Doggy Style
01
February
“Hounded by an ill wind” is an expression that comes to the mind of Kenyans after the events of the last two weeks.
Things have gone to the dogs when a kindly benefactor from New Zealand, out of the goodness of her heart and moved by the milk of human kindness decides to donate some dog food to the starving children of Rusinga.
Dogged by compassion, her initial thought was to donate dog biscuits, but on retrospect, upon realizing that the canines of the children are not quite like those of the average Doberman Pinscher, she decided to donate the raw ingredients instead. 4 tonnes worth.
Personally, I think it’s barking mad.
Kenyans can now wolf down the culinary delight of marinated leg of rat, a la Robinson Githae, with a side order of freshly imported dog biscuits, while they watch their Oompa Loompa Government bleat for money for food from the white leather interiors of the cars that cost hard working Kenyans one billion shillings of their sweat, all the while having their homes collapsing on them and having to be rescued by helping hands all the way from Tel-Aviv.
It’s something to howl about when while some fat cats are contemplating S-500, others are contemplating K-9.
AOB
Cabinet Tales IV is the very next post. I promise!
Ray Charles - Georgia
1. Shiroh
(130 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 12:55 pm
I’m competing for the first position in the groupie; i am here first.
2. sidaki
(51 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 12:58 pm
I say the bitch should eat some to show that it’s edible.
3. Wangu
(27 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:01 pm
I’m just wondering …
(i) how many MPs have offered to donate foodstuffs to the drought-stricken families in any part of Kenya in the recent past?
(ii) if there is any hope that one day, we will have the privilege of saying that they lead by example?
(iii) why this kindly lady didn’t just offer to donate the money she got from the 50 bags of dogfood so that it could be used to donate foodstuffs?
I do not intend to look the gift horse in the mouth, but would that have been too much to ask?
4. Guess
(122 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:08 pm
I’d say that idea takes the biscuit. But in a dog eat dog world, damn, the top dogs cant be bothered by the welfare of the underdogs.
M
(very impressed)
5. Shiroh
(130 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:21 pm
M i read some blog anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com about some movie where a jamaa was having an affair with a struggling actress. When the struggling actress got paged, he killed her. This is what the blogger said/commented
“Sometimes you need to kill people. Not rich people. But struggling actresses”.
i hope i don’t look like i am digressing, but that is the way i felt. MADHARAU X 40.
She probably thinks we are some homohabilis still in some stage of evolution. She should come here and i would make her squat and touch her ears for a fucking hour and hope she doesn’t fart too much as a result of eating dog food.
6. KM
(62 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:21 pm
By the way, she adds “I sprinkle it on my porridge in the morning and also my lunch or tea and it just gives me that wee pickup”.
All the pun in that post made me laugh..at a sad sad situation. Well said M. Let those mofos drive and fart around in their fat rides while the rest of the folks eat dog food. Screw them
7. Kenyan Analyst
(2 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 1:28 pm
At least she has something to offer which you can’t say our gluttonous leaders are ready to do.Let’s face it,this could actually face lives.Unfortunately all of us writing here have never ever faced real starvation to feel what pangs of hunger can make you do.
I strongly believe we should assist this lady in her noble quest.
I also think its time africans in general-especially east and southern ones-change their dietry habits to enable as be more adaptable to new things.Ugali is not everything.
Ugali may not be everything but neither is dog food
8. Keguro
(33 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 2:17 pm
I was more struck by the government’s response: “We are desperate, but not that desperate.” As Mshairi says in her latest poem (too lazy to link), it betrays the kind of arrogance that got us here in the first place.
Yes, dog food sounds belittling. (I recently discovered all those rumours about old and poor people eating cat food in US were true!) At the same time, I’m reminded of the “yellow maize” scandal, when *certain* people (I hang my head in shame) heard this was used as cattle feed and refused to eat it. (No one explained farm subsidies and over-production and the struggling American farmer and the overly rich corporations that farm.)
We might have “our pride.” Wouldn’t we rather have our lives?
9. Wangu
(27 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 2:30 pm
@ Kenyan Analyst & Keguro
True true. I believe she did it with noble intentions. However, a nutritionist on Marcus & Leo’s show yesterday afternoon said that the dog food can be eaten, although it is too rich to be given to starving people. Dog food is very rich in protein and fibre, and giving it to someone who hasn’t eaten in a long time could strain his/her kidney enough to kill.
To make it safe for their consumption, they’d need a 1:3 (food:water) ratio … which could be a good thing because a little goes a long way.
As has been stated, she beats our government and Kenya in general …
Food for thought … what are you doing about it?
