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Media & The Skin Deep Society

Posted October 18th, 2005 in Grey Matter, Reflections by M

No sooner is it quoted that “beauty is only skin deep” than it is just as quickly forgotten. Of contemporary cultural cliches this particular one has got to be one of the more poignant by the very virtue of its ubiquity, because in the hierarchy of statements grounded in reality, it ranks immediately below “Santa Claus is coming to town”. Why? Because much as it is oft repeated, it is never really reflected on, and what’s more it is immediately forgotten.

By virtue of observation alone it is abundantly clear that we fondly believe that of all the adjectives to describe us, superficial is not one of them.  We fondly believe that our judgements are based solely on sound reasoning and objectivity. We refuse to entertain for one second that we do not live by these words that so readily pour from our lips.

A very effective mirror of society is the media. Long before economists got it down on paper the dynamics of supply and demand had long been apparent to Adam and his immediate descendants. If people want to watch dogs biting man newspapers, magazines, television, Hollywood, Bollywood and Nollywood will oblige. If they do not the media fraternity will without a doubt withdraw that particular fare.

The unfortunate truth is that we are a reflection of what we watch and what we read.

A fairly accurate depiction of contemporary society and its beliefs can be very effectively gauged by an even cursory analysis of the media, notably cinema and the television.

The daily fare generally consists of numerous casts of impossibly good looking stars and starlettes going through day to day life dealing with complex relationships and life’s triumphs and tribulations. These triumphs and tribulations generally consist of a suitor wooing the suited despite the hurdles thrown the suitors way by virtue of evil twin brothers, jealous rivals, etc.

Never mind that actual tribulations like hunger, poverty, crime, ware, and human suffering only get passing references in the meat and potatoes of the struggles of Siobhan and Maximillian as they rush headlong towards their inevitable lavish  church wedding where brides liberally wear white, blissfully aware of the origin of that particular tradition.

Variations of the theme are the rush of Maximillian to get into Siobhan’s pants, the rush of Maximillian to save Siobhan from his mortal enemy, the rush of Maximillian to save Siobhan and the world from untimely doom, the rush of Siobhan to mend Maximillian’s errant ways and realize that she is the one he loves  and not the even more impossibly good looking Juliet, and so on

Recent entrants into the scene are the proliferation of programmes masquerading as “Reality TV”, an oxymoron if there ever was one. Someone ought to have written down when the difference between reality and television was the presence of a script. We’d have appreciated the heads up.

The basis in reality of 25 grown men convincing one woman on camera that she should spend the rest of her life with him is neither here nor there. Neither is that of a budding employer recruiting a deputy on public television and having the temerity to fire some of the applicants before they have even been hired after making them sell ice cream, again on public TV. Still more vague is the reality of 25 odd people being shipped to some obscure island and eliminate each other by carrying buckets of sand/seawater from A to B.

Now don’t get me wrong. No one is saying that TV should be intellectually stimulating insights into the purpose of man and the realities of life. No one wants to watch a 3 hour program detailing the finer aspects on nuclear fission vis a vis nuclear fusion. I enjoy my 24 and my South Park and Simpsons as much as the next man, if not more.

But I digress. The continuous fare of sculpted stars and starlettes on big screen and small screen and magazine covers living impossibly perfect lives have poisoned the very ideals and aspirations of humanity more than we know.

Before Calvin Klein, Dolce & Gabana and their ilk, it was possible for any woman to be beautiful and desirable and sexy. But now that these characters have been on the scene for some time now, anyone not 5′ 6″ with the dimensions 32-24-32 need not apply for the title ‘beautiful’. Thanks to these individuals and their ilk a ludicrous ideal of a beautiful woman has been fronted and women hitherto very comfortable with themselves are now made to feel as if they are acutely wanting. And they have been driven to try and conform.

The repercussions of these are far and wide. Silicon meant for assorted gadgets is increasingly ending up in nether regions. Some people have had so many face lifts the bags under their eyes are actually their knees. Many find themselves forced to give up a perfectly good meal and their meals generally consists of little more than stains on the bottom of saucers in the pursuit of the new benchmark of beauty.

Before Hollywood you could be lovely, whether your skin was black, white, yellow or olive. Several block busters later, if your skin is dark then you need not apply. In fact, if you are black your beauty is in its novelty value. Think Alek Wek.

The African woman settling down to watch good old fashioned TV is not given a moment’s peace. First off is an advertisement by a cosmetics company tellingly called Fair And Lovely. That’s right. Fair and Lovely. They have the temerity to suggest that anyone in possession of dark skin is an unfortunate individual that requires immediate relief. Their website informs me

With regular daily use, you will be able to unveil your natural radiant fairness in just 6 weeks!

