Living in a hotel is something I look upon with fondness. There’s a lot to be said about having your clothes washed and ironed for you, not having to do the dishes, and having your bed made for you. I’m currently investigating if there are any hotels that offer value added services like brushing your teeth and combing your hair for you. The fact that I do not have to spend any of my own money is something I feel sure is a popular concept.
The only thing better than travelling is travelling at someone else’s expense, and the only thing better than that is travelling at company expense. Nothing aids the flourish with which you sign bills with the knowledge that someone else will be coughing up the cash. This way you don’t wince when the smug lady behind the counter informs you crisply that you will be paying close to 100 dollars a night for the room alone. Meals to be charged separately.
When it comes to travelling at company expense my mantra is “deny yourself nothing“. When confronted with the challenging choice between a three course and a four course dinner I heartily recommend the four course. If in the middle of the night you feel the urge for fruit salad smothered in ice cream, pick up that phone. Just think of that chef in the kitchen looking mournfully at his uneaten creations. Have you no heart? If when passing a restaurant you feel the urge for a steak be strong and be firm. Walk in and have the steak. After all, a cow gave up it’s life!
The Grand Palm hotel looked promising from the entrance and did not disappoint
Driving In
The Entrance
The lady behind the counter who checked me in looked and sounded like Barry White, right down to the mane of hair. I knew as soon as she opened her mouth that she was not going to be my friend from the establishment. It is always good to have one of these, who can hook you up with extra pillows, extension cables, and most importantly Internet Access, because the Grand Palm charges the equivalent of .25 $ or 20 bob a minute.
I burst out laughing at this news and cemented the fact that we were not going to be even on talking terms.
“Really? Are your keyboards diamond studded? Or does your Internet traffic travel first class by British Airways?”