[EDIT]

- The fracas in the Middle East can only be described as insane. I think the Israelis and Hezbollah have lost their doggone minds. Can’t they be airlifted to some remote desert and left there to sort out their issues without involving innocent civilians? And that mentality of “we won’t stop because they started is” is juvenile to the extreme. Really. 400+ dead? For what?!!!

- The United Nations as usual is proving to be a well oiled talking machine. As people are dying left right and center, I have no doubt they are in meetings and deliberations deciding on the semantics of what is happening in the Middle East. I mean, did they ever resolve whether what was happening in Darfur was genocide or not? Meetings, workshops, sessions, etc will be held for weeks and weeks. Cakes will be eaten and coffee will be drunk. Resolutions and statements will be passed. One of them I feel sure will read as follows:

The United Nations strongly condemns the
unfortunate goings on in the Middle East.

Personally, “we condemn…” has always struck me as being a quintessentially bullshit statement of absolutely no value whatsoever. I mean, what changes before and after it is made?

Lethargy, after all, has always been the UN’s strong point. And the African Union is learning fast. They’re still meeting over Darfur x years later (where x is a large number). I have a lengthy post on this unbelievably bureaucratic shadow boxing entity that I hope to get round to posting soon.

Just you wait. They will shed crocodile tears as they did after Kosovo, Rwanda and are doing now over Darfur. Words like “never again” will come from gentlemen and ladies whose faces will be twisted in real agony.

- Watching the Kibaki government shamelessly make use of state resources to boost their preferred candidates to the skies just goes to illustrate that the more things change the more they stay the same

- Women, as usual, were the losers in these elections. I for one think the fewer Maina Kamandas and Fred Gumos we have and the more Wangari Mathais and Charity Ngilus we have the more effective that bumbling house that is parliament will be

AOB

Good parents who love their children will NOT buy anything from here

You – You rock. Totally.

HOT SITE OF THE WEEK

The Narc-Kenya Website

SOBERING SITE OF THE WEEK

Coffins

Yes, I’m half a year early but I want to make sure I get my requests in before people start with the ponies and what nots.

For myself what I want is this thingy here:

An iLoo? iPoLoo?

There’s no good reason why I should not enjoy some tunes while on the ivory throne without risking Jacques Cousteau-like operations in the wild white yonder.

And since I’m not greedy, and I’d like to give my lovely Martha a leg up over other iPods. I think she would look fetching in this:

Nothing like a nice Song Thong

The Beatles – A Hard Day’s Night

David Munyakei, the man who put his neck on the line to blow the whistle on the colossal theft that is the Goldenberg scandal, passed away on Sunday evening after a short illness at the Narok county hospital.

14 years after risking his neck, the matter remains unresolved and the players charged with bringing the culprits to books are engaged in a right royal bout of shadow boxing and pussy footing.

Unlike the United States and the UK, Kenya’s legal system does not boast a robust witness protection system that affords witnesses the opportunity to retire to sunny locales and never have to worry about money and bills again. If you are going to whistle-blow in Kenya you are pretty much on your own.

But he blew the whistle anyway in one of the biggest scandals ever to rock this country, and got misery for his trouble, starting with losing his job, followed closely by being incarcerated and finally being confined to a life of misery with his young family.

Many people thought that with the new government coming to power, he would finally get his just rewards for blowing the whistle on the fraud and putting to an end a rich gravy train that enriched quite a few people while it rode.

The NARC government has as usual exemplified itself on the matter – long on lip service and short on action. Promises and promises were made, his hand was shaken by dozens of beaming ministers, careful to make use of the photo opportunity as it arose, and pledges were made to recognize him for what he had done.

And he was promptly forgotten.

A government that can pay Aaron Ringera 2,500,000 and his for deputies similarly obscene figures per month ostensibly to track down and bring to book the corrupt for some reason is unable to attend to the very basic needs for a man who gave up everything to stop the plunder of a nation.

The fact that other than some junior policemen Aaron and his lads have next to nothing to show for the billions that have been sunk does not surprise.

Let me hazard what will happen now.

Sacred, as well as plain old, cows will call for hero’s send off for David. Care will be taken by these big fish to be caught on camera going to console the widow. Pledges will be made to help the family in these trying times.

At the funeral a mix of calling for Kenyans to emulate the departed hero and cheap shots at political opponents will be made. Again pledges will be made to help the young family.

And as soon as the television cameras are off motorcades and helicopters will be hurriedly made for, and within a week, just like the many before him – Bildad Kaggia, Paul Ngei, Makan Singh – he will be forgotten.

Which is why I admire him even more and wish when the time comes I will be able to sacrifice everything for the good of my countrymen and women. Because he probably knew what he was doing was thankless and that he would suffer for the rest of his days.

But he did it anyway.

And it is more such people that Kenya needs to become the great country that it so richly deserves to be.

Mr. Munyakei – it may not be obvious, but the thanks and prayers of a Nation are with you and with your family.

