[EDIT]
The lads will undoubtedly be familiar with this experience
1) Meet nice girl (Pearl)
2) Get a good thing going with Pearl
3) Meet parent of Pearl
4) Feel like chicken before hungry crocodile before Father Of Pearl
Apparently there is an unwritten rule that goes as follows:
The man good enough for my daughter is yet to be born and should be discouraged on sight.
Next to “Be fruitful, fill the earth and conquer it” men generally follow this rule with ruthless efficiency.
Bill’s Story
At the tender age of 5 Bill could safely be described as slightly more advanced than his peers in the kindergarten. His teachers found his intelligence engaging. His male friends found his shouting and roughness endearing. His female friends found his good manners a welcome change from the pushing from his male friends.
So it was with a feeling of confidence that he accompanied Pearl to her father’s car. Father of Pearl , a man in the military slid out of the car and advanced upon them. The look on his face was not encouraging but 3 years of teachers fawning over him had blunted his senses of fight or flight.
Bill extended his hand for a greeting and waited expectantly. Father of Pearl extended his hand, spun Bill around by the shoulder, swung a powerful foot back and buried his big black army boot in the seat of Bill’s shorts, shooting him 5 meters back in the direction he had just come from.
Bill is still recovering today, several decades later.
Jim’s Story
Jim’s opinion of himself was a very high one, thought it was not shared by many. Pearl was certainly one of those who agreed with him, and against her better judgment, under the influence of his engaging smile, allowed a Form 2 boy onto the premises to ‘hang out’.
Father of Pearl looked grimly on from his sofa as his only daughter and a boy whose underwear he could see, whose enormous jeans were practically at his knees and who had a vest on top of a T-shirt and several layers of jewelry swaggered into the room and sat down on his best sofa, negligently swinging a leg over the other and nodding casually to him.
“‘Sup” Jim said to a full Colonel in the Kenya Army.
Those who knew Father of Pearl well knew the sudden appearance of a vein on his right temple was not a good thing but Jim was blissfully unaware and thought nothing of his sudden departure.
Within a minute Father Of Pearl was back with a very large, very shiny sword. Placing said sword on his knees he proceeded to polish the gleaming steel, all the while staring directly at Jim.
Jim was suddenly very self conscious.
After ten minutes Father Of Pearl started sharpening the sword.
After 5 minutes Father Of Pearl grabbed the sword by the handle and stood up.
After 5 nanoseconds Jim produced a sonic boom as the departed swiftly from the premises.
Bob’s Story
Bob was better placed to counter his Father In Law, as he was a Lieutenant Commander in the Army and was just as adept in arm to arm combat as he was in weapons combat.
But he had no way of dealing with the casual demand for 1 (one) Mercedes S Class, 100 (one hundred) assorted head of goats, sheep and cows and a small house in return for his daughter’s had in marriage.
Personally I think such antics are insane. Completely insane. It is in my best interests to know exactly what my daughter is doing, and who she is doing it with (no, not that way, nitwit!!!) I encourage her to bring all her boyfriends, friends who are boys, study buddies, tutors, etc to my house and engage the same in friendly banter. It is good for everyone if I know who are these befriending my daughter. During which i will find out who they are and most importantly where they live.
This will be very useful information when I am informed that my teenage daughter had disappeared on a trip without my consultation, or my teenage daughter has fallen victim to a smooth talker and is expecting a surprise in 9 months, or when i move faster than my daughter and pick up the phone in time to hear a 16 year old schmuck say “I’m in boxers — what are you wearing?”
AOB
Jacob Zuma
The guy has supporters?! I’m speechless. SPEECHLESS!! What is WRONG with people?!
Way Back Then
I’m reminded of way way back when you were either in the Muppet Show camp or the Fraggle Rock camp. Me? I shamelessly played to both galleries. Seems there’s a Fraggle Rock movie in the pipeline! Hmm :-?
Tom Cruise
I’ve always thought the man’s a bit of lot of a schmuck, and finally people are coming round.
Knight Rider
Anyone who says they didn’t like the very very cool Knight Rider is clearly talking through the wrong end of their anatomy. Seems a movie is in the pipleine
PIC OF THE DAY
Look at these nitwits (Image From the East African Standard) fooling around with a grenade! And the other nitwits in the background looking on!
Santana & The Product G&B – Maria Maria
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