Bah Hambug!

Posted January 4th, 2006 in Reflections by M

Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Personally, it is with intense relief that the holiday season is behind us. I for one am beginning to side more and more with Ebenezer Scrooge when it comes to sentiments about Christmas, or at least what we have now masquerading as Christmas.

It is my considered opinion that the contemporary interpretation of Christmas is a travesty of almost Bullshitic proportions.

Rather than Jesus being the pivot point of Christmas, it is some fat, bearded, red suited man, a product of the Coca Cola company, whose clarion call, an irritating “Ho Ho Ho!” would get him in serious trouble among the young upwardly mobile females of today.
Santa somehow delivers gifts in the impossibly small window between the night of the 24th and the morning of the 25th, and his preferred mode of delivery is the chimney. Conveniently, houses all over the word have chimneys that can accommodate his considerable girth. No mention is made of houses that do not possess chimneys.
Santa is wont to drink coke
Children who have the misfortune of living in flats are also in a quandry of how to receive their presents.
Santa’s preferred mode of transportation is a sleigh drawn by a dozen or so reindeer, one of whom has a red nose. This sleigh (and reindeer) defy gravity (it flies through the air with the greatest of ease) and physics (toys for the 2 billion odd children can fit on said sleigh)
Christmas is indeed a time for giving. Presents. If you have not spent obscene amounts of money buying gifts for ungrateful cretins, then you do not possess a mysterious spirit called the “Christmas Spirit”.
At about this time companies and coporates suddenly realize that the poor might actually need a square meal on occasion, and fall over themselves to deliver consignments of biscuits, sweets, chocolates and sodas to bewildered orphans who smell the reporters, cameras and TV crews long before the nutritious and filling sweets and biscuits, that are expected to fill bellies and give nutrition until the same time next year.
Rather than charity, faith, hope and sacrifice, Christmas has become a time for sloth, greed, extravagance, thoughtlessness and wastage.

AOB

Someone amazing gave me an 30GB iPod Video for Christmas (Thank you M :x ). I’m sure the look on my face when I opened the wrapping was priceless.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Martha

Martha

She and Clarice get along like a house on fire. Isn’t it lovely when all the women in your life get along?

PIC OF THE DAY

Mwai Kibaki loosens his tie in preparation for skinny dipping at the coast

Mashifta – Mfalme

http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

mama mia am first will read this when I get off work later!
happy new year!

And a happy new year to you too!
http://www.gukira.blogspot.com Keguro

Why camp when it takes 45 seconds to read a blog entry? And, yes, I do read that fast.

‘Tis indeed a mysterl :D

Si,you hook me up with people who give generous presents? The last few years I’ve been given $1 candy bars by my very poor friends. I know it’s the thought that counts. But I wish they were more ambitious thinkers!

There are like 2 of these left in the world. I’m keeping mine and the other is on sabbatical from humanity
http://lehommenoir.blogspot.com Jay

St. Nick pisses me off no end. Can,t stand him even more when he takes on a chocolate hue and his beard looks a lot like cottonwool. Thankfully i’m of a non-violent predisposition. I just might have dispatched one of his irritating drunken kinsmen (i’m assuming he has kin who help him out, otherwise how does he manage to take on all complexions) i met at a christmas party 2 weeks ago back to the north pole by way of my steel toed boots to his rear end.

You should see a spaghetti thin Santa outside a local Kenchic inn, with his red suit, ill fitting plastic beard and black moccassins sans socks ringing a bell for all he’s worth enticing passers by to come in for a chicken meal!
Eclipse

first of all..HAPPY NEW YEAR! yes to all of u…as for xmas….if u had read my profile i said that i usually dont give…….

Ditto!

2nd du have to floss all ur goodies to us?

Well … yes :)

3rd xmas was like any other sunday with a holiday on monday…was camped at some joint under a certain cinema hall….eva heard of ile club ya ajabu?

Is it under a very dodgy cinem?

4th…kindly let me know of the route u take to and from home on ur way to work and the times if u dont mind….(PS:This info wont be used to try to dispossess u of a certain lady named Martha!)