10. Kashosho
(6 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 2:54 pm
wow.. dog food.
yet again a drowning man will clutch at a straw right? well if i were in rusinga dying for something anything to eat… u could tell me its rat poison and i would eat it. unfortunately all the ppl causing a stinker have fully stocked fridges and full bellies. how i see it is like kegoro said, she’s done a whole bunch more than some kenyans
i know its insulting to be donating DOG FOOD but well, after looking at our shining, exemplery leaders spending 8 hundred and what million shs on cars??
and am still waiting to hear of that minister who will sell his car and donate that money to tha hungry … still waiting….
anywho.. long sttory short, feed the kids and then debate later. altho I really would pay to see her sprinkle some of that dog food on her breakie….
11. Prousette
(143 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 4:15 pm
That earlier story when people ate dead dogs in Ukambani maybe that is where she got her inspiration from, you know if they can eat them we might as well give them their food as well or some funny logic like that.
I am embarrased for myself as a Kenyan maybe next I apply for a visa there will be questions to the effect that feeding habits…. are K9 inclined .
Lakini you know the govt brought this on themselved beggars cannot be choosing especially when she says ‘I sprinkle it on my breakfast’
Why didn’t someone insult her? Mutua where are you when we need your Vitriol to be poured diplomacy or not?
12. Guess
(122 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 4:50 pm
I do kinda get both sides of the coin, especially on the side of looking a gift dog biccie ..er.. horse in the mouth. I think the other side of pride runs more on principle than fact. No one is refuting the fact that she ‘may’ have meant well with that gesture, but it is the word ‘dog’ that is reverberating everywhere in the ‘no’ camp. Say for example, that she said she had ingredients to make a nutritious food supplement, or that would go a long way in helping the hungry?
On that same note, during the Katrina and Rita aftermath, Britain offered food aid to America - consisting of beef. It was rejected for the fact that it ‘could’ contain BSE - there was no actual ‘fact’ attached to that particular shipment, otherwise us carnivores would have died ages ago. People were in dire need of food, but even then the US government refused aid from their most trusted ally. Wasnt that looking a gift bovine ..er.. sorry horse in the mouth?
If it was vegetables and fruit and maharagwe, I doubt there would have been a problem.
What am I waffling on about then? The thought is noble, and it counts - but its worded wrong (or rather the ingredients and their primary intent are a bit suspect)
Someone above asked if we (or rather you M
were doing something about it? I wont speak for him (or should I?) but for me, definitely. A little help goes a long way…
13. sidaki
(51 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 5:11 pm
I think I’m having a change of heart.
If that Top Dog arrives here and KBS take a look at it and declare
that the stuff is safe for human consumption, then…
Remember, She is only sending the ingredients and we can shape them
in whichever way suits small hungry, mouths.
And I am only saying this because right now I am very, very hungry. Not
hungry enough for dog food but getting there,
14. M
(9 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 5:12 pm
My contention remains that she has PLENTY of options with regards to helping out the situation. I refuse to believe that she had no other option than her dog biscuits and bone meal.
Also, that argument that since we don’t have anything, we have some sort of obligation to take whatever it is we have, is not one I buy for one second. Would we still be having this debate if she offered lush green grass? After all, it is nutritious, has plenty of roughage and vitamins.
I do not believe in the benevolence of a neighbour who on noticing I am thirsty looks over all her coke, sprite, manta, mango juice, apple juice and water and instead gives me a bottle of urine at room temperature, rich as it is in salts.
15. Chrenyan
(143 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Let me quote from that alertnet link:
Kenya dismissed as “culturally insulting” on Tuesday an offer of powdered dog food to feed starving children reportedly made by the founder of a canine biscuit company in New Zealand. “Kenyan kids are not so desperate as to eat dog food,” Kenya government spokesman Alfred Mutua told Reuters in response to a front-page story in the east African country’s leading daily.
Here follows an open letter to Dr. Mutua:
Kenyan children, Dr. Mutua, in case you didn’t already know, are DYING. Not just desperate. I admit that it’s a slap in the face and just the kind of lowdown, yellow-bellied, skunk-like trick that many whites in my experience will pull off. “Give ‘em dog food, that should do the trick!” But this is life and death. Cultural insults? Our babies are dying! Save some souls, and let’s discuss culture a little later. And if that’s a cultural insult, what kind of insult is
1. 800 million spent on luxury vehicles at the same time famine is looming, and
2. Food rotting on farms in Marakwet when their countrymen, and worse, country-babies, are dying because there are no access roads from the farms to get it out by?
You, Dr. Mutua, are insulting our intelligence.
16. I
(120 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 7:46 pm
WOW!!! The new Zelander is quite a work of art. i could call her by several names, but why waste my time.
Thou’ now if you look on the flip side, people eat all sorts of strange things nowadays so the stupid fucker may not know any better.
