E-Commerce is a vibrant and profitable enterprise, and after much procrastination I have decided to join the bandwagon.
For the last six months I have been building and testing my Alternative Secure Shop, hereafter known as my ASS. This is an exciting venture modelled after Amazon and E-Bay to allow comfortable shopping from your PC, and have your order delivered to you.
Despite my best efforts to keep my initiative secure, people have been checking out my ASS behind my back.
Someone has even tried to copy my idea and has prominently displayed his Alternative Real time Shopping Experience (ARSE) but I like to believe early observers have been unimpressed. It’s plain to see that an ARSE is really just an ASS. Besides, everyone knows that an ASS by any other name smells just as sweet er … is still an ASS.
The pilot programmes have been largely successful, and several ASSes are currently out there in operation, as capable people do the testing for me. Unless you live under a rock you must have seen an ASS at least once within the past week.
Some people, notably Bill and Sheryl, have complained that their ASSes are too big. Sandy and Ken would prefer if their ASSes were a bit bigger. I told all four that there was nothing I could do about their ASSes. Factors that lead to the growth or decline of an ASS are totally beyond my control.
“Look,” I told them grimly, “No one gets to choose their own ASS. You just have to live with the ASS you’ve got.”