Barack Obama

Barack Obama, the Senator of the good State Illinois, made a tumultuous welcome to Kenya late last week. Everyone, and everything, from the man on the street, to livestock, to stray cats and dogs, to insects and grubs, to pond scum all the way down the politicians fell over (it/them)selves to see and shake the hand of the Senator.

Each time he has spoken, he has done so eloquently and intelligently. By virtue of his roots (his father was from Nyanza), Obama has a grandmother here, and he fondly refers to her very warmly as granny.

You can her the gears spinning in the grubby eyes of our politicians as they start to mentally trace their family trees looking for any live grandmothers, or ancient relatives that can fit the role.

Within a few weeks puzzled grandmothers, grandaunties and grandcousins will be receiving long lost potbellied relatives who will suddenly pop up at their doorways and insist on hugging them and calling them “granny”. Under the full glare of camera lights of course.

Safaripod

The SafariPod is a Kenyan one-of-a-kind hand-carved renewable

Are you the owner of a computer, a PDA, or, an iPod? Are you an Apple Computer fan? If so, SafariPod probably has a product that will make you smile… today, and every day. You see, SafariPod is the real thing: a true handmade crafts house. Not a single item here ever touches a machine of any type. Each art object here is not only useful and beautiful, it demonstrates the unique artistry of a specific Kenyan craftsman… the man who made it just for you with his bare hands.

The jury is still out on whether to buy this or not. (In every sense of the words)

Planets

Some guys met and decided that Pluto is no longer a planet. Don’t they realize that planets have feelings too?

Now millions of Malkiat Singh books have to be recalled and gameshows will forever be riddled with controversies when the question of how many planets comes up.

Failure

Google continue to astound me by the day. If you enter a search for “miserable failure” here’s what you get:

Hmm …

Yes, that’s Internet Explorer 7. Much as I’m a Firefox fan I’m not a fanatical yahoo. A test drive is in order. After all, a mind is like a parachute — it works better when open.

Airport Security

It’s jolly hard to get past airport security with nail clippers. And apparently now it’s impossible to board a plane with a laptop computer, or orange juice

But 1,000$ to the individual who can convince airport security to let him board with this sucker:

You can get one cheap at only 1,200$

More Google Fun (Hat tip Muthoni)

Googling “liar” also gets you some pretty interesting results:

Angie Stone – I Wish I Didn’t Miss You

Only in Kenya, I tell ye, only in Kenya!

The Kenyan Member of Parliament is the quintessential schmuck. Really. Politicians, in their true sense, have proven that even if they had only one leg they still would have nothing to stand on. 

I mean, take a cursory look at last week’s events. The very very same politicians who wanted constitution reforms no longer want any, and those who did not want constitutional reform suddenly want it!

I find it very hard very difficult impossible completely impossible to take a Kenyan MP seriously, from the tips of their pitchforks to the tips of their tails.

It is such displays that prove that the MP is no usual human being. You and I would feel very foolish, and would blush completely contradicting ourselves on national television!

Amazing.

Memo To President Kibaki

There is no bloody place in Kenya called Naikuru! And if there is, it’s not where you think it is!

Whoever is in charge of the Presidential Atlas is sleeping on the job. Or maybe the page is question was obscured by presidential Cerelac™

Question Of The Week

Just how many breaks have our extremely well paid MPs taken? 

WTF Moment of the Week

A week ago some university professors at some ubiquitous forum expressed sentiments to the effect that anti-retroviral drugs where a bad thing. Imagine listening with stunned amazement to someone who has studied for some 20+ years saying that: 

Anti-retrovirals are bad because people with HIV don’t look like they have the disease and are therefore dangerous.

This is without a doubt one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

Pic Of The Day

India.Arie – I Am Not My Hair

- Is it just me or has KBW (including self) lost its collective mojo? Apart from Acolyte of course. Dude, what do you smoke?

- Are you working with a supervisor always breathing heavily over your shoulder and want to surf yet look busy? Have no fear, workFriendly is here.

- My Toshiba laptop is fairly serviceable, and has done many things for me, but there’s something in Toshibas that drive me up the wall, down, and back up again. The clowns decided that Page Up, Page Down, Home and End are not commonly used keys and so they paired them up. This is without a doubt the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. So now to use Page Up I must hit Fn as well. Ridiclus! But at least it does not try to kill me

- Heath Ledger will be The Joker in the next Batman. And I’m sure Scary Movie 8, or whichever version will be there will shamelessly try and connect Batman and Brokeback Mountain. Why Heath Ledger? I still think Jack Nicholson rocked. Or Philip Seymour-Hoffman. If he can do Capote he can do Joker.

- Some guys have been conducting a physics experiment since 1927 — stuff has been dropping for a beaker and so far a grand total of 8 drops

- And for those Wifi leeching parasites, you might come across this guy who’ll let you leech at a rather interesting cost …

- Ja Rule was in town last weekend. My statement “I refuse to pay 1,500 bob, or even 15 bob to watch a grown man howl” did not go down well in many quarters. Venni. Vetti. Vamoose.

- Size does matter after all …

The Good
Yesterday I had quite a bit of freetime
The bad
I watched Spongebob Sqarepants
The Ugly
I laughed my ass off. But as with all things there is always controversy — even cartoons!

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Dude, my right hand is a hook. Washing my hands after going to the loo is the last of my priorities”