Happy New Year and all that jazz.
Personally, it is with intense relief that the holiday season is behind us. I for one am beginning to side more and more with Ebenezer Scrooge when it comes to sentiments about Christmas, or at least what we have now masquerading as Christmas.
It is my considered opinion that the contemporary interpretation of Christmas is a travesty of almost Bullshitic proportions.
- Rather than Jesus being the pivot point of Christmas, it is some fat, bearded, red suited man, a product of the Coca Cola company, whose clarion call, an irritating “Ho Ho Ho!” would get him in serious trouble among the young upwardly mobile females of today.
- Santa somehow delivers gifts in the impossibly small window between the night of the 24th and the morning of the 25th, and his preferred mode of delivery is the chimney. Conveniently, houses all over the word have chimneys that can accommodate his considerable girth. No mention is made of houses that do not possess chimneys.
- Santa is wont to drink coke
- Children who have the misfortune of living in flats are also in a quandry of how to receive their presents.
- Santa’s preferred mode of transportation is a sleigh drawn by a dozen or so reindeer, one of whom has a red nose. This sleigh (and reindeer) defy gravity (it flies through the air with the greatest of ease) and physics (toys for the 2 billion odd children can fit on said sleigh)
- Christmas is indeed a time for giving. Presents. If you have not spent obscene amounts of money buying gifts for ungrateful cretins, then you do not possess a mysterious spirit called the “Christmas Spirit”.
- At about this time companies and coporates suddenly realize that the poor might actually need a square meal on occasion, and fall over themselves to deliver consignments of biscuits, sweets, chocolates and sodas to bewildered orphans who smell the reporters, cameras and TV crews long before the nutritious and filling sweets and biscuits, that are expected to fill bellies and give nutrition until the same time next year.
- Rather than charity, faith, hope and sacrifice, Christmas has become a time for sloth, greed, extravagance, thoughtlessness and wastage.
Someone amazing gave me an 30GB iPod Video for Christmas (Thank you M :x ). I’m sure the look on my face when I opened the wrapping was priceless.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Martha
She and Clarice get along like a house on fire. Isn’t it lovely when all the women in your life get along?
PIC OF THE DAY
Mwai Kibaki loosens his tie in preparation for skinny dipping at the coast