:)) So you can mug me and take my salo, freshly paid from the petty cash drawer? Methinks NOT

You too!
Ms K

Now you’re just being MEAN!!!! I’ll get you for this!!

:)) My dear, we’re still tight like small ngothas

Ok, yeah I’m just a jealous cretin who didn’t get an iPod!

Paitence, patience ….
http://www.kenyanmusings.blogspot.com KM

LOL, very nice post. I know that Santa of kenchic! lmbao! he is so underfed..what a paradox. Those guys should seriously think of fattening him up first. He even stares at people that buy a kanguks there….menacingly! LOL…ati bila socks. You are mad!

The guy is so black at night you just see the beard and the santa suit and the ringing bell. First time i saw the dude i thought it was the Ghost Of Christmas past!

Who comes up with such ideas anyway? How does a Santa who is no way a fattie get past management?!
I was in nakumatt the other day and there was this scrawny ass Santa, who was next to the fake knee-knocked one who kids line up to dance with. I laughed soo hard, he was very unhappy with me (the anorexic one).

And how come you get ipod? I want! I want Thinker…I want!

I’ve been canvassing actively for an iPod since 2004 :)

Psst, and I read from Nick that you got Curly kit! LOL. Are you those 80′s now where they would leave a greasy mark on the couch?

Nick should check for expiry dates under the leaves before he smokes them! =)) I have no such thing!
Msanii_XL

Looking for curly kit tips….

keep it greasy fam!

There’s an MP called Anthony Kimetto. That’s the chap to see for all things curly kit
Msanii_XL

Oops Happy New Year…

And one to you too!
Eclipse

oooh forgot to let you know of my new year resolution…..i cant decide between these two…..

…Not to make any more resolutions….
OR
………..get rich or die trying……………..

please HELP!!!!!!

Resolve for continuity — ‘my 2006 will be exactly like my 2005′
http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

enjoy Martha and the rest of the women in your life.
Glad and envious that someone thought of you like that.

Oh I intend to :)

My house has a chimney but santa decided not to pass by this year lol

You should try greasing the chimney next year …

God Bless you some more.

And you too!
http://haidhuru.blogsome.com Mutumia

I had a remark about Santa lakini I’m floored by the Jerry curl/ curly kit *sing along M. Hair Glo curl activator, curl activator* thing.

Jayzuz. I have to re-think my entire world.

Tee hee.

Curly kit!

Don’t believe everything you read!
http://brotherjero.blogspot.com/ Brother Jero (BJ)

I don’t mind the whole Santa thing, all we need to do is perhaps do a better job at marketing CHRIST’S birthday, hows that for a start. Kids would not have a problem with knowing its the day that JESUS was born BUT with the same breath many find SANTA a fascinating story, matter of fact it creates a lot of excitement and helps bring in the christmas spirit. Kids pictures with SANTA are priceless and especially when they realise as they grow up that SANTA does not actually exist.

As for your IPOD, way to go perhaps we could swop playlists.

Happy New Year bro.

Happy new year to you too!
Njoro

A Prosperous 2006 to you, sir!

And one right back at ya!
ciiku

Happy New Year! Eh, btw, what happened to the promised post where you would be answering all the questions we posed to you in an effort to getting to know you better?

That will probably be the next post
Ni2

=)) Curly Kit =))

@Ciiku
I wanted to know why he doesnt cut his hair. But thats been answered already for me. Guy was growing his hair so that he could curl it!

@Eclipse
Happy New Year! You are a genius! (I have a plan–)

@M
Well well well! Martha is mighty fine. Clarice was even better! So when can I come for a viewing? I definately need to have a word with those two lovely ladies!

But will they want to have a word with you? =))

@Eclipse
I will keep you posted… ;-)

@Everyone Else
Happy New Year People!

Ohhh and on the Santa thing, M… What you cozing for? Kwani when you were a kid you used to be told that Santa brings you gifts??? When I was growing up I knew santa was just some excuse AND MOST IMPORTANTLY was something that existed on TV and for “european/american” kids. So really why waste you breathe over wondering about these things ati kids in flats etc etc… really who cares? :-D

Just pointing out our warped (and foolish) ideas of the whole day

And for poor kids… they are only hungry in dec besides they get enough food in dec to last them the whole year.

