Two dozen and then some years ago, on this day, unto us a child was born.

(M)e :)

Yes sir, I am celebrating yet another year on God’s green earth.

Age

It occurs to me that finally age has caught up with me and i am no longer part of the youth (but then again next to Mwai Kibaki, Njenga Karume and the other fossils around here, Methuselah himself would be considered a small boy). Certain revelations have triggered this epiphany

• I know at least 3 Khans – Genghis Khan, Kublai Khan, Chaka Khan. The only one my younger brothers know is Aga Khan
• I know the original Nero had nothing to do with CDs. As a matter of fact, he’s the one who brought a whole new dimension to this burning ROMe thing
• I can tell within the first few notes of popular songs which ones have been remade and what was sampled and who did it
• I turned the air around me blue for miles with rich vocabulary when NTV replaced TCM movies at night with MTV Base. It is my considered opinion that this was a colossal step back I’m still smarting about it.
• I wear jeans that actually fit me
• I wear them in such a fashion that you cannot tell what colour of inner thingies I’m wearing — which is to say I pull them on completely.
• Basketball tops leave me unmoved and unimpressed
• Grown men with jewels oozing from every pore are a source of riotous amusement to me
• Given a choice between gold and silver — silver all the way

Presents

Many people get insulted when they get money for their birthdays. I am pleased to report that I am not one of these people. Euros and dollars in particular are most welcome.

Or you could just cut to the chase and get a brother this

Other perfectly acceptable gifts are:

• Jumping out of a cake (Chromosomes XY need NOT apply)
• White Chocolate
• Drawing and quartering Sponsoring a trip for every last politician in Kenya into the North Pole, and surreptitiously extracting all their compasses when they get there
• Tom & Jerry on DVD
• Charlie Chaplin on DVD
• SouthPark on DVD

Changes

There has been some changes in the women in my life. I have decided to get another one. Gathoni has been a friend, ally and confidante for many years but of late she has gone blind and can no longer do the things that made her what she is. I discussed it with her and we both agreed that it was for the best that I bring another woman home.

Clarice is lighter than Gathoni, but certainly bigger, and has more curves, something I have never minded. I know this because I carried her over the threshold last night. They met and from what I can see, they get along like a house on fire. Yes, Gathoni is blind but can still do many of the things that made her indispensable.

Gathoni, so smooth, so fresh, so clean

 
Clarice, so quick, so nimble

Both of them however know that I have had a crush for quite some time on Siobhan. Problem is she’s so out of my league I’m practically a non starter. However if i ever got a shot at that silky smooth skin I’d be on her like sweat on Chris Murungaru

Siobhan, so WHOA!! Would you just look at the size of that … [Reserved for use by management]

Gwen Stefani – Luxurious