50

Perspective. Perspective

Posted October 30th, 2006 in Reflections by M

Many a time, under introspection induced by a good meal and a cold drink, I find myself applying new lens to old problems. Or looking at things a bit differently.

I highly recommend it because a new look at old things generally brings them out in a somewhat … interesting manner?

Let us take the case of Job. Of all the stories I suffered through listened to in Sunday School, which at my young age I considered a total waste of a good Sunday morning, the one I remember most was job.

For those of us not familiar with the facts, Job was a gentleman that went through quite the tribulations but he kept his cool

Some years back I thought about the whole thing a little differently and this is how it went.

Date & Time: Way, way, WAY back then

Cast: 1 (One) God, 1 (one) Devil, 1 (one) Job, 2 (two) Angels we’ll call Dark and Peter. Dark is the Devil’s sidekick and (St) Peter is head of the Admissions department

Director’s Notes: God has to be one, what being omnipresent and all. The Devil has to be one or it would be confusing. Job has to be one because having more than one Job is very stressful for everyone.

Scene: Heaven. Devil enters, wiping brow

God: Ah, Earl

Devil: G’day. What’s poppin? And I know you created me and all, but I’m not fond of the name Earl.

God: You’re the Earl of Hell, aren’t you?

Devil: Well, yes, but still … call me Ruby

God: (Smiling) Ruby?

Peter: (Indignantly) Ruby?!

Devil: (Fidgeting) Yes, Ruby

God: All right then, Ruby. How’s Hell

Devil: (Wiping brow) A mite warm, I must confess.

Peter: (Sotto Voice) The roof,
the roof,
the roof is on fire!

Dark: (Outraged) Hey hey! I heard that!

Devil: Don’t you find it boring, sitting up here all day playing those ridiculous harps?

God: My good man, don’t knock it until you try it. You seem to forget you were in the boy’s choir until you broke your voice

Peter: Didn’t break it enough from the sound of things! Sounds like a girl.

Devil: (Colouring) No, I DO NOT sound like a girl.

God: Your falsetto is quite fetching … you really should reconsider …

Devil: (Shrilly) I refuse to discuss my voice any further.

Dark: Yes. Besides playing those pansy harps, what do you DO all day?

God: Said the angel with fluffy wings on his back

Devil: (Opening mouth)

God: What do you have in mind?

Devil: (Angrily) Will you STOP that omnipotent thing?

Dark: (With interest) Omnipotent?

God: (Shaking head) What oh what am I going to do with you Eustace?

Dark: (Indignantly) There is no Eustace! Only Dark.

God: Well Eustace, omnipotence is not what you think it is, my son, not nearly

Dark: (Crestfallen) oh, ok

Devil: Anyway, I have an idea to make things a bit more interesting. Let’s have a …

God: Wager?

Devil: Will you stop that?

God: (Smiling) OK my good man. Put your pitchfork down and give me your thoughts

Devil: Well … Let’s find a chap. Say … (Looking earthwards) That one.

God: Job?

Devil: That will work.

God: Let me play along. And then what?

Devil: I think this business of following your way no matter what is a chocolate teapot, banana oil, stuff and nonsense. I bet he’d think jolly differently about your roles if he was up, if you’ll pardon the expression, shit creek

God: Very well. You’re on.

And poor Job was blissfully unaware that he was an unwitting participant in one of the first recorded wagers in history

STOP PRESS : BREAKING NEWS

The Kenya Bureau of Standards has with immediate effect banned the selling of second hand ngothas underwear. If your ass (ha ha!) is caught selling second hand underwear you’d better have 10,000 bob somewhere on you

WTF OF THE DAY

Hawkers can and do sell anything it would seem! I gots to get me one of those! 

Nas – Made You Look
  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    First! Now to read and comment!

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Ouch! Got beaten by Acolyte… Of all people… I mean the guy can’t even get on KBW’s aggregator…

    But that’s OK…

    LOL… M, nice to see ur back… for a moment I thought I was all between you and (J)Unkie Joe…

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    Whoever knew that God could be such a know it all! Oh wait a minute he does know it all! Poor Job, had he known he could have betted on himself and made something on the side!

    As for the ban on the sale of second hand underwear, what oh what will our dear friend Nick do? I foresee a commando dentist on the loose!

    You have to give those naijos props! Nothing beats having “tame” hyenas for show and security! while the Baboons perform all the tricks. Innovation at it’s peak why whip up something flashy to please the masses when nature has already provided it?

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    @ VituVingiSana
    Who needs to be on the KBW aggregator when you have an aggregator of your own? I don’t have to sift through as many posts as you do for the good stuff! Bwehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Where did you get those pics from?
    What country?