The dramatic advertisement  actually currently showing on TV unfolds as follows:

A rather fetching lass arrives at an airline office for an interview as an air hostess. The interviewers take one look at her dark skin and dismiss her summarily. Dejected she walks out, holding out a palm with a ten shilling coin. Magically a sachet of Fair And Lovely skin lightening lotion appears on said palm. Over a couple of weeks using the lotion her skin progressively lightens. Then she appears again for the interview, oddly enough in the exact same outfit and the same hairdo. This time the pilot conducting the interview (I kid you not, a pilot was interviewing) is unable to  keep his mouth closed, and the lady from the cabin crew nods her head in approval.

And now already perfectly beautiful women are smearing toxins on their skins to bleach it, ostensibly to look more beautiful. One is unsure what to think upon seeing someone looking like they are wearing a white mask and white gloves, driven to do this by constant bombardment on what the ideal woman is supposed to look like.

The fact that this is not the ideal woman, but someone somehere’s idea of an ideal woman conveniently gets lost in translation.

After being told that they are not light skinned enough, they are also told that they are too big. Years of Cindy Crawfords, Kate Mosses and Naomi Campbells have led the media to conclude that if you look like you are desperately in need of a square meal, and have been so for the past 6 months then you exude beauty and radiance. If your bust is bigger than this, or your hips are bigger than this then not only are you not beautiful, you are assymetrically fat!

So sad, so sad.

I cannot begin to articulate just how much I object to the ludicrous notion that my mother and my friends and my fellow countrywomen, fellow Africans and indeed anyone of the ebony complexion are not beautiful because their skin is not light! Complete and utter rubbish! I’m not going to say anything as knee jerkingly mindless as “black is beautiful”. Personally, I think you can be beautiful, no matter what colour you are.

Popular media has challenged the very concept of quality life. You are not living a successful, quality life if you do not work long hours, hit the club three nights a week, the gym on two and once a week one cocktail with all the right people. This breed of life goes by the name of young, upwardly mobile professional. Anything outside these myopic parameters and you “don’t have a life”. Never mind that truthfully speaking a 54 weeks spent in this fashion are pretty much marking time, and one is completely unable to answer the question “what are you doing with your life”.

So sad, so sad.

Either directly or innuendo has convinced us that the idea of a perfect life is. Cosy job. Colossal house. Trophy spouse. Annual holiday. Two children, a boy and a girl. The token pet. A nanny.

It is tempting to say that these programmes we watch and magazines we read are just mindless entertainment to get away from the realities of life. But the question arises that are we getting so far away from the realities of life that we no longer know what they are?

I am inclined to think that we are, and with the opening of every new mindless reality show, every printing of mindless polls that tell you whether you are happy or not we are retreating further and further into our jewel flaunting, TV watching, yuppie idolizing skin deep society, blissfully aware that with every episode of realtity tv it watches it is losing more and more touch of reality.

Force MDs – Tender Love
  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    Yaizz. Very nice. The fakeness of us all! This post speaks out on something close to my heart.

    :-?

    Our lives need to be more than just me, me, me at the cocktail with so-and-so, my car, my job, surprisingly, even my TIME… if we focussed less on ourselves, we’d find that that elusive happiness suddenly heaves into view… but I rant.

    Imagine a perfectly fyne Miro chic dieting ati ‘coz thin is good! Skinny beauty (another oxymoron?) ikae pia!

    :)) Hear hear!
  • chepkemboi

    @fair & lovely – thanks for writing about this. Every time I’m in Kenya and see their billboards and others of their ilk, then look at the Kenyans around me who are mostly lovely, but not always fair (myself incluced), i wonder why these adverts are not challenged, or simply ignored by the un-fair majority. Is it mental slavery, colonial hangover or what ?

    The thing is, the conditioning is very subtle … it may not even be noticed

    And let me not start on the TV programmes we watch in that country of ours !!!!!! ngai fafa, ati la mujer de lorenzo, sijui days of our lives etc etc, they just plain drive me crazy. If I want distraction and amusement, then I should watch at least something that informs/relates to my life a la vitimbi or vioja. I’m not saying that one should watch only Kenyan things obviously, but a balance can and should and must be found.

    @silicon in the nether regions – LMBAO!!!!!!

    and, thanks for not stating black is beautiful LOL!!!!, that cliche has been done and misunderstood to within an inch of its life.

    I’m wary of that particular phrase — it’s dangerously close to a cliche now

    Thanks Thinker for bringing up topics that are long overdue, in an intelligent and entertaining manner, and most importantly for somehow creating a space where we can exchange thoughts/ideas in a respectful way.

    :D

    I am waiting for your next entry.

