46

Grimm’s Cabinet Lineup

Posted December 8th, 2005 in Politics by M

The Brothers Grimm after an intensely nerve wracking two week wait have finally released the newest cabinet lineup of one of the greatest fairy tales of all, the Kenyan Cabinet.

It is hoped that all and sundry will find the changes entertaining

Oldilocks

Mwai Kibaki (Never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity)

The Three (Very Old) Fossilized Bears

– David Mwiraria
– John Michuki
– Njenga Karume

Puss In Boots

Lucy Kibaki

Cinderella (Several Face lifts later, Foot size 18)

Njeru Ndwiga

The Seven Annoyingly Enthusiastic Dwarves

– Moody
– Kiunjuri aka Sleepy (on certain streets)
– Mirugi
– Kituyi
– Saitoti
– Ali (Mwakwere) aka Goofy
– Daudi (Mwenje)

The Billy Goats Gruff (Proof silence is golden)

– Kiraitu Murungi
– Morris Dzoro
– Amos Kimunya

The Big Bad Wolf (Bores prey to death)

Musikari Kombo

Red Riding Hood (Always smiling at nothing)

Raphael Tuju

The Emperor (sans clothes, IQ, etc)

Maina Kamanda

John Legend – Ordinary People
 

  • Ni2

    LOL!

    Hahaha ati Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Big bad wolf!!!

    Nicely put.

    After 2 weeks of blessed silence…

    The drama begins…

    Poor Kenyans! What did we do to deserve this?
  • mruhya

    hehehe!

    The famous quote about a certain personality who "never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity" comes to mind. Personally I’m very disappointed. The only outstanding thing in that announcement was the preceding speech which had me going for a while. but just as my hopes had been raised slightly, the dude had just to bring em all crashing down.

    Kiraitu Murungi is the energy minister? The only energy he knows is probably Dextrosol and Lucozade Boost! There’s no change, just like i predicted. Same bullshyit musical chairs. It’s even a travesty to call it a new look cabinet
  • mruhya

    PS. I’ve only made 14 comments?!

    Worry not, still tweaking one or two things
  • http://magaidi.com/diary magaidi

    Kibaki is either incredibly stupid or incredibly smart.

    I cast my lot firmly with the former. With one stroke he has alienated everyone apart from his gofling buddies and fellow prehistoric mummies. I’d hate to be in his shoes! Now who takes him seriously?
  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    If there was Kenya Force One type of plane and all the cabinet ministers (elected and de-selected) were in it, and it crashed, does it mean Kenya would be leaderless as we seem to be recycling the same old, over (under) used fossils and mummies (undead)?

    Those useless inebriated garden gnomes should all bungy jump off a 100 foot cliff with 101 foot chord
  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    Just wanted to say that I am proud of my second place groupie status.. What do I get? ;)

    >:) Why i thought it was clear?!
  • http://guessaurus.com Guess

    (Ok, this is stalking I realise, but I had to hit forty)

    Shame on you! Bad girl!

    Yes :)

  • Msanii_xl

    The Big Bad Wolf (Bores prey to death)

    Musikari Kombo

    …..lol…funny funny.

    hey how come I only have one comment? EVER? i demand a recount

    Working on it … you probably changed the email address you comment with but am definitely looking into it
  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    You my dear, are just a treasure. Who else would put it so succintly. I want a Chicken Licken in there BTW.

    @G
    LOL you little hussy!

    Who else indeed? Na ninasikia bei ya stamps za email zimeshuka huko west coast for christmas. Take advantage

  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com/ Shiro

    Puss in boots forever, i am disapointed by the old man

    He waited all of two weeks for that? Shyit by any other name will smell just as foul
  • http://haidhuru.blogsome.com Mutumia

    so are you saying that Njeru Ndwiga is actually an ugly sista who can’t wear the slipper??? LOL— good list!

