable aspersions have been cast against his character and conduct (Anglo Leasing, his companies securing lucrative local authority tenders, etc). We have every right to treat him like a pariah until action is taken.

  • Adi

    Can anyone honestly think that some retired ambassador can go back to his country and ask the home office to “do him a favour and keep some guy out of his country” and it is done without solid ground? Lets be realistic! We can not see “racism” each time something is done to an African. Was Mugabe’s ban racist?
    Especially because Murungaru is a minister, I would think that a lot more thought was put into it (because of diplomatic manenos) before the ban unlike if it was Atieno, Mwangi or Mutiso.
    There must be a good reason, and Murungaru is probably making noise because he thinks whatever he did was so “undercover” it can surely not be known. We must remember that because of terrorism, everyone and everything is under scrutiny; big bro probably even knows if you didn’t use the loo at some gas station properly.

  • http://prousette.blogspot.com Prousette

    Murumutu is setting a precedent that will be the butt of jokes years to come.
    Under-18 should be suing for being barred from entering Carni si that is infringing on the human rights?
    What part of his work does he need to do outside the country?
    I thought Daudi carries the begging bowl round and when it suits the donors they come in themselves.
    Unless he has a periscope sitting on the Big Ben that he needs to observe the transport situation in the country.

    *aside* livestock are not that impressionable

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    “Credentials to head the Foreign Affairs Ministry can be sourced at Uchumi, Nakumatt or indeed any nearby kiosk” LOL yani everytime Mwakwere opens his mouth I think of changing my profession and becoming an assasin. Kwanza that one I would fanya pro bono”

    Methinks kwanza I’ll start a petition for the venerable Chris to be banned from more countries cos I am inordinately enjoying this circus. Heh heh yeah let them sue!

    “Unless he has a periscope sitting on the Big Ben that he needs to observe the transport situation in the country.” LMAO Prousette!!!

  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    And step away from my cake!! I thought you’d gone down south.

  • vituvingisana

    @anon (1st comment)

    Every time a western government makes a decision that is considered not favorable it is accused of “racism” & “colonialism”…

    mugabe’s antics are not criticised by other AU countries coz they do it all the time!

    Where apart from Africa do they still have coups?

    Kenya had its coastal/kilifi clashes, Burnt Forest, etc. Don’t think kibaki will hesitate to do the same!

    I haven’t heard many African countries crying racism over Darfur or Southern Sudan but oh, sure blame the USA for not stopping the Darfur killings.

    Mugabe destroyed housing in areas perceived to be opposition areas. He is a thug… BTW, the best land taken from the White farmers went to his buddies! Fair distribution my ass…

    The opportunity to prevent the Rwanda massacres was squandered by Uganda, Tanzania, Congo (Zaire) or Burundi. Others who could have reacted quickly were Kenya, S.Africa, Zimbabwe & Zambia. They were unwilling to act BUT happily blamed the US for not showing interest. The US is almost 8,000 miles away!

    murungaru for all his protests has a shady unexplained past with Anglo-fleecing. Instead of clearly telling Kenyans all about AF, awori supported AF. Me has heard that awori got $1M to look away.

    I hope the govt isn’t stupid enough to ban British tourists. For all its indignation, Kenya needs the British tourists until alternate sources are found.

    BTW, the USA government revoked the visa of the elected Chief Minister of Gujrat coz of what they saw as his complicity/inaction in the massacres/riots 2-3 years ago in that state.

    For all the hullabaloo, no-one serious in the government wanted retaliatory action coz like Kenya, India depends heavily on British tourists & FDI.

    I would like murungaru to sue as long as it is in his private capacity NOT paid for by the Kenyan public/govt. Coz I would like to know what the British govt knows as well!

  • http://akiey.blogspot.com akiey

    NOt taking either side (UK’s or Murungaru’s) but I would like to know what logical reason the UK govt has for their action. I can’t helo wondering what the UK would if some other country denied say Blair entry to their country.