  • Ni2

    IMHO You can talk about this until you are blue in the face. Fact of the matter is that there are dark skinned sisters out there who want to be light skinned.

    And that is precisely why I am writing this particular post. Why should they want to be light skinned? Because years of subtle and not so subtle conditioning they have been prevailed upon that you are not beautiful if you are dark skinned, something i strongly refute!

    And the brothers dont help coz we women have seen how people droll over the light skinned sisters. Also women have insecurities we arent perfect.

    True, the brothers don’t help in this regard. The same conditioning extended to the sisters manifests itself differently in the brothers. Basically they are told that a beautiful woman should look a particular way, an unfortunate state of affairs indeed. Mercifully not all brothers ascribe to this school of thought

    Also attaining the “perfect” skin is possible using the right products. (I would like to stress that I dont feel that perfect is equivalent to lightskinned). Sometimes to feel good on the inside you need to look good on the outside. (and I cant believe I have just said that)

    I don’t dispute this at all! I have vested interests in nice skin :D What I dispute is the notion that perfect skin is light skin. Why should looking good on the outside mean having light skin?

    I think the fair and lovely advert is pure rubbish but… hey what can I do apart from change the channel.

  • http://bankelele.blogspot.com bankelele

    The Fair & Lovely ad is sad and disgusting, but probably true

    What do you mean true? That light skin == beautiful skin???
  • http://Shespeaks Elle

    You seem upset.

    Upset? Not really. More like slightly saddended — we are victims of ourselves

    It is women who fuel this Propaganda. Female Homo sapiens sapiens are the only mammals who live by the rule:- lighter is fairer. All the rest shun lighter skin or fur as the case may be. Akin to albinism they think.

    That’s the way it is and has been for centuries. Right this minute we are only practising genetic memory.
    Beauty should be a reflection of self-worth and appreciation. Sometimes it does: it wears many coats, glow, radiance, sex appeal. But sadly yes, we have been conditioned to think it comes in a tin/ bottle/ box.

    So..
    It is important to establish a healthy sense of like for oneself.

    That fish you’re eating is really paying off =))

    (In my case M would say unhealthy)
    After all you are going to be with yourself and your face for a very long time

  • http://Shespeaks Elle

    Ubiquity? My my M have we been reading?!

  • Ni2

    @Elle
    hahaha nicely put… ie the “you are going to be yourself and your face for a very long time”

    Not forgetting that women want to remain young for as long as possible…

    Isnt it interesting that the older a woman is the less beautiful but with men its the opposite? (since women can accomodate the wrinkles shouldnt guys do the same :-D just kidding )

    =)) With men it’s the opposite? Let me not cast the first stone but running quickly through our cabinet … >:)

    But I digress. I dont think women are solely to blame for this. both women and men are at “fault”.

    I’ve don’t think it is a gender thing e.g. started by men or by women — it’s just the way things have been presented to the public at large that has led to this state of affairs

    Men drool, women oblige (sp?) its a vicious cycle… especially hard on the ones who can’t get men to drool and as such resort to products that will aid in getting the men to droll over them. If becoming “fairer” is the way… so be it!

    @M
    I totally agree with you. But I insist that no matter how much we talk about it nothing changes.

    But at least we can question why we do some of the things we do …

    Also I’d like to point out that there are some darkskinned brothers who really prefer their “sisters” light! Why blame a woman for trying to get some of the attention?

    Look, I’m not blaming anyone. All i’m saying is that she should not have to get lighter in the first place! What if when everyone is light someone decides that to be beautiful you have to be 6′ 2″. What then?

    I think that society is also to blame. I don’t know if this is true so please feel free to correct me, but in Rwanda you are considered more beautiful is you are light skinned.

  • Ni2

    M

    If you could correct my typo’s I would really appreciate it :”>

    :D
  • http://bankelele.blogspot.com bankelele

    The light-skin = beauty sterotype is very strong in Kenya

    Sadly so :(
  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    M, thanks for putting this so eloquently… I enjoyed reading the whole thing.

    1. I havent watched that Fair Lady commercial but I feel really sad that such kind of rubbish is being sold to our women and they are buying it. And when I say OUR I am not just thinking or talking of Kenyan women in Kenya.. I do know people who have gone the whole hog of buying skin lightening creams and using them for ages to try and make themselves more beautiful… :(

    Some sisters have been reduced to looking like they are wearing white masks and matching gloves! When will it all end?

    And yes, I have had a problem with the stupefying light skin=beauty since God knows when, but hey, most people will never hear otherwise. And this notion is not only propagated by the media – we have even parents, siblings, friends, teachers, employers etc basing this on the criteria of suitability or attractiveness of a person. Take for example mixed race women like Halle Berry and Thande Newton, or even Michael Michelle (used to be in ER) – how often do you see dark-skinned women in front roles on TV/Movies/music videos etc.