    Cruel, cruel, cruel…

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Nah, I just go to your blog chap chap for the good stuff… when I need a lil’ uplifting comedy…

    But I am on the Aggregator and you are not… nye nye nye…

    LOL…

    BTW, how do I get onto your aggregator?

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    @ VituVingiSana
    I’ll give you that, you do have aggregator exposure. As for getting on it, there is nothing you have to do, all I have to do is tap into your RSS feed the same way the KBW aggregator taps into yours and displays your new posts as soon as they go up.
    Let me get to it!

  • msaniixl

    Lol… Your falsetto is quite fetching … you really should reconsider … funny funny

    I guess no more spidey underwear for Tato’

    how ya been fossil you?

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Seriously though… the Christian God seems to be jealous, unfair and all that in between…

    If he were Omnipotent, why even create the flawed angels & then humans?
    Was He bored?
    Was He showing off?
    Did He make a mistake?

    What better demonstration of free will could there be than creating angles (and humans) and letting them defy him if they so wished?

    Am I going to be struck by lightning?

    Oh I doubt that very much! Asking questions, even hard ones is just a part of the universal direction of “know thyself”
  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    LOL. The underwear thing has me chekaing with the ass pun

  • http://kenyananalyst.wordpress.com/ Kenyan Analyst

    M, a little “serious” from my end…Dr. John Stott has an excellent expository take on the book of Job. I read it some 10 or so years ago. One line still rings in my mind. I think he calls Job’s buddies “insolent intellectual prigs” for the self-righteousness and “helpfulness” they seek to give Job at his hour of need. Yet I’ll add my little own too. Me thinks that in the final analysis, Job’s security lay not in being away from need or danger. Rather, it lay in his being near God (Job 23:10). So long a sermon. Thanks for the laughs, though.

  • http://bomseh.blogspot.com Bomseh

    @ VituVingiSana and Acolyte – get a chat room. this is someone else’s blog comments page. why are you guys meeting here?

    @ author M – blasphemy, even though i haven’t read the original version in The Bible.

    1) Is it now? How, pray tell?
    2) Since you have not read it, how can you make any conclusions about it?
  • eclipse

    heheh M too deadly….the omnipotent thing has me LMAO and its pretty confusing…just try to think that God knows hat ur thinking…he even know am thinking of what im thiking of…man this is just too confusing

    Earl and Eustace..again perfect choice of words!

  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    One lasting thing I hope I remember forever from the book of Job, is that if the Devil could hope for something from God and get it, why are we so afraid to ask? And thereafter receive?

  • http://kenyananalyst.wordpress.com Kenyan analyst

    Chrenyan – I LOVE THAT! DEEP THOUGHT!

  • Bantutu

    Hey M.! That Eustace crack’d me up….Wonder what he thought omnipotent was….
    You have to recenise….without stories like the ban on mtumba bras, and the lot we’d be a very boring lot.
    Oh n the nyang’au dogs…..hee hee!!

  • http://gishungwa.blogspot.com Gish

    Eustace LOL. the story and sequence of event is hilarious.
    May i please have the hyenas then again them laughing all night is not the way i want to go down.

  • donworry

    A lovely piece M. You have shone a big light in a very dark area of my existence(wwwooooiii) I should have paid more attention. Back in that distant past I was always placed at the back of the class because my surname was closer to the end of the alphabet. It was easier to read a copy of Big Ben of london ama a ka tintin than listen to all that religious waffle.

    I have paid the price several times over. In the beginning of your story I was going like “wtf. kwani whats wrong with having 2 jobbos? si that’s just survival siku hizi. I then realised it was job the man.

    I rushed off to read Job 1:21 it seems to be a rebuke to the boys at Kenya bureau of standards, yawa.

    ps thanks for visiting the boma that day. Sadly we were destroyed by a freak lighning strike and I was just lucky to escape…

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Bomseh – R u new here?

    M – But He knows… almost like knowing IF you have kids they are going to turn into mega-disappointments but you still have them.

    Its a tough one coz why suffer the little children?

    Anyway, religion is a murky subject so I shall bow out & wait for your next blog. I prefer being spiritual without religious which raises a host of questions in itself.

    BTW, where do they imprison the hyenas and baboons (as depicted in your pic)?

  • http://www.nmjoe.blogspot.com formally known as joe

    a post i did on the 25th hope it helps ….