    Murungaru to start a crusade about this is selfish. He ought to consider many more Kenyans are denied entry so let him factor all those cases in his appeal as well.

  • http://nakeel.blogspot.com nakeel

    As one Orwa Ojode gave the statement in the August house let he carry his own cross just like the common man who goes for that visa interview and he is turned down this is what we undergo and i dont think whether Kenya has any Transport interests at the UK soo settle and let the sweaty man work to clean the transport industry.. the rest is singing a lullaby to a sleeping bird….
    We dont want to know what exactly he did because i smell it is serious..
    For Makwere your turn is just by the corner watch out….

  • Anonymous

    The sun shall still rise and set.

    Murungaru and friends are slowly making Dave Chapelle look like a new kid of comedy.

    I am dying to see which court in Kenya will hear Murungaru’s case against Britain for refusing him entry into their country.

    This only displays what is the reality about our leadership while we have grave issues to deal with back home what seems to be a matter of urgency is some nutcase’s revoked British visa like Thinker has so clearly said it their political status do jerk for them the minute they live Kenya and the facts of the matter are simple any country has the right to deny entry to any individual.

    That they are crying racism is the funny part what then do we call the death of the game ranger who the Kenyan govt refused to take to trial citing “lack of evidence” when he was murdered by Lord Delamere’s grandson?
    While the known facts of this case beg the question that someone is really getting away with murder simply because he is white and the Kenyan govt is very good at licking colonial remnants white arses.
    1. He Delamere’s grandson admitted to the murder hence his arrest.
    2. It was confirmed that the victim was a game ranger on official undercover duty.

    Yet the govt still failed to find any compelling evidence.
    Yet when some overfed good for nothing politician is refused entry into a country they act like suddenly the earth has stopped and we have witnessed the most atrocious of crimes.

    You Mr Muranguru will leave.
    Act like a man for once and get over it.
    You are nothing beyond your Kenyan territory that you should assume your visa being revoked a matter of national crisis.
    Deal with it many Kenyans every single day more deserving who would do more good for Kenya than you ever will in your pathetic life are met with such treatments and worse every single day.
    Never has this govt now crying foul offered to come to the aid of its people who suffer the wrath of immigration officials in the western govt embassies.
    The last time it was public news was when Sir Charles Njonjo felt insulted then you all gabbed about it and it was history.
    For the rest of the people we deal.
    So can you DEAL WITH IT TOO.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/8589221 Dan

    Wow. The comment section is actually longer than the post.

    Whoever wants to play the race card in the “Visa Affair” should come to any major city in the U.S. They will see that American society has morphed into a bowl of jelly beans.

    I too want to see how this “trial” turns out. Perhaps he should file his charges in The Hague, another place where double digit IQs are prerequisites for employment and there are many Ministers of Livestock (especially the two-legged kind.).

    Thank you.
    —Dan

  • http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

    I honestly dont know much about the our MPs in kenya I mean thier names/posts/IQs bla bla bla I would like someone to fill me in on what Mr Murungaru did to deserve such treatment though.
    I think him suing the brits will not do him any favours what he’d have done is appeal against the decision.

    For now shopping at harrods will have to wait but if anyone see the jamaa tell him to send me money and his shoes/suits/shirts and his wifes sizes and I’ll do him the favour tht will cost the tax payers less.

  • http://ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

    LOL @ Prousette’s *aside* livestock are not that impressionable

    i’m just wondering thinker: do you have bodyguards or any kind of security? i have the feeling that if some people with power read your posts, they would not be very amused…

    keep it up bwana!

  • Anonymous

    First, If I may pharaphrase Betrand Russell; politicians are not paid to think- and for that matter they don’t and they shouldn’t. Thus the issue of their IQs is irrelevant.

    Second, why do I sense a tone of joy here? Many seem to rejoice in what seems to be a punishment meted out to Murungaru (on our behalf, no doubt!) by the Brits for being corrupt. Wasn’t it argued in this blog that “making poverty history” in Africa was an issue best left to Africans? And why shouldn’t fighting African corruption be left to Africans?