    And speaking of employers – I still cant get over the fact in that commercial the woman got a job because she came back with her skin lighter – WTF? Yeah, ok we were holding the job for you for six weeks until you sorted out your darkness? What dull bull?

    Did i mention that she was hired on the spot and walked out in a stewardess’ uniform ready to board the plane and get to work?

    And, and, another load of bovine excrement is propagated by that commercial detailing that only a beautiful woman would work as an air hostess (or stewardess as they should PC be known)

    Oh, as for someone above asking if in Rwanda to be light skinned is beautiful – is that why they cast Sophie Okonedo as the wife? Hmm – I do have it on good authority that you are considered beautiful if you are light skinned in Nigeria! :)

    Have you ever noticed that in movies and tv people dont go to the loo? Has anyone seen anyone in Lost squatting doing a number 2? Or having a naked wash? Or eating anything for that matter – they live on water those beautiful people LOL. I love 24 to bits but no one goes to the loo either, unless they are going to be tied up or shot!

    =)) 24 hours is a bit tight to save the world AND get rid of that unwise double helping of chicken casserole, chapos and sembe

    While I am still here – that thinness being beautiful is another ..er.. load – How often have i seen women who have made themselves so skinny and when they want to have babies they cant because their bodies stopped producing the fertilizer (yes, I said that :) that enables one to have babies, and have to be put on some form of pills or other – I think some manure – the organic sort – but I can be biased! :)

    @M – please dont junk this comment, or better yet, do not limit the amount of space I can use to comment on your blog coz you know I am coming back for more right?

    There will be no limits here cherie :D
  • http://ngoma-cia-kari.blogspot.com/ Wangari

    light skinned = beautiful is utter tosh!!

    i do think though that the we are as much to blame as the media. the media is the voice of the people. i dont think any advertising firm or media house would produce stuff without doing some sort of test marketing to see what people think and so they must have some sort of backing that this is what people think for them to advocate it, no?

    I don’t think it’s a matter of the people wanting it. I think the media are propagating still further an existing and ridiculous stereotype
  • http://culturefusion.blogspot.com/ Curious

    Absolutely entertaining.

    Yes, media is life, life is media. Thus is the way things will be as we head into the unforeseeable future.

    It causes a lot of frustration when one is in the know about the media – that they are just humans who quite often blunder and rarely come back to rectify the ill-placed opinions they have birthed in people’s heads. For the media, a correction costs double money.

    Well cited examples of the years of subtle biases; these now manifested in products directed at the inflicted to cure them of their unfortunate allocation by nature. Revealing that those behind the products, though would rather die than admit it, do indeed harbour the view that others are in need of lightening.

    I think most of us try to stay and live in reality but the outcome is that we seem to be loosing out when mass society moves in a different direction. Social welfare actually reduces when you try to be different – dare I say. One has to go the extra mile, pay the extra penny not to be another sheep in the farm.

    Many can’t afford to alternative lifestyle with relative reduced social welfare brought about by a decision to live in reality in its entirety of meaning. Succumbing to the far cheaper and readily available nonsense out there is, for some, the only option. However, not surprisingly, even in the higher realms of reality, we find high level nonsense from high level people who are not only confused themselves, but want to confuse others in what they call a job.

    LIFE IS COMPLICATED AT BEST. GREED AND FEAR ARE AT THE CENTRE OF IT.

    :-?
  • http://haidhuru.blogsome.com Mutumia

    *on my feet applauding this post*
    I have known jamaaz who were willing to “overlook” my dark-skinn-ded-ness. I have also gotten ‘compliments’ for being “fine despite being so dark” and while it used to enrage me- now it just saddens me. And I like the way you put it as more than a light-dark skinned debate. ’cause while it was there in Kenya, here in the States, it’s ridiculous. I’m sad to say that I would heistate to bring up a dark-skinned daughter here. And while, the jamaaz that I know- savvy, educated brothers all pay lip service to the notion that beauty comes in all shades and hues, it’s sadly telling that almost to a man, they all seem to gravitate towards the light skinned sisters. Go figure.

    :( What a tangled web we weave! I wonder what will do when the next range of fashion houses decide that the beautiful woman is 6′ 9″?!!
  • I

    M, M, M you never cease to amuse me!! i have to laugh first!!

    Its amazing, when you sit dwn and think about it, we are the cause of our own distruction.

    As women for example, if all women realized that all those different cosmetics that are sold by different companies are the all the same except for the tube, container and the scents, they would be saving a lot of money.

    :)) Talk about old wine in new skins!