    With a fondness for tax waivers :)
  • TeeJ

    Njenga Karume….I mean kamon, Oldilocks is playing. This dude has been in parliament since Lord knows when. Can he even write anymore? But with 500K he can find someone to do it for him. All he has to keep pracoing is his signature.

    And why is he letting this peeps that are quiting within a day feel hot for him. Si he just appoints new p’ple. kwani?

    New people from where? Some of the appointed people are court jetsters as it is! How on earth does MAINA KAMANDA articulate government policy and sit in cabinet meetings? Outrageous!
  • Ni2

    @Teej

    Thing is it was meant to be a coalition party. NARC won the election not DP. So now that people are quitting left right and center where is he going to get these new guys from?

    Besides it took him 2 weeks to come up with this list. It shall take longer for him to come up with another list to replace the guys who are quitting. (And the new appointees might just quit again :-))

    We’re going to get a DP cabinet staffed by golfing buddies and old friends, completely out of touch with the people on the ground. Can you sing ‘yote yawezekana’?
  • http://livejournal.com/users/mlevi mlevi

    bored to tears by all this politiking.
    just wanted to see how many or rather how few comments i got…

    Minus 100 for that!!!
  • http://prousette.blogspot.com Prousette

    I wept in disappointment as I watched the New Look cabinet roll off the press either "new" changed meaning at 7.59 pm EAT or I missed the whole boat what makes me smile is that people actually rejected the posts.

    Clearly the word ‘new’ means something else in Kenya. It’s like a guy moving two steps to the left and then claiming he’s someone else!

    I totally mistrust politicians but never in my limited Moi era experience did anybody ever reject any favor bestowed on them by a sitting president.
    Fond memories of Kamotho and "the kiatu- that- shall -fit -come what- may" by reddykulas
    Shall we wait and see???

  • chepkemboi

    LOL @ puss in boots, you’ll get me fired, thinker.

    Well, some job openings have just opened up :)

    And, I have nothing to say about the new line-up, nothing at all. Finally, as we say in kinandi, this whole thing has ‘caught my mouth’

    =))
  • Ni2

    @ mlevi
    Your not alone when it comes to being fed up with these guys. As much as I was least concerned with Oldilocks when he was making his cabinet announcement I was pleasently surprised when the said appointees rejected their posts. Its as Prousette said these things never happened before!

    @Prousette
    It would have been suicide for someone to reject a seat. Lets not forget that back in the day we had torture chambers and followed with detention so ukileta kichwa you shall be deal with according.

    @Chepkemboi
    >>"as we say in kinandi, this whole thing has ‘caught my >>mouth’"

    hahaha very appropriate! I was in the same state jana listening to the news trickling in from the street…

    @M

    Dont even start saying that Moi should come back! (Putting words in your mouth??:-? ) And no we dont need another Moi either!

    If I had my way all politicans would be in a cave on the highest peak of Mt Kenya clad only in handkerchiefs
  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com/ Shiro

    Wait a bit, did Musikari Kombo just say he thought he wanted to be VP? I was lost but now i am found. I say Kibs i am ready to be an assistant of an assistant of an assistant Minister.
    WTF, it is all about political musical chairs, CABINET POSTS upfor Grabs…..They just lost their taste,.UUI Kiunjuri doesn’t want to share an assistant minister post. SELFISH, UNDESERVING BASTARDS….
    Poor old man, he might just collapse!

    Kibaki is hype and hot air rolled into a convenient package. Ati new look cabinet?! Upuss!!!
  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    I think the Baks should retire and go farm vanilla. Every now and then Puss in boots (LMAO you’re such a nut!! Or maybe two ;-)) can make vanilla cookies which they’ll eat as they watch the sun go down over the Nyeri hills and reminisce over the good old days!! Ha that dude is f.r.i.e..d!

    Kibaki’s the type of chap who watches sunset in the East with puzzlement in his face

    Ps/ Nimeamua Kalembe Ndile ni Chicken Licken. I know its not a Grimm tale but it so fits him.