    Coming into work today I did something I haven’t done in a while ,think of what I am going to say on my blog.I thought of a few things but I knew I wanted to blog about the book of job. So in my usual self I was running all this word plays trying to sound intellectual and philosophic. Wisdom is ancient but revelation is new …I have always had a thing for turning simple slogans into deep thoughts. sometimes the truth is right in your face but you are looking to far into the horizon to see it .you get my drift .anyway I decided just coming clean plain and simple would be the way to go.

    The book of job is one of those books in the bible that one can overlook .The story of job for me is a book that is showing me how lucky I am to live in this age and to know the revelation of Jesus Christ My Lord . In the book job is comforted by his friends and in a series of dialogues some very interesting questions are asked. At that time neither Job nor his friends could answer some of the questions. But shockingly today most of us can answer some of those questions.

    Yet we take it for granted that the knowledge we have even faithful servants of God such as Job did not have .So anyway my point is lets not take for granted the revelation that we have in Christ Jesus and the revelation that we get from the holy spirit.

    Read the book of job if you can it will shock you that many answers that were unknown and considered heavenly mysteries can now be know simply by reading the new testament and asking God for revelation.

    Have a blessed day and dust of that Bible the truth is in there

  • http://afromusing.com/blog AfroM

    M- very funny

    @VVS I think the WTF pic is of gang members in Nigeria. I recall reading about it somewhere, cant for the life of me remember where, notice the red armbands… Interestingly, the picture featured in The Gorillaz CD booklet for liner notes ‘Demon Days’, in it the VW billboard has the writing ‘ Dont get lost in Heaven’ – the title of one of the songs…

  • http://chondima.blogspot.com Sarah

    M, very interesting… truth : viewing something with a different mindset/set of eyes does change the perspective – thanks.
    Breaking news… WOW.. quite speechless.

  • Ni2

    @Bomseh
    You said
    >>@ VituVingiSana and Acolyte – get a chat room. this is someone else’s blog comments page. >>why are you guys meeting here?

    I think they “meet” here coz the owner of this blog lets them! Personally I find the banter quite funny.
    Also Bomseh please feel free to chat on this blog. M doesnt mind. (You dont mind do you M? Ofcourse you DONT! What? ).

    At which point…
    @Eclipse
    Hi! Sema! Umpotea sana! Yaani the only place I can find you is in thinkers!!!

    @Bomseh
    I hope that ^^ explains alot!

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Ni2 – LOL… I was ignoring Bomseh coz of course M doesn’t mind… Heh, heh, heh…

    That is cruel to have the hyenas on chains like that… since the ahndlers are gangbangers, I hope the Hyenas can exact revenge!

    Why be cruel?

  • http://ichiena.blogspot.com Ichiena

    God created man and gave man free will. Free will = ability to choose.

    God is omnipotent, knows all, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He knows what you did yesterday, what you are doing today and what you will do tomorrow.

    So, does His knowing before you “choose” negate your free will?

    Is it “free will” if the choice is based on the knowledge that the alternative is a free pass to hell?

    Mhmm?

  • Ni2

    @VituVingiSana

    :-D I think its crazy keeping those things and if they ever choose to exact revenge… well…
    From the little I know about hyenas… they have one of natures most powerful jaws! I wouldnt want to be on the receiving end of that. As much as they may be “cowardly” after seeing some documentary on them hunting down a deer… all that I can say to people who care to handle them is “All the best!”.

    They would make interesting “guard dogs”. Instead of the usual barking you would just hear alot of “tee hee hee” (laughter). LOL! If you could actually train them like dogs I think that would be avery nice surprise for any ambitious burglar. (reminds me of a guy who kept pythons in the digs to ward off theives).

    @Bomseh
    c’mon give it a try ;-)

  • http://www.kenyanmusings.blogspot.com KM

    Director’s Notes: God has to be one, what being omnipresent and all. The Devil has to be one or it would be confusing. Job has to be one because having more than one Job is very stressful for everyone…..

    LOOOL, seriuously, that is funeeeeee!!!
    why does ‘having more than one job us very stressful for everyone’ crack me. Tehehhe. I am trying to picture your frame of mind when you thought to write that. Crazy is all I can come up with.

    I hope you are keeping well.

  • eclipse

    Since this is the new chat forum i might as well…

    @Ni2
    am cool.yeah this the only joint u can find me. heard the short man who stabs u with a mouse got a promo..pass my regards

    @M
    dont even try n stop us…..if u do start with bomseh and acolyte first

    Hyenas….wldnt mind one of those guarding my pad!

  • Ni2

    @Eclipse
    I shall tell him!

    As for Hyena’s guarding your house. Knowing Kenyans the whole neighbourhood will start calling you a witch doctor coz everyday at night when they pass your house they just hear laughter.