    Cosmetic companies are making a killing of such products as fair and lovely, mearly have a little bleach in them, and all the bleach does, is BURN your skin so as to appear lighter..

    I wonder how much lighter after a gallon of jik is in your body…

    On to reality TV. all i can say is that they all need to be boycotted. They are all bunch of garbage to say the least. and they are not Reality, they have scripts too..

    And for some reason the masses eat it up like chocolate syrup and ice cream!
  • Njoro

    M Tosha!
    So deep. So deep. Brilliant as usual, analytical, reflective (what else did you tell me to say M?) LOL.

    We wacha! Money has been poured ! :D>

    Now I have a confession to make. I just sprinted down memory lane and almost ALL the women I’ve dated, drooled over, lusted over, made slurred drunken phone calls to at 2AM in the morning, fallen into trenches or bumped into strangers or walked into poles while staring back at are ……well….. you know…..({shaking head}what a shame!) Tch! Tch!!
    My name is Njoro and I have the light-skin disease.

    =)) Take this nail cutter and go mow the football field
  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    Its funny that I read about this today coz I was thinking about it this morning and they had Sean Paul on XM67 explaining what a browni is. He was saying its a light skinned Jamaican. Dark skinned jamaican women are called Mochas. when he said that I started visualising that mama in his “I am still in Love video”. Although that mama is from NY and not Jamrock, she is dark skinned and very fine. So to the mocha women, come sing for me baby. And thanks to Wesley Snipes fro bringing dark skinned brothers back to the limelight

    Encore! :)
  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com/ Shiro

    Though i am fair skinned i don’t do all those things many people call beauty regimes, either way even if i was dark skinned i wouldn’t bleach my face. As for reality TV, IMHO is just corporate America, always looking for something new to make more money, you know.

    Really? Are you sure? I’d like to think that many women who bleach their skin don’t really want to …
  • mruhya

    the beauty thing i guess is abt the environment, i mean i go to shagz and i dont see any of the light skin crap! a nice bath and a splash of solea (well, maybe more than a splash) and theyre good 2 go!

    Solea? Ama vasline petroleum jelly. Ama Imperial Leather :))

    as 4 reality tv, like u said, its what the public is craving for so…

    and speaking of “reality tv”, did anyone catch the debate on constitutional review last nite?

    The Banana camp should have put someone like Kimunya, or someone with a modicum of intelligence instead of that clown Tuju. But that’s the stuff for a whole new post
  • http://prousette.blogspot.com prousette

    OOii @guess we are holding the job until you sorted out your darkness, there are more than two ways to interpret this.
    This is a sore point especially for me as a woman because as you can see the pilot did the interview and could not keep his mouth closed lol!

    The other day in a super market I ran itno an age defying lotion!! I kid you not! Just wondered is the lotion defying age or it will help you do the same?

    The mysteries of today :-?

    There ensues a whole debate after this about people making choices of friends, employees, spouses etc on the basis of good looks and good looks being defined by kina Avon, Justine et all…. so a dogs life for you if you really do not fit into this.
    Some of the most beautiful people I know and love are nowhere near those stereotypes so I think for lots of us we still search deeper than the skin for beauty.

    Speaking of which M, if beauty should not be skin deep only do you think a beautiful liver is attractive?

    Personally i prefer the pancreas …
  • Tequila

    Life is so ironic! Out here in the west! White people will go to great lengths to get the “perfect tan”…but unfortunately half the time they end up lookin more orange than the brown effect they desired….then the black peeps r doin the opposite to bcome lighter skinned! Lol! n who’s the only one person who is happy out of all this madness… the producers selling these products to us gullible consumers… lets just face it life’s a b*tch the only thing we can strive for is try to be happy with what we have! ( easier said than done huh) lol

    :) That’s life for you right there!
  • I

    Hi M,
    i was reading on Cnn.com entertainemnet, that one of the tv stations (ABC-US) does not have any new shows to air on saturday nights and they are taking ideas. so i started thinking..

    how about a reality show about a night out in Nairobi City on a.. say.. Friday or Satruday night out… i think we can beat all the other so called reality shows in ratings.. a few drinks later, all the scrips would be handed to “Njeri or Mutua behind the bar… and the show will then become a REAL reality…
    The thought just makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.. Lol.

    =)) With the escapades Kenyans get upto when the moon is up and the morn is afar, dull would not be the word to describe events!
  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    Where do I begin.Yes the light is beautiful thing exists in Kenya but thank God it has not gotten to the levels of Congo.Yaani there even jamaas bleach themselves to be light!To the extent of taking pills!This is no insult to the light gals but I have known some pretty plain and run down light gals.

