Grimm’s Cabinet Lineup
08
December
The Brothers Grimm after an intensely nerve wracking two week wait have finally released the newest cabinet lineup of one of the greatest fairy tales of all, the Kenyan Cabinet.
It is hoped that all and sundry will find the changes entertaining
Oldilocks
Mwai Kibaki (Never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity)
The Three (Very Old) Fossilized Bears
– David Mwiraria
– John Michuki
– Njenga Karume
Puss In Boots
Lucy Kibaki
Cinderella (Several Face lifts later, Foot size 18)
Njeru Ndwiga
The Seven Annoyingly Enthusiastic Dwarves
– Moody
– Kiunjuri aka Sleepy (on certain streets)
– Mirugi
– Kituyi
– Saitoti
– Ali (Mwakwere) aka Goofy
– Daudi (Mwenje)
The Billy Goats Gruff (Proof silence is golden)
– Kiraitu Murungi
– Morris Dzoro
– Amos Kimunya
The Big Bad Wolf (Bores prey to death)
Musikari Kombo
Red Riding Hood (Always smiling at nothing)
Raphael Tuju
The Emperor (sans clothes, IQ, etc)
Maina Kamanda
John Legend - Ordinary People
1. Ni2
(108 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
LOL!
Hahaha ati Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Big bad wolf!!!
Nicely put.
After 2 weeks of blessed silence…
The drama begins…
2. mruhya
(59 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 5:18 pm
hehehe!
The famous quote about a certain personality who "never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity" comes to mind. Personally I’m very disappointed. The only outstanding thing in that announcement was the preceding speech which had me going for a while. but just as my hopes had been raised slightly, the dude had just to bring em all crashing down.
3. mruhya
(59 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 5:24 pm
PS. I’ve only made 14 comments?!
4. magaidi
(42 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 5:51 pm
Kibaki is either incredibly stupid or incredibly smart.
5. Guess
(122 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 6:22 pm
If there was Kenya Force One type of plane and all the cabinet ministers (elected and de-selected) were in it, and it crashed, does it mean Kenya would be leaderless as we seem to be recycling the same old, over (under) used fossils and mummies (undead)?
6. Guess
(122 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
Just wanted to say that I am proud of my second place groupie status.. What do I get?
7. Guess
(122 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
(Ok, this is stalking I realise, but I had to hit forty)
Yes
8. Msanii_xl
(79 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 6:34 pm
The Big Bad Wolf (Bores prey to death)
Musikari Kombo
…..lol…funny funny.
hey how come I only have one comment? EVER? i demand a recount
9. Ms K
(126 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 6:59 pm
You my dear, are just a treasure. Who else would put it so succintly. I want a Chicken Licken in there BTW.
@G
LOL you little hussy!
10. Shiro
(130 Comments) | December 8th, 2005 at 7:38 pm
Puss in boots forever, i am disapointed by the old man
11. Mutumia
(56 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 4:58 am
so are you saying that Njeru Ndwiga is actually an ugly sista who can’t wear the slipper??? LOL— good list!
12. TeeJ
(28 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 6:09 am
Njenga Karume….I mean kamon, Oldilocks is playing. This dude has been in parliament since Lord knows when. Can he even write anymore? But with 500K he can find someone to do it for him. All he has to keep pracoing is his signature.
And why is he letting this peeps that are quiting within a day feel hot for him. Si he just appoints new p’ple. kwani?
13. Ni2
(108 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 9:05 am
@Teej
Thing is it was meant to be a coalition party. NARC won the election not DP. So now that people are quitting left right and center where is he going to get these new guys from?
Besides it took him 2 weeks to come up with this list. It shall take longer for him to come up with another list to replace the guys who are quitting. (And the new appointees might just quit again
14. mlevi
(21 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 10:31 am
bored to tears by all this politiking.
just wanted to see how many or rather how few comments i got…
15. Prousette
(143 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 12:13 pm
I wept in disappointment as I watched the New Look cabinet roll off the press either "new" changed meaning at 7.59 pm EAT or I missed the whole boat what makes me smile is that people actually rejected the posts.
I totally mistrust politicians but never in my limited Moi era experience did anybody ever reject any favor bestowed on them by a sitting president.
Fond memories of Kamotho and "the kiatu- that- shall -fit -come what- may" by reddykulas
Shall we wait and see???