    But then again. I have heard about your so called pad… I wont talk coz I dont have one to call my own… but from what I hear… I dont think it needs much guarding!!! :-p

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    I doubt I could in good conscience vote against a man who has banned the sale of second hand underwear. That’s a thinking man.

  • http://guessaurus.com Guessaurus

    “Chrenyan – Hi – how you been keeping?
    I second whoever said that your comment is deep – it is very very deep – but then again what else could I expect from you, right?
    I heard something on TV the other day – this woman was praying and she said that we are afraid of asking God to forgive us and save us cos we are afraid of what he will ask of us and whether we can actually do it. I am still thinking about that.

    @M – you, I am sure you know, lost it Way Way Way back when – that said though I was laughing my ass off when I heard the story about ngothas – I know a person who is fascinated by ngothas – especially when they …er…
    xxxxx

  • eclipse

    The governement is RIGHTS..ngothas shld neva be second hand………just imajin the stuff pple do their ngothas then u go go buy it…..YUCK!

  • eclipse

    @Ni2
    Wat hav u heard about my pad and how dare u call mi casa worthless :-(

    WAR i declare JIHAD on you!

    @ALL

    am actally beginning to like this “informal/unoffical” chat room

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    OK… I would not want someone else’s ngothas BUT what happens if you can’t afford new ones but need them?

    Woiii… this was not what Aco and I thought this would become… a fully fledged chatroom!

    Anyone seen the Craiglist on M’s blog?

    Gotta go!

    For M: Lakini God hates us or what? Kwanza free will then when we exercise it… KABOOM…

  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    @KenyanAnalyst
    You know, when the thought came to me, I was reminded of this verse: “O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!” I don’t think it is possible to run out of new things to see in the Bible. Thanks for the props.

    @Guess,
    Lovely to hear from you – it’s been a while. I’m fine, thanks. I keep sending salaams, I’m sure they fika. I get yours, too. Thank you very much for the props. I’m quite sure that any fear I (and maybe others) may have of surrendering wholly to God is out of an extremely deficient/erroneous knowledge of Him, His Love, His goodness, His kindness, His lack of ulterior motive. As Tozer has said, “The degree of blessing enjoyed by any man will correspond exactly with the completeness of God’s victory over him.”

    I think it’s time I stood up to be counted, and did a post on something out of the Bible that really moved me. There’s no shortage of those things…

  • eclipse

    Just me trying to get into da Hall of fame……

  • Ni2

    @Sidaki

    Well atleast you can afford to buy new underwear! Oh and since you can afford those who cant should well… do what… go without? Its way cheaper to get 2nd hand… so for the same amount you can get alot more :-D (Im not looking for a fight). As long as that stuff is clean… I dont see the beef. If on the other hand we manage to spread some weird disease… well then I am all for the ban.

    @Eclipse
    Hey! I was just repeating what I heard ;-)

  • Ni2

    @Eclipse

    What do people do in their ngothas??? :-/

  • http://simplyclarah.blogspot.com Klara

    Wow! This is a cool blog!Now I see why u r winnin…, I even have 2 leave my email first! Am amazed..Well, that Ngotha Story I think it’s being fair to the hawkers & the common mwananchi who cant afford buy new ones..Even though I agree with their reasons, I think da best way would have been to warn us on their dangers but not ban sellin em completely!!

  • Ni2

    @Klara

    Welcome to Thinkers!

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    Ni2 – Careful… folks might be upset that ur rolling out the red carpet on M’s blog instead of M…

    M I clear about klara… LOL…

    @Ni2 – Do you really want to know what people do in the 2nd hand ngothas you bought?

    BTW – I am still pissed at how the animals are being treated by the (assumed?) nigerian ganagbangers. I wouldnt mind hearing that one or more of the hyenas got loose and did the gangbangers in.

    That is just cruel…

  • http://www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com VituVingiSana

    I just got “spammed” by some group… anyone else been spammed?
    I might have to change my settings to keep them out but it affects all the other readers!

    So I am “on notice…
    What does that mean?
    Is big brother “watching” me?
    Am I considered anti-NARC just coz I don’t like their politics?
    WTF is a “none affiliate” of the kenyan government?

    Is this Orwell’s 1984?

    http://vituvingisana.blogspot.com/2006/11/nolaw-and-disorder.html

    Swift Boat Kenyans for Truth (SBKT) said…

    Vitu i didnt want to spam you i just want to put you on notice.