    =)) I’ve seen them brothers … they make paper look tanned

    Why do we bother listening to the media on how to live our lives when they are in fact just trying to sell us things!More so here in stato where the media ceased to be do things in this order 1.inform 2.educate 3.entertain 4.etc now it is 1.entertain 2.sell 3.sell 4.sell even more.well there are good channels like discovery but it is hard to watch them all day long.Anyhpw what I want to say is that it is about time we began thinking for ourselves and not let the media do so for us!

    Easier said than done i’m afraid :)
  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Hey… its not about Halle, Michael Michelle or Thandie being light-skinned as much as they are smokin…

    OK… They have great looking bods so I do have a bias…

    Now… Oprah was good in Color Purple & I have always liked Whoopi… They do not fit the “light-skinned” mold…

    Yes, there is a bias & the ad is condescending but hopefully KQ overlooks that…. I had read (no idea if the story is true) that a Kenyan MP (well, brains are optional) complained that KQ hostesses/stewardesses are ugly & fat….

    I would trust a Kenyan MP as far as I can throw him.

    There is a height & weight requirement for airline crews coz you can’t be a fat mama while serving drinks! That is the HONEST truth! And when you need evacuation, you need someone who can climb over seats & fit thru small spaces…

    Of course, the physique not colour matters… BTW, other societies e.g. Indian suffer the same issue….

    A tangled web indeed
  • Malaika

    M, while I appreciate your blog on this issue, I still feel you have a lot to learn on the process aptly termed as the “Social Construction of Beauty”. Trust me on this, you are a MAN! YOU will never know what it feels like to be a dark skinned woman living in Kenya.

    Nor have I ever pretended to!

    Its starts from when you are a young girl and folks come over to visit and lament on how your grandmother’s genes have gone to such waste! How could you dare turn out dark skinned with all the light skin genes in the family? Now M, I can take such nonsense now that I’m older and wiser, and have some kiss ass comebacks but try explaining to a four year old girl that her dark skin is just as beautiful as any one else. My years as a young adult were just as bad, how about being called a “thwack” (don’t you just love Kenyan expressions?) on your first day at college by a group of guys, for no reason at all. Now try being a SKINNY-dark-skinned woman in Kenya. That’s the other beauty myth in Africa. Yes you brothers out there, there are African women who will never grow beyond a size 6, and yes, we eat all we like and we are proud of it. I have to say leaving Kenya was the best thing for my ego. The irony is that this dark-skinned-slim’ish-woman (ok, so I’ve gained a few pounds), who shaves her hair almost bald, has received numerous compliments from…(brace yourselves for this) – WHITE FOLK! Yes, here in the good ol’ US of A, I have turned heads and received genuine smiles of appreciation. M, you may be one of the few conscious African men out there, but your indignation pales in comparison with the majority of our society. By the way, this is my first time commenting…very sorry for blogging on your blog and thank you so much for all your wonderful commentary.

    Blog away! Like i tell everyone you have carte blanche to say as you please (unless you’re selling enlarging pills or want me to keep for you your deceased dictator husband’s funds ;)
  • http://ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

    just read about the contoversy surrounding beyonce’s cover photo on vanity fair (first black woman on cover since 1993).

    apparently the editors of another mag called “radar” believe her skin was lightened to make it on the cover.

    looking at online images of the cover, i wouldn’t say she’s been made lighter – coz she is lighter than the average black woman (same response from vanity fair by the way).

    For all we know she could be a jik afficiado as well ;)
  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    As for me myself and I, I love darker skinned brothers!!! But that’s a story for another time and place.

    As a light skinned person myself, I must say that this whole issue confounds me. For crying out loud, I get sunburn if I stay out in the sun too long. Why would anyone want to have to ration the time they spend in the sun!!!? Trust me, sun burn is not much fun!

    Funny though, that people also have deragatory names for light people. Have been called yellow, banana peel (YES!) and all sorts of names. The worst was when kids used to point at me and say ‘muthungu’.

    I don’t know if I have a point, but as someone said earlier, just learn to love the skin you’re in. I’ve learnt to wear sunscreen or just burn and live with it. Like you say M, dark, light, what does it matter!

    :D Well said. Now if more of us thought along those lines!
  • http://a Cat Mad!

    Arf!

  • Ni2

    The height thing is already here! Have you seen any international models who are 4’9″? akina Tyra Banks,Naomi Campbell,Cindy Crawford… There are set dimensions you need to have… perfect teeth, clear blemish free skin, minumum height, and those other body dimensions I dont know what they are lakini they must be met.

    As for ridiculous products!

    Who has seen the virgin soap??? I laughed out loud at the supermarket. People started giving me the “you must be crazy look” but that didnt stop me.

    I saw that soap too =)) WTF?!!!