16. chepkemboi
(14 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 12:20 pm
LOL @ puss in boots, you’ll get me fired, thinker.
And, I have nothing to say about the new line-up, nothing at all. Finally, as we say in kinandi, this whole thing has ‘caught my mouth’
17. Ni2
(108 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
@ mlevi
Your not alone when it comes to being fed up with these guys. As much as I was least concerned with Oldilocks when he was making his cabinet announcement I was pleasently surprised when the said appointees rejected their posts. Its as Prousette said these things never happened before!
@Prousette
It would have been suicide for someone to reject a seat. Lets not forget that back in the day we had torture chambers and followed with detention so ukileta kichwa you shall be deal with according.
@Chepkemboi
>>"as we say in kinandi, this whole thing has ‘caught my >>mouth’"
hahaha very appropriate! I was in the same state jana listening to the news trickling in from the street…
@M
Dont even start saying that Moi should come back! (Putting words in your mouth??
) And no we dont need another Moi either!
18. Shiro
(130 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 3:26 pm
Wait a bit, did Musikari Kombo just say he thought he wanted to be VP? I was lost but now i am found. I say Kibs i am ready to be an assistant of an assistant of an assistant Minister.
WTF, it is all about political musical chairs, CABINET POSTS upfor Grabs…..They just lost their taste,.UUI Kiunjuri doesn’t want to share an assistant minister post. SELFISH, UNDESERVING BASTARDS….
Poor old man, he might just collapse!
19. Ms K
(126 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 4:27 pm
I think the Baks should retire and go farm vanilla. Every now and then Puss in boots (LMAO you’re such a nut!! Or maybe two ;-)
can make vanilla cookies which they’ll eat as they watch the sun go down over the Nyeri hills and reminisce over the good old days!! Ha that dude is f.r.i.e..d!
Ps/ Nimeamua Kalembe Ndile ni Chicken Licken. I know its not a Grimm tale but it so fits him.
20. Ms K
(126 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 4:29 pm
Did you hear this one:
KWS reporting mass animal migration from Kenya to Tanzania. Experts say migration a protest against appointment of Kalembe Ndile as ass minister for wildlife.
21. Dusty
(19 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 4:54 pm
The more things change, the more the stay the same…
Kibaki is now useful for only one thing: the subject of a case study on how NOT to lead a country.
22. Farmgal
(101 Comments) | December 9th, 2005 at 10:48 pm
Kenyan politics are becoming a soap opera, people getting appointed ..refusing the jobs offered them, then turning up to be sworn in…..who knows what will happen next!
The other thing akina Raila and co calling for snap elections….kwani Kenyans have nothing better to do with their time?
Why are Kenyan politic filled with wrangles about leadership and positions held? This politicians forget why they are elected in the first place……I think someone needs to give them a job discription before taking office. arrrg frurations!
23. Udi
(14 Comments) | December 10th, 2005 at 1:04 am
whether he had actually included ODM or not, they still would have been a bunch of overpaid clowns with air in their head
24. Poi
(9 Comments) | December 10th, 2005 at 7:36 am
I gat too much love for red riding hood why? I dunno, love the analysis and oh those names crazy,crazy
Have a good weekend…
25. johnny
(3 Comments) | December 10th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
Now we can see how Protecting a tribal seat realy works. just as Raila said "Kibaki’s Government is too small for him to destroy, kiraitu and muchuki will destroy it from within" and this is what we are seeing know.
M, who doesnt want to be a minister? almost all. therefore rejecting such an offer means that the one offering is in deep shit, of unsound mind, and under influence of veryintoxicants.
26. Prousette
(143 Comments) | December 10th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
The urge to join the protesting animals to Tanzania keeps getting stonger by the day. If only I could get the hang of that Swa of naomba…
27. Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Kenyan Sphere Blog hopping
(No Comments) | December 11th, 2005 at 2:47 am
[...] M takes a story book approach to the cabinet lineup, complete with puss in boots, cinderella and the dwarves… [...]
28. Luna
(2 Comments) | December 11th, 2005 at 8:52 pm
my gosh, the Lucy as Puss in Boots, how exact…hahahahhahah! great blog entry!
