Any resemblance to persons, existing or otherwise, is purely a coincidence
10:00 AM Wake Up #1. Look down approvingly at Winnie The Pooh pyjamas
10:01 Fall Asleep
10:30 Wake up #2. Deny vigorously allegations of thumb sucking.
11:00 Presidential Bath (With presidential rubber ducky & presidential battle ships)
11:30 Presidential wash behind the ears
11:40 Breakfast at State House (Weetabix & Cerelac) (Except that one time Besbix was eaten by mistake)
12:00 Quick game of marbles on the lawn behind the kitchen with Stan, Nat & Joe
12:30 Pre-pre lunch nap
12:45 Wake up.
12:46 Who’s Who — Session to remind president who that guy in the army uniform that keeps standing behind him is, who the bald old guy who wears red shirts and blue shorts is, etc
12:50 Pre-lunch nap
1:00 PM Lunch at State House. Presidential bib is deployed before the meal is served. Combination of threats and persuasion to get him to eat his vegetables.
1:30 Mid-lunch nap
1:45 Finish off lunch with a nice warm bottle of milk
2:00 Post lunch nap
4:00 Cops and robbers with Stan, Nat, Eddie & Joe
6:00 Decide on important national business: Famine mercenaries insecurity corruption education jobs health care Mary Wambui & The President
7:00 Take Action on national issues: Fire & investigate corrupt officers, streamline government, promote freedom of expression, tell country vision and current programmes, issue prompt statements about Mary Wambui
7:01 Game of shake with Lucy, Stan, Nat, Eddie & Joe and their wives
7:20 Pre-pre-dinner nap
7:40 Wake up
7:45 Pre-dinner nap
8:00 Dinner
9:00 Watch heavily edited news that is 3 minutes long, including sports
9:03 Read heavily edited papers that are 4 pages apiece (including cover)
10:00 Consult with Stan, Nat, Eddie & Joe
10:30 Glass of milk
10:45 Put on Jungle Book pyjamas
10:50 Discover that the tops and bottoms have been mixed up
10:55 Put on Jungle Book pyjamas correctly
11:00 Bed
11:20 Ordered to go and put down Presidential Toilet Seat
11:30 Sleep
James Brown – Soul Man