tHiNkEr’S rOoM

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the first thing I saw when I opened my inbox this morning, and I’m irritated enough to postpone today’s post, Cabinet Tales IV.

Last week I received a link to an blog that posted user contributions. When I opened this link I saw this:

My memory may not be the best, but I racked it and it informed me that the columnist’s thought processes were remarkably like my own, so much so that he managed to mirror the thoughts I expressed in the same post

Well, I followed it up with the owner of the blog who was appalled and promptly deleted the post. And so I thought the matter was at rest until I received the same thing in my email as a forward, “By Victor Komanyo”.

So to cut a long story short, and save me from unnecessary emails:

1) I am NOT Victor Komanyo
2) I’m amazed that Victor Komanyo would think that he can get away with this kind of thing in this day and age
3) If you know him, or better yet if you are him, raise your right hand in the air and smack your fat head
4) The next time you try this kind of thing, Victor, you might want to at least reorder the paragraphs, change the wording, etc..

Kelis - Good Stuff

I’ve been suffering from a very acute flu for the past few weeks. Each and every joint I had ached as if it was getting good money to do so. My nose decided that it was equally as capable as my feet of undertaking the task of running. My head decided to notify me by throbbing painfully after every heartbeat, without a doubt under the impression anything the heart could do it could do as well.

This however did not stop me from more or less attempting to get around to my various duties, and, naturally, getting involved in a very heated debate.

This past few months have seen an unusual influx of Kenyans in the diaspora from the various countries and counties that they diaspora in. Following is a sample 2 week schedule of one such cowboy

Day 1
Arrive in the country at some ungodly hour of the night and proceed to call up everyone you know to inform you are around

Day 2
Find bearings. Get used to :
- Driving on the left
- Ever changing geography of Nairobi
- largely ignored highway code

Day 3
Meet the family. Hug everyone. Give away the gifts that were limited by (in descending order)
a) Budget
b) Airline personnel
c) Customs personnel

Day 4
Go to see the grand folks in shags

Day 4
Back in town, meet the friends and chart out a solid 10 days of enjoyment

Day 5 - Day 10
Attempt to visit all the discotheques, clubs, bars, coffee houses, movie halls and restaurants in and around Nairobi

Day 11 - Day 14
Go to coast

Day 15
Leave town in a hurry, carrying nothing more than an amazing hangover and pleasant memories

Good times, good times. And us locally based sons and daughters of our parents also attempt to stuff as much fun as possible into the remainder of the year. In this haste we generally forget that the December salary is actually supposed to be spent in January, but that is for another day.

But I’ve digressed enough. A couple of days ago I was having coffee and throat lozenges with a conglomeration of Kenyan Tourists (KTs ™ ) and Kenyan Roots(KRs™ ) until the discussion took an interesting turn.

The discussion as usual swiftly swiveled into politics and the state of affairs of Kenya. Nothing can neatly divide the diaspora from the locals better than this topic.

(more…)

Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Personally, it is with intense relief that the holiday season is behind us. I for one am beginning to side more and more with Ebenezer Scrooge when it comes to sentiments about Christmas, or at least what we have now masquerading as Christmas.

It is my considered opinion that the contemporary interpretation of Christmas is a travesty of almost Bullshitic proportions.

• Rather than Jesus being the pivot point of Christmas, it is some fat, bearded, red suited man, a product of the Coca Cola company, whose clarion call, an irritating “Ho Ho Ho!” would get him in serious trouble among the young upwardly mobile females of today.
• Santa somehow delivers gifts in the impossibly small window between the night of the 24th and the morning of the 25th, and his preferred mode of delivery is the chimney. Conveniently, houses all over the word have chimneys that can accommodate his considerable girth. No mention is made of houses that do not possess chimneys.
• Santa is wont to drink coke
• Children who have the misfortune of living in flats are also in a quandry of how to receive their presents.
• Santa’s preferred mode of transportation is a sleigh drawn by a dozen or so reindeer, one of whom has a red nose. This sleigh (and reindeer) defy gravity (it flies through the air with the greatest of ease) and physics (toys for the 2 billion odd children can fit on said sleigh)
• Christmas is indeed a time for giving. Presents. If you have not spent obscene amounts of money buying gifts for ungrateful cretins, then you do not possess a mysterious spirit called the “Christmas Spirit”.
• At about this time companies and coporates suddenly realize that the poor might actually need a square meal on occasion, and fall over themselves to deliver consignments of biscuits, sweets, chocolates and sodas to bewildered orphans who smell the reporters, cameras and TV crews long before the nutritious and filling sweets and biscuits, that are expected to fill bellies and give nutrition until the same time next year.
• Rather than charity, faith, hope and sacrifice, Christmas has become a time for sloth, greed, extravagance, thoughtlessness and wastage.

AOB

Someone amazing gave me an 30GB iPod Video for Christmas (Thank you M ). I’m sure the look on my face when I opened the wrapping was priceless.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Martha

She and Clarice get along like a house on fire. Isn’t it lovely when all the women in your life get along?

PIC OF THE DAY

Mwai Kibaki loosens his tie in preparation for skinny dipping at the coast

Mashifta - Mfalme