17. Adrian
(81 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 9:41 pm
possible thinking of that person in new zealand:
1) people in kenya are starving
2) i would like to help
3) how can i help? … what do i have plenty of?
4) i’m the founder of a dog food company…
though i don’t think it was a good idea to offer dog food, that person meant well - just didn’t think far enough (e.g. send the equivalent in cash)
we should just say: “thanks, but no thanks”
18. spicebear
(12 Comments) | February 1st, 2006 at 11:06 pm
i have nothing against charity, especially when so many people are dying and the head nitwits in kenya are too busy doing god knows what. but like m i refuse to believe that all she could have done was distribute yummy dog food mix whose ingredients i am yet to read about (someone enlighten me, please) she had a press conference and went on to announce to all and sundry her good deed. a publicity stunt? absolutely. companies do it all the time. methinks she should fire her PR manager. surely a lady who runs a company(i’m assuming of that magnitude) would have some sense when it comes to such things, or at least hire someone who does. KBL didn’t give beer, those Brittania people didn’t dish out biscuits and Coca-Cola weren’t handing out soda. my examples are abit extreme, but you do get my drift. should we be offended? by all means, its dog food for crying out loud. if we accept it, who knows what might come next?
on the other hand, not being one of the many men women and children who are going to sleep on an empty stomach, my view on this might be a bit skewed. far be it from me who is blessedly assured of all 3 meals per day to decide what starving people should eat. my issue is not that she wanted to help, it’s the way she went about it. and i have read comments somewhere that folks in new zealand tried to tell her. her response? “i sprinkle some of it on my porrige.” maybe that was meant to make us feel better and assure wananchi on the recieving end. maybe she meant well and her heart really went out to those starving. but she should have known beter. hopefully, now she does.
19. Morpheus
(8 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 12:07 am
Our talented MP’s can donate food with one eye shut and one eye tied behind their back
20. Farmgal
(101 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 12:28 am
when I read this earlier on I thot it was a joke!
yaani people dont think afican are human.
am very annoyed right now.
21. Whispering Inn
(26 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 3:22 am
See Chrenyan’s comments above.
22. Wangu
(27 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 8:53 am
Food for thought:
All of us believe in caring for the needy … however, quite unfortunately I don’t think any of us would give what we intend to use at a future date (food, clothes or otherwise) … If we give flour, unless we went to the supermarket with these people in mind, we give if we have too much of it … if we donate reading material or clothes, we are already done with them. (I stand to be corrected)
However, I believe that even in the direst of circumstances, we would not give Besbix or Top Dog if we had too much of it … because none of us would even consider eating/tasting it. We cannot judge this lady on whether she sprinkles it on her breakfast or not … I believe her if she says she does … and if she does, then she considers it fit for consumption.
If that be the case, then she had every good intention … and may not have considered the repercussions of her offer … so, as Adrian said, the most honourable thing to say would have been, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
23. Shiroh
(130 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 8:55 am
Yo’ who are saying bout good intentions are lost. No good intention so WHY TF did she decide on dog food? Selling the damn dog food and bring da money!
She actually thought Africans can feed on DOG FOOD, we can’t . I have spent my hard earned money to buy unga & other stuffs for those starving wananchi and not even once thought of doggie food.
24. Prousette
(143 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 10:49 am
Situation on the ground is as follows people who have no food no water almost dying and the govt guess what they brought? 2kg of beans and 1kg of maize per person per household or something to that effect. Note that none of this food is cooked, there is no fuel to cook it no water to boil it in and it is a mighty bad idea to eat them raw.
So maybe this lady has her heart in the right place giving something that is ready to eat. BUT the thought and resulting action are kinda disconnected. I read somewhere of a company that makes protein bars dunno exactly what it is composed of but targeted for human consumption. The bars are ready to eat kind of like chocolate just unwrap and chew on. She did not think of this? Ingredients for dog food are the best she could do?
The culture bit does not figure anywhere.
Agree with spicey her PR manager should be on the way out for the blunder.
25. eclipse
(110 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 12:00 pm
I dont think id mind eating dog food its actully better than nothing. Those of us who went to “those boarding schools” know what i mean…if ur hungry anything goes…
the new zealanders heart is in the right place na cant blame her for trying to help…..if githae can ask pple to eat rats then i dont see any prob with someone donating some biscuits…(i hav tasted the dog biscuits and they aiight)
M did u manage to get a fix on the location of the plagiarist?
26. mruhya
(59 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 2:41 pm
why all the controversy? aren’t there dogs dying in Kenya too?
27. Shiroh
(130 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Lets be honest about this starving people. While i do sympathise with the situation and that mother nature has been hostile to them. Don’t you think they themselves can apply a bit of Charles Darwin!