29. eclipse
(110 Comments) | December 12th, 2005 at 12:20 am
Well the only positive thing about the fosils in govt is that soon they will be 6 feet under and be reincarnated as oil to fuel our jikos
kibaki is as wise a a sheep!
kiunjuri aka sleepy..alil below the belt (literally) dont u think
30. nakeel
(77 Comments) | December 12th, 2005 at 12:05 pm
With all due respect first u made this a good laugh.. Then as President as he is should just pave way for better pplke now coz he is just taking Over 30 MILLION pple for a ride and a Kalungu on top.. What the hell will Maina Kamanda talk to one Sepp Blatter not mentioning the Malcom Speed… What does he know?/
Michuki was working before even my mother thought of giving birth to me… this is tooo muchh
31. Farmgal
(101 Comments) | December 12th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
someone should make it a rule that every Mp should have some sort of degree….no wonder they are behaving like little nursery kids.
32. Open Blog: KenyaUnlimited » Kenyan Sphere Blog hopping
(No Comments) | December 12th, 2005 at 7:35 pm
[...] M takes a story book approach to the cabinet lineup, complete with puss in boots, cinderella and the dwarves… [...]
33. Brother Jero (BJ)
(12 Comments) | December 12th, 2005 at 8:32 pm
Chapter 2 is unleashed, check it out. Asante sana…
34. Farmgal
(101 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 3:05 am
you dont say,he called us chicken shit! yenyewe I have no clue as to what can be done.
et al am trying to make it to groupie status …whats on offer Mr M just M? For top groupie I mean.
35. Dusty
(19 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 9:27 am
@ Farmgal
Yep, good old Kibaki called us chicken shit. Gotta believe it, I watched it on KTN news and was left agog. His actual words were something like "… hawa ni pumbavu kabisa…mavi ya kuku…"
Shame, shame, shame on Kibaki!
36. Morpheus
(8 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 10:33 am
SELECT * FROM cabinet WHERE clue > 0;
- returned 0 results
SQL: >
SELECT MAX (IQ) FROM parliament WHERE clue > 0;
SQL: > (null)
37. Ni2
(108 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 10:53 am
@Morpheus
LOL! Nicely put!
@M
Looks like the president doesnt really care much about the people and what they think
38. brainz
(52 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 11:43 am
PEOPLE Its only a few more months before we get these clowns off. I advice we best get rid of all these punks starting with the wazees out first. we need new ideas and young blood running this govt.
I nominate M for president.
Who’s seconding.
nice to know comments r being tracked. Had i known earlier i would have made more comments. I am happy being a back bencher.
39. Ni2
(108 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 2:48 pm
@Brainz
No ways! If M becomes presi he will relegate me to be the country mascot. Being a national symbol like that really isnt what I had in mind.
What we need to do on a serious note is get that new constitution out. Then we can really control those jokers! I believe there was a clause (that the MP’s removed) about MP’s getting sacked if they dont deliver.
The constitution is the way to get these guys back on track. At the moment they are all doing what they love (politicking) and they are still enjoying their fat salaries (yet they havent done much on the ground for their so called ‘constituents’)
40. Manamsim
(4 Comments) | December 13th, 2005 at 2:49 pm
Orezo has a right to craft a losing team. It is said that when God is determined to remove a king he hardens his heart. Let him ajienjoy until he finds himself in the opposition once more.
41. myconcern
(1 Comments) | December 22nd, 2005 at 11:27 am
kibaki’s an ass!…he sacked NSSF’s MD just coz he was an orange fela.the earlier this old geezers were consigned to the dustbin called political oblivion ,the better.they’re way past their expiry dates.
42. aalli
(1 Comments) | January 24th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
From unbwogable to unvotable.. what a let down kibaki has been!
shame on this government.
43. Fat Mwangi
(2 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:13 pm
forgot one though - queen B: Martha Wamugunda
44. lameck
(1 Comments) | December 28th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
YOU ARE JUST -VE,COME ON MAN ARE YOU NOT A KENYAN>ULIKUWA UNATAKA NANI AWEKWE? TELL ME ANY OF THE BELOW.
andrew ligale?(kibakis age mate,)_
Jakoyo MIDIWO?
REUBEN NDOLO?(very clever fool)
Norman nyaga?
Mudavadi?(not in parliament for your info)
RAILA(THE BICKERING ONE,HOW MANY ROADS DONE IN HIS TIME @ROADS MINISTRY?)
F**************** OFF!
45. Jenny
(1 Comments) | January 9th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
y al left out our main man, bwafoli
46. sumant
(1 Comments) | November 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
I am really pleased to go through the post; it has really caught my attention. And thank you very much for the post.