    Chicken Licken ™ it is!
  • http://kohcohshaven.blogspot.com Ms K

    Did you hear this one:

    KWS reporting mass animal migration from Kenya to Tanzania. Experts say migration a protest against appointment of Kalembe Ndile as ass minister for wildlife.

    I heard! In fact the monkeys were particularly incensed!
  • Dusty

    The more things change, the more the stay the same…

    Kibaki is now useful for only one thing: the subject of a case study on how NOT to lead a country.

    And comedy too! Have you seen the guy trying to hit a golf ball? Tom & Jerry kando
  • http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

    Kenyan politics are becoming a soap opera, people getting appointed ..refusing the jobs offered them, then turning up to be sworn in…..who knows what will happen next!

    Kibaki might just fire himself in protest

    The other thing akina Raila and co calling for snap elections….kwani Kenyans have nothing better to do with their time?
    Why are Kenyan politic filled with wrangles about leadership and positions held? This politicians forget why they are elected in the first place……I think someone needs to give them a job discription before taking office. arrrg frurations!

    Problem is that some of them can barely read and write and are assistant ministers and full ministers!
  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    whether he had actually included ODM or not, they still would have been a bunch of overpaid clowns with air in their head

    They’re an elephant short of being a full circus, the nitwits!
  • http://www.reloadedexperience.blogspot.com Poi

    I gat too much love for red riding hood why? I dunno, love the analysis and oh those names crazy,crazy

    He he! It must be the red bonnet :)

    Have a good weekend…

    Ditto
  • johnny

    Now we can see how Protecting a tribal seat realy works. just as Raila said "Kibaki’s Government is too small for him to destroy, kiraitu and muchuki will destroy it from within" and this is what we are seeing know.

    M, who doesnt want to be a minister? almost all. therefore rejecting such an offer means that the one offering is in deep shit, of unsound mind, and under influence of veryintoxicants.

    Poor Kenyans!
  • http://prousette.blogspot.com Prousette

    The urge to join the protesting animals to Tanzania keeps getting stonger by the day. If only I could get the hang of that Swa of naomba…

    Nothing can be worse than the fools we suffer here!

  • Pingback: Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Kenyan Sphere Blog hopping

  • http://psykadeelia.blogspot.com Luna

    my gosh, the Lucy as Puss in Boots, how exact…hahahahhahah! great blog entry!

    :D
  • eclipse

    Well the only positive thing about the fosils in govt is that soon they will be 6 feet under and be reincarnated as oil to fuel our jikos

    kibaki is as wise a a sheep!

    At least sheep have the sense to come into the shad when it’s raining

    kiunjuri aka sleepy..alil below the belt (literally) dont u think :-)

    >:)
  • http://nakeel.blogspot.com nakeel

    With all due respect first u made this a good laugh.. Then as President as he is should just pave way for better pplke now coz he is just taking Over 30 MILLION pple for a ride and a Kalungu on top.. What the hell will Maina Kamanda talk to one Sepp Blatter not mentioning the Malcom Speed… What does he know?/

    Just picture Maina Kamanda meeting with Condolleezza Rice or Jack Straw! I’m already blushing at the thought of that nitwit trying to have an intelligent conversation!

    Michuki was working before even my mother thought of giving birth to me… this is tooo muchh

  • http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

    someone should make it a rule that every Mp should have some sort of degree….no wonder they are behaving like little nursery kids.

    Fat lot of good that will help us! Kibaki has a degree and has even lectured and has the temerity to call us pumbavus and chicken shit beacuse we don’t agree with him!

  • Pingback: Open Blog: KenyaUnlimited » Kenyan Sphere Blog hopping

  • http://brotherjero.blogspot.com/ Brother Jero (BJ)

    Chapter 2 is unleashed, check it out. Asante sana…

  • http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

    you dont say,he called us chicken shit! yenyewe I have no clue as to what can be done.

    et al am trying to make it to groupie status …whats on offer Mr M just M? For top groupie I mean.