And Kibaki didnt let me down in Dec. Man said that the people starving in mandera (those sides) should have just crossed over the border and bought food from Somalia… yaani they are just wapumbavu!
Shiroh

Martha is Guess, am i right Mr. Happy New Year

Well …. Happy new year :D
http://manamsim.blogspot.com Manamsim

yeah christmas lost its meaning long time ago or is it us who have lost the meaning? If Jesus was here physically (of course he is here nevertheless) could have approved of all that we do during his birthday?

He’d probably have a heart attack if he came back
http://prousette.blogspot.com Prousette

Heppy New year M and everyone.

Ohmigod… you have a curly kit????? or is it Santa who has one at the other end of the story I got lost I shall have to read it again.

=)) Me? A curly kit? Please!

I never believed in Santa Claus and his reindeer it must be a story like the gollywogs and all. So I suffer less disappointment when no one gets me a gift through the chimney, actually had to block it as funny animals were getting in though

Beware of all the women in your life getting along they might just decide to do away with you…

Would they?
M

:)) I do not, have not and do not intend to posess a curly kit, or to curl anything on my person! My long haired, vaguely unkempt look is quite enough for me!
Ni2

>> My long haired

Now THAT’s an understatement.

C’mon atleast let me look at them then. I promise not to touch! :-D 30GB ipod (just the thought itself has me =P~ ing)

But will they let you touch them is the question … :D
http://www.ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

happy new year thinker!

Happy new year to you too!

congrats on the ipod – good for you!
i’ve seen various rumours flying around the blogosphere. and then now the name of the ipod…. hmmm?!?!

Hmmm indeed!

(nick really needs to toboa!!)
http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

Happy New Year everyone.

About Santa, the less said about that thunder-stealing, pot-bellied phantasm, the better. If it wasn’t for the name Christmas, we’d have a hard time remembering that we’re celebrating Christ’s birthday, after all… I received ZILCH for Christmas, and this was one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. So don’t worry, out there!

@Keguro “ambitious thinkers” LOL!

@All Let me dispossess everyone of the ridiculous notion that M grew his hair to curl it. There aren’t enough rollers this side of Pluto to curl his hair! I too anxiously await the blog with an explanation… Let’s have it, let’s have it.

Good things come to those who wait
eclipse

30GB ipod…..i really want to know your itenerary and routes please….

:)) Hiyo utangoja! Can’t go through life looking over my shoulder for peeps who want to jack Martha

@Ni2…can u help with the above?

@M…curly kit…..kwani u r dider drogba’s couzin?

@ciiku…can u answer some qns i mite have…trying o get to know u betta
http://brotherjero.blogspot.com/ Brother Jero (BJ)

Now I know what to get you on your birthday, M.

Another Shower cap!!!! lol

Clinton tried to deny Lewinsky and failed, so spare us.

There are none so blind …

Given that you are a trend setter in the blog world we might all grow our hairs & whaash them..
http://spideyfun.blogspot.com Nick

Weh kijana embrace the truth like u have embraced the activator! Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of…u make it look good!

:)) Clown! And how did you decide I had a curly kit despite the kofia I had on?

@Mutumia,Prou,KMusings,NI2,Msanii…

Now, Now, Now how dare u get that as a present! Damn what did u do to deserve that kinda love: ENVY is ME! I’d carry that gift around and show the world that I am loved!

:D

If Shiroh is right, SHE will see in my next post considering what we got (…. biting knuckles swearing haki ya nyanya)
http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

If am going to grease any chimney then shall I expect martha’s under my christmas tree at the end of 2006!

Can I beg

You can :)

Please do your version of the meet up!

Hmm … Nick should beware the fury of a patient man … i’m very tempted to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war … >:)
http://farmgal.wordpress.com Farmgal

that should have been Martha’s relative (read brothers)
Ni2

@Eclipse
Im working on it. Will keep you posted!