    Third, Murungaru has shown that he “would be smart enough to hit the water if he fell out of a boat”- At least he is suing. Give it to the man: He might soon shop at Tiffany’s on his way to defend himself in the British courts.I hold that no man should be condemned unheard!

    Fourth, what is the GDP (GNP?) of Britain composed of? Doesn’t it come from ‘odd’ divinded payouts from Barclays bank in Kenya, an arms tender from Congo, an oil deal from Belarus etc? The “odd coins that Kenya tenders provide” finally add up.

    And finally for those who think that we benefit a lot from tourism, think again. Tell me who owns all those hotels and where the payments for the safari packages are made. Or better still, wait till a tourism environmental impact assessment is carried out.

    Enough said.

  • vituvingisana

    @Anon comment immediately prior:

    UK’s GNP is larger than sub-Saharan Africa – a cursory look at http://www.cia.gov factbook will tell you this. Yes, the African deals do provide parts of this GNP but Barclays makes money coz it is successful & well run. In Kenya, it faces competition from KCB, NBK, Citibank, etc which are NOT British-owned banks but Barclays has held its own. Banking is not a protected sector & they are doing something right. Why have they managed to breeze thru the tribulations while NBK & KCB were brought to their knees?

    Barclays Kenya was the most profitable African unit but S.Africa is the rage. Kenya has lost out in the African sweepstakes! Barclays is not a charity & neither should my taxes fund murungarus UK trips.

    Without FDI, Kenya will find it will lose to other countries. As far as ownership goes, Kenyans could have bought Lonrho’s hotels but we didn’t & instead others (Kingdom Hotels) did so!

    Only the well managed hotels survive thus the Serena group’s success. Serena has substantial local holdings/ownership.

    Don’t blame the British tourism outfits for dominating the tourism industry while KTDC is loaning money to “favoured” politicians who never repay their loans!

    http://www.eastandard.net/mags/fs/news.php?articleid=26565

    The Brits are not the problem… we are for accepting & defending these thieves just coz they are Kenyan!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @ Adi – Allegations that Clay is behind this just belie the fact that some people in leadership are challenged in the grey matter department.

    @ Prousette – LOL at the periscope!

    @ Ms k – If Mwakwere can run the ministry so can any passing alley cat

    @ VituVingi – Hear hear! That racist excuse has grown decidedly tired

    @ Aikey – It would be nice to know but the law is clear — they do not have to explain a damn thing! And neither do we by the way!

    @ Nakeel – Hear hear! He has no business there anyway! With public transport collapsing you’d think he’d be sweating — er — working towards a lasting solution!

    @ Anonymous – Well said!

    @ Dan – The race card has grown tired. The man should carry his own cross and resign for sullying the name of the country. The trial is a waste of time for everyone concerned

    @ Farmgal – Murungaru has been closely linked with very dodgy deals (Anglo Leasing, Navy Tenders, Insurance Tenders) and no action has been taken against him

    @ Adrian – Now that I hear powers that be made noises against Redykyulass and their parody of said powers that be I begin to wonder … but then again most of the powers that be can barely read and write

    @ Anonymous – One wonders why a president will fail to take action against ministers who clearly have a hand in very dodgy deals! I don’t see any problem in the British taking action if Kibaki is too lilly livered to.

    And my point on the GNP was it is extremely naive for the British to take such action over something as insignificant as a tender

    @ Vituvingi – That last statement speaks VOLUMES!

  • Anonymous

    (this is the same Anon from comment #1)

    I wonder if those of you who accuse my argument of “playing the race card” have actually lived in the UK and if you’ve actually experienced racism – specifically at the hands of the immigration system. Once you do, you will be singing another song. Racism is most alive in any immigration setting.