    Turns out you’re very much a groupie! Just finished updating the statitics with the older comments imported from blogger :) Benefits will be unveiled shortly :)
  • Dusty

    @ Farmgal
    Yep, good old Kibaki called us chicken shit. Gotta believe it, I watched it on KTN news and was left agog. His actual words were something like "… hawa ni pumbavu kabisa…mavi ya kuku…"
    Shame, shame, shame on Kibaki!

    What exactly do you do when your president calls you an idiot and chicken shit?
  • http://cybarn.tripod.com/ Morpheus

    SELECT * FROM cabinet WHERE clue > 0;

    - returned 0 results


    SQL: >
    SELECT MAX (IQ) FROM parliament WHERE clue > 0;

    SQL: > (null)

  • Ni2

    @Morpheus

    LOL! Nicely put!

    @M
    Looks like the president doesnt really care much about the people and what they think

  • http://bilazWellidontwishtodiscloseatthemoment brainz

    PEOPLE Its only a few more months before we get these clowns off. I advice we best get rid of all these punks starting with the wazees out first. we need new ideas and young blood running this govt.

    Only problem is that Kenyans have a notoriously short memory! I hope we can stay this annoyed until 2007

    I nominate M for president.

    Who’s seconding.

    Me? The first thing my administration will do is make ice cream the national dish!

    nice to know comments r being tracked. Had i known earlier i would have made more comments. I am happy being a back bencher.

  • Ni2

    @Brainz

    No ways! If M becomes presi he will relegate me to be the country mascot. Being a national symbol like that really isnt what I had in mind.

    You have my utmost confidence that you will carry out your duties above and beyond!

    What we need to do on a serious note is get that new constitution out. Then we can really control those jokers! I believe there was a clause (that the MP’s removed) about MP’s getting sacked if they dont deliver.

    That was the first thing the nitwits removed! That clause MUST be returned

    The constitution is the way to get these guys back on track. At the moment they are all doing what they love (politicking) and they are still enjoying their fat salaries (yet they havent done much on the ground for their so called ‘constituents’)

  • http://manamsim.blogspot.com Manamsim

    Orezo has a right to craft a losing team. It is said that when God is determined to remove a king he hardens his heart. Let him ajienjoy until he finds himself in the opposition once more.

    If his intent is to craft a losing team then he has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams!
  • http://myblogs.blogspot.com myconcern

    kibaki’s an ass!…he sacked NSSF’s MD just coz he was an orange fela.the earlier this old geezers were consigned to the dustbin called political oblivion ,the better.they’re way past their expiry dates.

  • aalli

    From unbwogable to unvotable.. what a let down kibaki has been!

    shame on this government.

  • Fat Mwangi

    forgot one though – queen B: Martha Wamugunda

  • lameck

    YOU ARE JUST -VE,COME ON MAN ARE YOU NOT A KENYAN>ULIKUWA UNATAKA NANI AWEKWE? TELL ME ANY OF THE BELOW.

    I assure you my feathered friend I am very much of a Kenyan

    andrew ligale?(kibakis age mate,)_
    Jakoyo MIDIWO?
    REUBEN NDOLO?(very clever fool)
    Norman nyaga?
    Mudavadi?(not in parliament for your info)
    RAILA(THE BICKERING ONE,HOW MANY ROADS DONE IN HIS TIME @ROADS MINISTRY?)

    And how many has Nyachae done?

    F**************** OFF!

    Likewise, I’m sure!
  • http://n/a Jenny

    y al left out our main man, bwafoli

  • http://www.esperanzacorporate.com sumant

    I am really pleased to go through the post; it has really caught my attention. And thank you very much for the post.

Search

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

History

December 2005
M T W T F S S
« Nov   Jan »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Archives

Categories

More Blogs