I can say for a fact that you have inspired at least one person.

May we always have the courage to do the right thing, no matter the cost. May we always have the courage to put our country ahead of us. May we never lose sight of the fact that one man can make a difference.

May you get the rest that you so richly deserve.

Thank you.

To endure is greater than to dare; to tire out hostile fortune; to be daunted by no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it; to go through intrigue spotless; and to forgo even ambition when the end is gained — who can say this is not greatness?

William Thackeray

Mzalendo.com is without a doubt one of the most interesting, and at the same time one of the most taxing things that I have ever done. You’d not think so by looking at the home page but take it from me — there is a lot of plumbing under the hood.

Blood, sweat and a lot of tears have gone into Mzalendo.com to make it what it is today, and there is a lot more that we are still doing to make it a complete resource that you, the electorate, can use to make informed decisions when it comes to evaluating your leadership.

I can’t offhand recall the exact date Kenyan Pundit and I first discussed the idea, but I do remember it was a substantial breakfast at Java House where ideas were evaluated and either tossed out or scribbled down.

The major obstacles were obtaining information about the parliamentary process — members, bills, motions, etc. The other was tying together everything using technology so as to present it easily to Kenyans, or indeed anyone who is interested.

I won’t make any bones about it. It has been, and continues to be quite the effort because we have to find time for our schedules to volunteer to do this. It is entirely a part time effort, mostly done at ungodly hours in the night and weekends.

Which brings me to the question we get fairly frequently: Why?

The simplest answer to this is simple — whining does not help. We have whined and whined and whined about the quality of our leadership for over 40 years. There is nothing you are going to say over drinks with your friends that has not been said before. There is no editorial or blog post or speech that will say anything that has not been said before. And after that what then?

Nothing. Nothing really changes.

Basically whining and ranting about our spectacularly inept leadership has become dangerously close to noise.

Since whining does nothing, we need to do something about it, rather than just talk. Put in some effort. And there are several ways to do this. Facilitate or conduct civic education, run for office, civic or parliamentary, audit the various levels of government, and so on.

But enough with the whining. Everyone knows the problems.

Our way was to build a resource where everyone cold see who their representatives are and what they have done while they were in office so that people could see in black and white the effectiveness, or lack thereof, of their leaders.

We’re just about done with the first of the major efforts — putting together complete member profiles which should be done in about a week. It has taken a while because it is very difficult to get this data. When we started compiling it the parliament site had been offline for several months.

But regardless we have been online since February and went public about April.

By and large, Mzalendo.com has been fairly well received. Most people can appreciate the value of such a resource. We have received and implemented a number of ideas. Since everything, and I do mean everything, is in a database, we can manipulate and display it in almost endless ways.

But as with all things, there are always detractors. Most of the attacks fall along these lines

- Despite saying it in black and white that we have no affiliations of any kind with political parties, accusations come in thick and fast about how we are aligned or are some sort of mouthpiece of LDP, NARC or KANU. The basis of these accusations? Your guess is as good as mine!

- Again, despite saying it time and time again that we are just volunteers and don’t command resources in terms of time and labour and therefore our data is incomplete, some people see mischief in this. As some sort of “plot” to hide the truth. And so some more allegations come. When challenged to help us fill in the missing information instead of just whining about it — silence.

- Still others pontificate from lofty shores across the seas about how such an initiative is futile because Kenyans have no access to the Internet. I find this as ridiculous as argument as not writing in English because not everyone can read English. While is true that not all Kenyans can go online, those that do have friends and family to whom they can share what they have learnt. Having people access the resource is not the aim of the game. Having them share what they have learnt is.

What I find especially interesting is that almost all of the complaining has come from Kenyans, or at any rate people that claim to be Kenyans.

Luckily, this is more than made up for by the fact that the bulk of our support correspondingly is from Kenyans, and I’d like to thank each and every one of you for your continued support and ideas.

In particular I’d like to thank (in no particular order) Afrofeminizta, Bankelele, Shiro, Alexcia, Guessaurus, my main man Rip and and one Mr X for their support before and behind the scenes. You guys rock!

We’re always looking for some extra help. Not sure how you can pitch in? Check this out. Or if you can think outside the box and come up with ideas? Write to us.

Remember — knowledge is power.

I highly encourage you to visit parliament at least once and see for yourself exactly how our MPs conduct themselves and articulate issues. It will be an eye opener. I guarantee you. Details for visiting can be found here so take up the gauntlet and find out how you are governed. After all, it is your right. Visit. Take note. Share.

AOB

Livestock and Fisheries Minister Joseph Munyao called a press conference last week to declare to Kenyans that he has only one ass. I kid you not

I was a very unpopular individual on Saturday. In the Argentina vs Germany match I was enthusiastically for the Fatherland. In the England vs Portugal match I was solidly on Portugal’s side while some other people were rooting for England. In the France vs Brazil match I was all for France, unlike some people.