    I have always wondered why some people of Congo have that “sick” look. Kumbe its bleech/pills? I think they look disgusting! IMHO ofcourse.

  • Ni2

    @Tequila

    Well said.

  • WGK

    Interesting how many people here have such vehement denunciations of complexion-based judgements. It is all very well to be indignant about all this, but there is something to the lighter-woman-as-prettier social disease, if that is what it is, and I am not sure that all of it is the result of media conditioning.

    Then what else could have led to it then, if not collective peer pressure?

    I may be shallow, but I find Beyonce stunning. As to whether that is because she is light skinned, or whether I am reacting to her bootyliciousness (nice word, if there ever was one), cannot be determined, but if it helps, I have found the following women absolutely beautiful, in no particular order – Shanice (remember her?), Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, Karabo from Generations, Nia Long, Natasha Museveni – I could go on, but I fear I am getting derailed. Point of fact is, we can rant and rage about how we should all be inclusive, and condemn those who buy skin lightening creams, but will someone please answer Malaika’s plaintive cry on behalf of all dark-skinned four year old girls everywhere?

    At no time have I condemned anyone! In fact I think that those who buy the creams are forced to do so by some sort of collective pressure from society to conform to the established ideal of beauty.

    Also, no one has pointed out that most races find their skin colour unsatisfying. Otherwise, how come white people spend millions on holidays in the sun and on suntan lotions and tanning salons and beds and all that? Paying through the nose to be bombarded by ultraviolet light in an effort to be darker. While millions of their sisters are spending millions to be lighter. Irony, or is it just human nature to attempt to improve on God’s work, misguided as the effort may be?

    There’s always the element of grass being greener on the other side, but I don’t think the pressure to darken over there is even a fraction of that to lighten over here
  • Ni2

    @WGK
    >>Also, no one has pointed out that most races find their skin >>colour unsatisfying.

    someone DID point it out. Look at Tequila’s comment.

  • WGK

    Oh, sorry – how did I miss that? Apologies to Tequila. But that just illustrates the point, does it not? It is all irrational, and my fear is that approaching the discussion from a purely rational perspective – telling all the dark-skinned women who have learnt to detest their skin tone that they are just as beautiful as their lighter skinned sisters, while they receive negative feedback from elsewhere – may go nowhere in sorting out the problem. And neither will the Alek Wek solution of acceptance through shock work.

    Which was exactly my point — eliminate the negative feedback and the problem will in time be solved
  • Al

    Wow! Great analysis of our current plight. I’m glad you could extricate yourself from this whole mindset we’re trapped in and find humor in the situation. Great column today; I was really inspired

  • Eclipse

    Ni2 seems realy passionate bout this. Well i also cant believe am sayin this but you as as beautiful as u think you are. so all those wit insecurities shida yao…wacha watumie all those products to be light and suffer the consequencies later. me very black n pround of it.

  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com/ Shiro

    You know what Thinker i had not thought of that advert of that chic now everytime i see it i cringe, somebody tell them it is in bad taste.

  • Ni2

    @Eclipse

    Acha siasa! :-D

    Do you and Eclipse know each other? =))
  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    Too true. Too true.

    I wish we were different but…
    Vanity is man

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    Sad but true.
    Vanity is man.

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    Guys feel really strongly about this. So in the interest of debate, I will put in my piece and head for shelter. We men have always marvelled at the stuff women do to their bodies in the name of beauty.

    A long time ago young luo girls used to cross rivers and hills to meet a guy who would knock a gap into their teeth if they were unfortunate enough to be born without one. European women used to tie their waists so tightly in those 1920 dresses of theirs(the ones with wire frames to exagerrate the ass) that doctors declared the stuff dangerous. Some people, I forget who, used to bind their babies heads in bandages forcing the head to grow to a particular shape. The list is endless and scary.

    What jumps to mind fromn reading such stories is the salient fact that the varying societies in question seem to be quietly if not overtly in support of the sometimes atrocious operations being performed in the name of beauty.

    In my opinion, the problem is, what is beauty and who defines it.

    My sister swears that it is us guys who force them to wear hipsters and do a gazillion sit-ups a day. I tell her sit-ups are healthy but I don’t miss her point. We are to blame for some of it. However, the chief blame must lie squarely with the cosmetics companies, Channel O and that most babilonian of beasts, MTV.

    On the other hand, they are only showing us what we want. It begins to get a little dicey at this point.

    Here, I would like to fall back to that which all African romantics fall back to. These white people came in their boats with their shiny mirrors and a pocket full of toffees and we threw away our culture for theirs. It’s a case of throwing out the baby with the soap, or is it the bathwater.

    That’s it. My piece. I hope I have muddied the water a little.