“Those who will not survive will die”
How do you think this people will ever liberate themselves from their endangering hunger? Do they owe themselves any responsibility to shift to better places for example?
Don’t mention the word Government when responding however great the urge is . Remember what is said about complacency? It is the greatest evil of times.
28. Mo
(8 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 4:31 pm
its sad that on one side of the country there is too much food while on the other side there is none. the lady offering us her “generous” contribution of powdered concoctions as food aid probably thinks africans are so desperate we are one step from eating each other…stupid bitch made me angry.
29. Keguro
(33 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Shiroh raises an interesting question: do we contribute to our own status as victim? If we elect thieves, for example, are we victims of corruption?
It seems to me it’s not simply an issue of starving right now, but a deeper question of how we understand culture, modernization, and responsibility. Should pastoralist groups (some, but not all of the affected) change their lifestyles to fit into the current economy? For that matter, should the people in Eastern province “move” to more fertile lands?
I suspect the answers are both rational and irrational. We’d have to think about land tenure and inheritance, about the ways we think about culture as rooted in a specific place or practice, and about the strange, perhaps irrational, compulsion to die “on one’s own land.”
I think it’s easy for we who come from the fertile highlands to misunderstand other parts of the country and other people’s practices. Even when we move to the city, we plant at least one crop, be it even one maize plant. However, these questions have a long history; we’ve been trying to figure out the tradition-modernity thing for a long time.
And I also think it’s easier for we who live in urban centers, might visit shags or even plan to retire there, but don’t live there, to misunderstand a mindset that says, “this is home. I was born here. I will die here.”
Yes, we can and should assign responsibility to ourselves. At the same time, we have to recognize our failures to build national coalitions across ethnic lines. (Long rant about ethnic isolationism, but that’s another topic.)
30. acolyte
(179 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 8:53 pm
Where do I start?First of all much as that woman’s heart may have been in the right place she is still a kubaff!I mean first of all we do not eat dog food, we may not have the time and know how to deal with the raw ingredients.She should have jsut sent a donation to WFP,Red Cross and whomever else was helping, not the gvt coz they would use the money to fuel their SUVs as they go to take publicity shots of them making meaningless donations.
As a future policy analyst one thing that I have to say is that we need a good long term food policy.It is pathetic how due to bad infrastructure some farmers are throwing away their yields,in other areas the government can’t buy all the grain available.Yes people in all areas cant farm then why not encourage other viable economic activities in those areas?
The Kenyan government reminds me of a deer that stands in the middle of the highway waiting for a truck to run it over.A lot of what happens in Kenya does not occur out of the blue, there are signs but it seems no one pays attention.I think it is time Kenya moved towards technocracy as democracy seems to be doing us little good as seen by the way MPs are messing up public policy.
As for the New Zealander she can go to the dogs!!!!!!!!!!!!
31. Dreddlocked1
(5 Comments) | February 2nd, 2006 at 10:54 pm
http://www.2kat.com/Githongo_s_Report.pdf
And the rest of the country is left to eat dog food (if they eat at all)…Over 3 million euros unaccounted for…
32. Chrenyan
(143 Comments) | February 3rd, 2006 at 8:31 am
@Dreddlocked1
Bless your soul, I’d read it and was looking for a way to upload it. It’s gripping stuff. I hope your site can handle some heavy traffic ‘coz I’ve just sent that link to about 40-odd pals of mine. Thanks a heap.
33. shook1
(1 Comments) | February 3rd, 2006 at 5:45 pm
OK the dust will settle down after the New Zealand chik apologises to Kenyans.
Question is, what have YOU done?
I was disturbed when i learnt that the North Rift has surplus of maize and is selling to Tanzanian business men coz the Kenyan Govt cant buy…
34. JKE
(52 Comments) | February 3rd, 2006 at 11:01 pm
I am with Adrian & eclipse on this matter - the NZ woman apparently didn’t know any better and she wanted to help, not knowing the meaning of dog food in Kenya. Another point to mention of course is that her dog food surely isn’t as smelly as those red coloured dog meat rolls you can buy @ Uchumis & Co. I personally tasted both, the dry version + that meat roll and can reassure that while dry dog food is ok, that meat roll is just the perfect reason to eventually become vegetarian. Yani, I am also the guy who has worked on a sewage treatment plant so my standards are very low
It still leaves dumbfounded, though, how someone actually tries to officially promote dog food as an interim solution to such a long term problem like hunger. I wonder if my father, who himself had to ask for food during WWII, ever thought about eating dog food.
35. JKE
(52 Comments) | February 3rd, 2006 at 11:20 pm
http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/411749/655140