    As for those who responded to my comment talking about Mugabe and the AU, ala kwani did I mention Mugabe and Congo and the AU?

    See any UK news source and acquaint yourself with reports of the contempt that the UK public and political parties (both Conservative and Labour) have against non-white immigrants (many opinion polls have also shown this). Racism in the immigration system is there; FACT. The question is, would a white Canadian or Australian or American, in Murungaru’s exact same position (i.e. corruption allegations) have received the same treatment? No. Why? Because Canada, Aus, US are – to Britain – more “worthy” of respect and the diplomatic repucussions are “greater.”

    Do you also think that the Kenyan gvt’s rebuttal of British companies (giving contracts to the best-value bidder instead) has NO impact whatsoever? Come on, people, when will we realise just how much we as Africans are puppeteered? If we give them the keys to our country they pat us on the back and woo our politicians in Downing Street with the PM, if we snub them they snub us. It’s not rocket science.

    The Murungaru case is a case that highlights a deeper problem that people don’t talk about: the disrespect to Africans, the racism in immigration, and the arm-twisting of Africans (e.g. the US and Int.Criminal Court saga). The guy is in his rights to sue, let the courts decide; why should he keep quiet and be a good boy. As for Kenya’s response, I hope the Kenya gvt uses the Vienna convention and, for once, stops begging at the feet of the west, which – to paraphrase the buddy of Moi (corruption maestro extraordinnaire), Edward Clay – vomits at us daily.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/6048655 M

    @Anon

    No one is saying racism does not exist! What I’m saying is that some people, especially the current political elite are too quick to flash the race card in a black and white situation such as this one. Murungaru is involved in shady business and he should not try and hide behind the race card.

    On the tenders the point I was making is that the British will not have nightmares, weep and gnash their teeth if they lose Kenyan tenders

    As for his right to sue — I’ll be very surprised if he succeeds in challenging the law the ban comes under — no country is obliged to disclose its reasons for denying a non citizen access.

  • Anonymous

    If he wants to sue let him use his own money and not my hard earned taxes.
    Am sick and tired of listening to this good for nothings in govt complain every time the butts they kiss suddenly fart on their faces.

    When it is done to them we must see racism when it is done to a poor ranger that is a non issue Right?
    Well I see nothing wrong the Brits reserve the right to decide who who goes to their home turf and who won’t.
    That is the only glaring fact here .
    LOl,how many Kenyans endure worse treatment in the western embassies?
    How many Kenyans have had this immigration official hurl insults at them?
    How many Kenyans who are denied visas are given the luxury of a letter to explain the reason the visa was revoked?
    There since am part of the Korogocho crowd it is a party anytime anyone in Muthaiga trips over a nail in a way I say justice in queer, pathetic way has been served.
    Infact I wish he is banned from Europe and America altogether.
    Am thinking he will live through this and don’t see what the big deal is.
    Why racism?
    Why not the fact that the very act of a Kenyan gorvernment official seeking medical treatment that he would otherwise get at home abroad is in itself a sabotage to the Kenyan health system?

    How is he suppposed to know if our medical system is working if he is off to Britain to be treated?
    Is this the reason the Kenyan govt had national youth service take over from medical staff when they went on strike demanding what is their right sustainable wages?
    Are we suprised that the govt reacts like this?
    Offcourse they will as they are not in sync with what is going on the ground.

    And suddenly when one of them gets punched from the back we are supposed to cry racism I could careless.
    This self seeking ego centric sweaty butterball is getting everything he deserves and infact this is not enough.
    Not to mention the hefty insurance packages that he and colleagues have awarded themselves all based on the backs of impoverished, overworked and underpaid Kenyans.
    Who ironically are now expected to put on their rationale glasses and see where Murungaru is coming from.

    Lol.