  • Ni2

    @sidaki

    Well said. But can we really blame cosmetic companies? Take your point about Luo girls, I cant blame that on comestic companies, channel O or MTV

    Heard of foot binding in China. The smaller your feet the more exquisite you were. So young girls had their feet bound tight. (hxxp://www.ccds.charlotte.nc.us/History/China/04/hutchins/hutchins.htm) just to get some pics on this practise. No one would marry you if you had clown (ie normal) feet.

    Although Im not comparing our situation to the chinesse Im just saying that for some people (read Malaika’s comment) its something that is started when you are young. You are told that being dark is ugly, light skinned is beautiful. The people telling you this are old guys who have no clue what channel O is.

    So pole sana but I dont see how you can blame this one on the media.

    If we want to get rid of this we need to start with ourselves. Be careful what you tell young girls and boys :-D You may be joking or teasing lakini they might just take it to heart.

    I agree with you though. The problem is beauty and who defines it.

    As for us throwing away our culture once white people came… well some things that we threw as far as Im concerned were worth being thrown out. Im glad I wasnt born back in the day.

  • http://www.sidaki.blogsopt.com sidaki

    @Ni2

    I concede your point.

    However, these media companies and their cosmetic brethren cannot escape blame. NO way! The point about conditioning falls right at their feet. They show us what is supposed to be beautifull and voila! next week every guy is looking for a tall, leggy lady preferably with light skin. Every (okay, most) girl and guy in Nai is trying to look like what they watch on The Beat, which has been voted number 1 by teenagers for two years now. And who can blame them? They lack role models. Our idea of local music is nothing but a cheap recycled version of western hip-hop repackaged by adding a few sheng and swahili words. Whenever two or three of these kids are gathered talking about local music, you will NOT hear them mention Kayamba Africa. Sorry, I digress. The point I’m trying to make is that we are aping the west too much. To a point where it has become ridiculous.

    Having said that, Ni2, I get your point.

    Conditioning is to blame.

    Who does the conditioning?

    We all play a part. All of us.

  • Levis Gachie

    On the referendum that’s turned 3/4 of the people in our beautiful peaceful country into banana or orange heads:Have you evr asked yaself why every news clip of a banana rally features the politicos munching away at the bunches of bananas on offer at the high table?!!While those of the orange side only deem the oranges fit enuff to be ornamental objects;to be hung ol’ver the place including as headgear??!!My take is:- The two fruits have distinct qualities esp when ripe.One can determine the quality of both fruits frm the outside bt THE significant difference is that one can know whether a banana is rotten or not frm the outer skin,which ain’t the case with an orange;it could be rotten right at the center of the fruit and u’d never know till u’ve dissected it.
    So there is my point.The orange guys can’t dare eat them in full glare of the people and the media lest they start throwing up n’ their oranges away after discovering that they’re rotten right at the core.
    Funzo la hadithi:The Orange camp knows that this ain’t a fight for Wanjiku’s katiba because tho’ not perfect;is a massive improvement on both the current and Bomas draft.This for them is a fight for their political survival which is in dire straits esp if the Proposed draft carries the day.Be wiser than a politician and u can live a stress-free life!!!!!!

  • Chellois

    This is a REALLY commendable post. I have many things to add but mainly:

    (i) this is also a women’s rights issue. Take out the objectification of women and all or nearly all of the problem disappears. Few men/women apply the stereotype to men, both in Africa and the West. From hip hop videos, to Beyonce (is it just Adrian who noticed that Beyonce seems to literally turn ‘white’ in TV ads or in CD covers, but paparazzi photos show her the hue of Naomi Campbell? Anyway that’s by the by.). Why and how can women rights’ activists in Kenya stand by and watch that Fair & Lovely commercial?! It’s beyond comprehension. Women in Kenya have to take responsibility, and to get active.

    (ii) ‘Africanization’ is the quickest solution. In my experience, watching tv/the media in other more ‘Africanized’ countries, the more ‘pro-African’ a country, the less the ‘light skin’ obsession. Kenya is a tragic example of the ‘everything western is best’ mentality. If I was the president I would BAN fair & lovely and all those bleaches sold in Our Price and other bleach fests.

    (iii) There’s a lot of research evidence on healthy skin being attractive (‘healthy’ in the evolutionary sense being blemish-free, oily, smooth). I think that most black men are probably not as pro-light skin as people think, and – like someone said – it may be black women who are more obsessed with being light. Many women say that they dress up for other women’s judgement, rather than for men’s (women size each other up A LOT!).

    — don’t forget hair weaves, hair straightening, etc. I think that they are as bad as the bleach thing. Has anyone ever researched the dangers of those chemicals? Isn’t sad that many women are ashamed of their afo? And yes, I have my afro intact.