@Nick
Im sorry lakini you have lost me… But please expand on the curl kit. Havent seen M deny something so strongly… there must be some truth to this… What let you to believe it was a curl kit he was hiding? Im guess it must that been a very greasy hat he had on :-D (If his lips were greasy as well that would have explained the grease on the hat… but I digress)
Shiroh

I can solemnly swear M has no curly kit, the same way i know Guess got him the ipod.
Nick wacha mchezo,you asked for it.
Shiroh

If Shiroh is right, SHE will see in my next post considering what we got (…. biting knuckles swearing haki ya nyanya)

Small threats huh
Njoro

I am hearing rumours, M!
And now there’s a conspicuous absence from one feverish kiss-blowing groupie. I “Think(er)” you can “Guess” what I am alluding to. Or you don’t kiss and tell…..?

BTW M, if Nick persists, I have some dirt on him from Nyeri…. You see, he has a “reputation”…!

I would not be the least bit surprised. Does it involve poultry and events in the night?
http://spideyfun.blogspot.com Nick

spill away njoro…
but let it be known Thinker was not in a Cap…Hat…or Kofia…he was stylin

Now who needs contacts!
http://www.reloadedexperience.blogspot.com Poi

Happy New Year M, sorry I’m this late(and please don’t tell me to consider the wishes as next year’s-in-advance lol

Since you asked so well I won’t :)

Hi Martha, well if you daddy don’t care we can make u a play date with Sid :)

Who’s Sid?
http://nakeel.blogspot.com nakeel

Happy New Year M:
Who was that generous to give you a Martha for Xmass? Can keep watch over her when u are going for those trips coz i know it wont look nice to carry her all over.. am I winning?

But that would be telling, wouldn’t it ;)
eclipse

after a whole weekend all i can still think of is somethings that has 30 in its description….anyone know M’s daily work route????

Cease and desist!
mruhya

I’ll take it as an aspect of style the irony in this post. The ranting on the commercializtion of krisi and the “Christmas Spirit” and then in the same breath flossing your Christmas present!!

:D

btw have a blessed 2006.

It’s turning out to be excellent so far!
http://mochalicious13blogspot.com Mocha!

Happy New Year Thinker!

Congrats on your iPod. I wanted one as well lakini I applied the “if you want it done properly, do it yourself” rule hapa and got me a desktop version. So technically, 3/4 of my wishlist in my blog has been fulfilled…..TIHIHIHI.

:)

On that note, kweli Chistmas has been commercialised. Esp. huku ng’ambo. Mingi peeps dont even jua the real meaning behind it all. For example, in the mall where I live, the nativity stand was ndogo compared to santa’s groto and the parasol they had there for the festivities. *TSK* *TSK* *TSK* Makes me homesick coz it is when you go to church as a family and spend time celebrating the birth of Christ.

Anywhoo, glad it is all over……or is it. Easter egg anyone?

yes please!
http://www.kidada.blogspot.com k.i.d.a.d.a

Oh my goodness! M aka Thinker aka Mheshimiwa, got himself a lady Martha already? ;) ;) You You You!!

Me, me me :)

I’m jealous of you..I love IT…an iPod is just the mother of all mothers!! Damn…have your people call my people…hook me up!! :D

What can I do to become groupie top ten on your list?? I can’t keep up with dem groupies…how about a non-groupie list huh?? I know I’ll top it.

Money won’t hurt…
http://mochalicious13blogspot.com Mocha!

wewe thinker…what i meant was, peeps for get why we celebrate Easter.

Manzee shops are already stocking up the shelves with ‘em eggs.

not a happy ‘bunny’ (no pun intended) !
http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

Yes christmas has indeed been turned commercial and woe unto you if you have no money to partake in the christmas spirit!
Here they dont waste time, valentine’s campaigns have already began!
Pingback: Hoyee Kenya! - tHiNkEr’S rOoM

M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Dec				Feb »
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30	31

Bah Hambug!

Search

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

History

Archives

Categories

More Blogs