    As an organization of young kenyan professionals in kenya and abroad .We are dedicated to the election of Mwai kibaki as president of kenya in 2007 . hence we are hearby putting all bloggers of repute on notice that we aim to shape the agenda and discussion of the coming elections.We know that the internet is key to reaching out to younger kenyans and as a result we aim to dominate and shape the agenda of discussions when it comes to political matters untill the elections are over . you have been duely notified

    *SBKT a fully owned subsidiary of KAR.A none affiliate of the kenyan government

  • Boi

    LOL! Bomesh get with the program. This blog is like a comfortable sitting room where there is nice music, drinks and company.

    And can someone tell Ndesanjo and Global Voices that there is more than one Kenyan blog … can he cover some others?!!

  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com Udi

    Aristotle philosophically put this same concept by semaing if God is so good, why did he then create evil? Let me just sema, i malizanad with Philosophy if i had to analyse that and make sense from it.

  • eclipse

    @Ni2

    u dont jua the stuff that goes on inside ngothas???? think really hard then get back to me!!

  • Ni2

    LOL! my ngothas are not secondhand! (Well thats what Mama Kamau said when I was buying them) :”>

    @Eclipse
    Noop. I have been potty trained (way back then). I stopped going in my pants. So…

    @VituVingiSana
    Well I waited for a while… no one seemed to want to welcome Klara… so I just stepped up and out of politeness said hello. Now if I’ve (unknowingly) stepped on some toes ;-) … I apologise!

    @Boi
    >>This blog is like a comfortable sitting room where there is nice music, drinks and >>company.

    Yes! Thats exactly how this joint is!

  • eclipse

    Wewe Ni2 potty trained….i think NOT!!!!

  • http://www.sidaki.blogspot.com sidaki

    @Ni2
    GoK should start a parastatal to deal specifically with this issue. Either to provide new knickers or to ensure that imported second-hand ones are thoroughly soaked in chlorine. Suggestions for names?

  • http://toiyoi.wordpress.com/ toiyoi

    M
    I enjoy reading some of your posts. I do not know you or your beliefs, but let me offer a little suggestion here and there:

    (i)In High school, if there was a guy much stronger than you, would you make jokes about him and in his face and go scott free?
    (ii)If you met Mr Hon. Minister Michuki, or Hon Biwott and did not care much for him, would you make fun of him and tell him off in his face and not somehow be bitten?

    People read your blog, get ideas and even form opinions. How would you like to know soemtimes in the future that your writings caused a one John Q to have warped ideas about the Lord God? Seems to me that it is prudent not to dance where angels fear to tread. It seems prudent not to misrepresent what you do not grasp.

    Hmm …. Couple of things
    1) Everyone has their own relationship with God and a unique way with which they communicate with Him. Mine happens to be this one — at times jocular and conversational. I do not believe there is anything wrong with that
    2) What gives you the impression that I do not grasp the Job story?

    He will not hold quiltless those that cause others to stray away from the truth. At least that is one thing that i learnt from about the friends of Job who misrepresented God to Job!

    It is everyone’s responsibility to know the truth … anyone who uses one view point to make up their mind can by no means be obeying God’s ultimate command to seek the truth. My aim is to trigger food for thought. It is up to you to pick up the ball and run with it
  • http://toiyoi.wordpress.com/ toiyoi

    M, on:
    (1) Nothing wrong by being conversational, ( in fact i imagine the Lord is mused if when we need to talk to Him we tried not to be ourselves but switched to the use of some “proper language”) BUT something is wrong if the truth comes out distorted, as a joke or not. While to you it may be just another perspective, my concern is those people who may have just heard a whisper here and there about an issue and form a wrong opinion based on your words.(you’d be mazed how many such people there are who think they know what the Bible says about stuff-case in point, how many times have you heard people say that the bible says: “God helps those who help themselves”?)

    (2) You probably do, but the way it comes out in the post (again am worrying about the other people’s perspective) it does not seem to be the case. I hold no monopoly of this truth so you may check with another whom you know and claims( and whose claim you trust) to know the Lord and ask them their opinion on the matter.

    (everyone;s responsibility to know the truth) True, it is everyones responsibility, but we can also influence people’s opinions (why do you blog if this is not possible?), hence the warning in Lk 17:1-3:

    “There will always be temptations to sin(or things that cause others to stray from the truth), but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves!
    ”

    My point is: you generally have good posts. There are also matters of life and death. Why would you venture into such matters if there was a chance by doing so you would cause another to stray?

    If you care about such matters, good, then perhaps i have achieved something. If not, why, i have just wasted your time, thanks for being patient and, just ignore me as a weirdo rumbling about nothing.

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