  • Adi

    Of course racism exists! But when we cry “wolf” all the time, it becomes so tired that when something actually racist happens, it will not be taken seriously.
    A couple of years back, Kenyans did not need visas to most of the western countries, then some of us decided that it was better to leave a decent job in Kenya and go to a western country and do menial work. These people, (and I am not saying they are the majority) have spoilt it for the rest of us who might want to go to some western country and study or involve in some really gainful activity. Despite the treatment we get from their embassies, there are still long queues of visa applicants who might be humiliated but still make another attempt. One cannot demand respect unless one carries themselves with dignity. In any case, no one lets all and sundry into their homes; if all Kenyans want to come into my home, I get to choose whom I let in. Have I violated your human rights? So sue me! Who says your rights are above my right of choice and association?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10109705 iwtlk

    There is no racism in the British decision. I have been waiting all this time for Murungaru to show us the letter he recieved, with the listed reasons given by the British High Commisioner and his point by point refutation of the same. He hasnt done this…all we hear from him are this lamentations that they are against him, corruption, tenders… all speculations but no facts. The British said they told him why they would not allow him in so let him come out straight and show us the letter he recieved.

    I guess most people support him because of the High Commisioner sent letters to all airlines flying to Britain. Is that malicious? I dont think so. Lets look at it this way. Murungaru is a minister, and after a certain First Lady walked into a newsroom on press freedom day, kicked a guys ass and molested everyone for hours all of this infront of the Police Comissioner and shown on TV. Later an assault case is thrown out of court masked with a certain decision to throw out a second case of a white farmer who had shot a game ranger. No one complained no one noticed anything apart from the protest and racist charges against the white farmer.

    In light of such power, something Murungaru is reputed to have, what stops him from walking straight into an airplane headed for Britain without anyone checking if he has a valid visa or not? Imagine him being denied entry at Heathrow.

    I do not know the reason why the Brits did this, and I have a feeling that we will never know the real reasons, because Murungaru wont come clean.

  • vituvingisana

    @iwltk

    Made a great point – one which had not even remotely crossed my mind!

    If m’ngaru were to use KQ to go shopping at Uchumi – oops, Harrods – he would be turned back at Heathrow. The problem is that KQ – a publicly listed Kenyan company – would have to fly him back to Kenya & pay a fine approx GBP 2,000 to the Brits.

    Why waste GBP 2,000? Plus it is KQ’s cash not M’ngaru’s. KQ is NOT a govt carrier. That is borne out by how well it is doing! So, yes, the airlines should know of it.

    In addition, imagine m’ngaru assaulting (a la roocy kibaki)a British Immigration Offier & it is a bigger scandal that can hurt Kenya’s reputation.

    Many somalis managed to obtain fake Kenyan passports or travelled on genuine Kenyan passports but fradulently obtained. They went to the UK & never returned thus the Brits asked for visas.

    As you may have read that some of the transit bombers were of somali/ethiopian origin & entered the UK using Kenyan passports!

    So anyway, my point is that it was prudent for the Brits to let the airlines including KQ know that m’ngaru was persona no grata!

  • Anonymous

    Adi,

    Those long queues you see outside those embassies are simply an indication of the state of Kenya as it is currently.

    Kenya has become a country for the chosen few.
    For the rest of us who you claim have come here to spoil the education pursuits of some like yourself.
    I will say with a resounding NO.

    You have missed the point.
    Those menial jobs are currently the saving grace of many many Kenyan families and Kenya itself.

    When you are stripped of your all you have no choices but to deal.
    That is what has become the fate of being a Kenyan who is not of the Muthaiga breed this days.

    You think we don’t know that we belittle ourselves everytime we have to grovel at the presence of some western high school drop out whose mouth foams with all manners of insult?
    But that bastard in that embassy holds the key to that opportunity that you country has denied you.
    You take and run with it.

    From their on you find those menial jobs that will pay rent, buy food, buy medication give your family a sense of being somebodyness that the Kenya today has completely denied them.

    Therefore and I will repeat again when one in Muthaiga such as Murungaru takes a great fall it is a party.

    He needs to DEAL WITH IT.

    F.a.K.

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