And I somehow found myself not only a minority, but a minority deeply embedded in hostile terrain. Which stopped my exuberant cheering not a whit.

Italy vs Ukraine was no surprise to anyone so it doesn’t count.

As for Argentina vs Germany — Lehman delivered the goods. And removing Riquelme is something the Argentine coach will rue for the remainder of his days.

I’ll not be surprised if Germany takes that cup. I think they have the most solid team in the tournament. Goalie, defence, midfield and attack.

For a change, the underdog came out on top.

England – Portugal

I have never been a fan of England. England’s team reminds me powerfully of Beyonce Knowles. She looks good on paper (especially gloss paper) but when it comes to actual talent … does not deliver. That they failed to capitalize on a Portugal sans Deco merely belies this.

Having said that, I can at least sympathize with the English. Wayne Rooney is a young man desperately in need of a smack to his fat head. The moment he stomped down on Carvalho’s cojones every last male in the establishment we were watching the game in involuntarily winced and bent forwards. Carvalho now can probably become the fourth Destiny’s Child because he must be having an excellent soprano.

Taking Kirk Franklin a bit too literally

Frank Lampard I fell sure hold some sort of record along the lines of “most unconverted shots”. The man’s soccer boots must be worn thin from all the balls he’s kicked this tournament. Footballs that is. Whoever decided that he should take a penalty really needs to have a short time out.

Lampard rues his 900^th attempt to score

Jose will certainly find it that much less difficult in deciding who to field between Ballack and Lampard.

As for Gerard failing to convert that penalty … sometimes its just not your day.

Gerrard tries to drill the ball into the net

As for that poor youngster Walcott … the young man was so far down the pecking order on strikers that it is entirely possible he never even changed into substitute gear and spent his time in jeans eating popcorn at the sidelines. As Shakespeare aptly put it, Much Ado About Nothing. I mean, the poor guy’s stats can be written entirely in binary!

One of the shorter lived stars

At least on the bright side we will be spared the crass nonsense of shots of Beckham, Mrs and her over-sized sunglasses every time Beckham, Mr, does anything, including scratching himself, about how she is “watching her husband with pride/concern/joy”. We don’t give a flying rat’s ass. Really.

Why do we waste camera film and press space on this woman? Enough already!

At least some gems came to light — and top of the list is Aaron Lennon. That young man needs a regular starting position.

This man has a bright future

And can everyone stop b**ching and whining about that supposed penalty? It was no such thing! Get over it!

Hats off to Ricardo. The man stopped 3 penalty shots. That is, if I’m not wrong, a word cup record.

Can probably catch a greased pig

And Luis Figo — he was written off as a has been Galacticos but the man clearly can still deliver. Portugal did not seem to miss Deco all that much.

Old may just turn out to be gold!

Christiano Ronaldo clearly is going to have a very bright future, and when the premiership opens very interesting relationships indeed will be observed between Ronaldo, Rooney and Neville. Though I’m officially taking bets to see who the English fans will boo loudest — Ronaldo or Rooney.

This guy may just captain Portugal in 2010

Brazil – France

This was a great game. Brazil was beaten fair and square. No amount of griping will get over this. After 90 minutes Brazil had ONE SHOT ON GOAL ONE. BRAZIL! Testament to a solid performance of the French midfield and defence. Barthez had a largely idle game and may even have taken a nap. That he used some of this idle time to do some knitting has been proven as a vile and unfounded rumour.

It is extremely rare to see a plainly desperate Brazil fighting hard to put one past Barthez. All the guns were flung at the attack. Personally if I were a defender the last thing I would want to see running towards me are Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Adriano, Kaka, Cafu, and Roberto Carlos who have proven time and time again they can pretty much score from anywhere, including behind the net.

Defender’s nightmare

Although I’m not entirely sure Ronaldo should have gotten that yellow card. I mean, there is quite a bit of him so he’s hard to miss. Allowances ought to be given.

Still, I wonder what would have been the outcome of Brazil had fielded the young team that trounced Ghana.

And in that game some new talent continued to shine. Frank Quasimodo (© KP) Ribery and Malouda in particular. Those lads ought to get starting positions henceforth. Trezeguet and his lot really ought to look into farming or some other worthy pursuit. They had an excellent game and I wonder as to the wisdom on substituting them!

Florent Malouda

Quasimodo Frank Ribery

And the old guard showed again why they trounced Brazil in 1998. Zidane in particular was brilliant, showing some flashes of footwork worthy of the Zidane of yore. That kanzu Ronaldo received in particular triggered wild applause, even grudgingly from Brazil fans. The pairing of Zidane and Vieira kept the Brazilians very busy.

Brilliant. Enough said

And Henry sneaking past the Brazilian defence to plant that ball at the top of Dida’s net — Priceless.

Finally beginning to get his International mojo

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Oh to be a commentator for a day!

“Oh, what a turn of events! Rooney sees red and then sees red!”

PIC OF THE DAY

Kahn & Lehmann (AP)

Snow – Informer