21

SafariCon

Posted December 17th, 2006 in News by M

You must be living under a rock, or you have no friends (even the type to send annoying forwards) not to have read this little gem

Safaricom is looking for Kenyans working in the US and the UK who would be interested in meeting us to discuss career prospects especially Engineers, however, we will meet any other professional Kenyans who are interested in returning home to work. We will be going to Birmingham, UK the first week of August and to Atlanta in the US during the second week of August.

Let anyone you may know in the US & the UK send me their C.V and I will send them a formal invite along with specific details of where we will be for interviews.

Thanks.

Njeri Kinyanjui

Resourcing Manager

Safaricom Ltd

Tel: 4273527, email:NKinyanjui – at- Safaricom.co.ke

When I received this a few months ago I dismissed it as completely preposterous and deleted it immediately. But like flies to parliament or politicians to a septic tank it kept popping up in my inbox.

And then I read that Ory and Steve Ntwiga have had similar reservations about this little email, that looks like a colossal gaffe on Safaricom’s part.

There are so many things wrong with it it is difficult to know where to start

  1. Most companies have some sort of vetting and approval process of anything that goes out into the public. This process will catch a number of things like:
      • Inaccuracies
      • Ambiguity
      • Shoddy grammar
      • Lack of clarity
  2. A company sweeping looking for “Kenyans working in the UK and the US” and ignoring those working in Germany, Papua New Guinea, Kazakhstan, Barbados, SeaLand and God Forbid, Kenyans working in KENYA needs a swift kick in the seat of the pants. What, pray tell, is wrong with other Kenyans? I like to think that we Kenyans living in Kenya have opposable thumbs and binocular vision and are at least able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
  3. The fact that Safaricom sending its staff to Birmingham and Atlanta to recruit sounds to me that there are people quite adept and manoeuvering themselves into glorious joyriding trips, funded by the company. These are apparently called junkets (Steve, every day I learn something new!) The itemized bills incurred in the recruitment ought to make for some interesting reading.
  4. A company looking for employees whose only criteria is working in the UK and the US, needs another swift kick to the seat of the pants. Either someone is getting a handsome commission on fresh bodies delivered to the payroll or Safaricom has the most forgiving employment criteria on the planet. Clearly it has little interest in prospective employees’
      • Qualifications. Reading, Riting and Rithmetic are good enough.
      • Work Experience. Apparently you don’t need any.
      • What they actually can do. According to the email, any other professionals such as Butchers, fishmongers, practitioners in the field of animal husbandry and pooper scoopers are eligible to be in Safaricom’s gainful employment.

Of course the entire email could have been a fraud, but then again Safaricom are yet to issue a press release on the statement. Plus some judicious inquiries on my part, as well as reading Steve’s post on the issue leads me to believe otherwise.

Safaricom is a company that circumstances force me to tolerate. I have had problems with each and every one of their services, from pre-paid, to post-paid, to GPRS. Their customer care (if any) is legendary for their lethargy. Their boss thinks we are peculiar (But then again our president thinks we are idiots)

Even today I am yet to receive a satisfactory response to the question why you are still charged for an SMS that Safaricom itself merrily informs you it has not delivered. Audacity and temerity are the words of choice that come to mind. At my last insistence I was informed that what I am actually being charged for is the sending of the SMS from my phone to Safaricom’s message center.

That’s about as ridiculous as UPS or DHL charging me for only for delivery from my premises to their headquarters. If they set  it on fire or gremlins eat it — ah well! Tough luck

Yet somehow despite all this they somehow deliver 12 billion shilling profits. There must be something that we are missing.

Be that as it may the resourcing department needs to get serious. Really. Because something stinks. Especially since their site speaks fondly about their “dedication and professionalism of our staff“. Uh huh!

If you did go to the “interview” and are now working for Safaricom, leave a comment.

And speaking of getting serious, Popote Wireless is another company that needs a swift kick to the seat of the pants. Of all the subscribers that I have spoken to, every single one of them subscribed for Internet access, which was the princely sum of 1 shilling a minute. The initial cost was about 17,000 for the necessary hardware.

And as a Christmas bonus to its customers they have trebled their rates, and now you are expected to pay 3 shillings a minute. If anyone from Popote is reading this:

Na na na na,
na na na na,
hey hey hey,

GOODBYE

Now, back to usual programming. Cabinet Tales IV has been crying out for posting …. But later later. Next up — M’s 2006 Annual Awards

AOB

And in other news, (only in Kenya!) it is cheaper to call a Safaricom line from Celtel. Rock on!

Norah Jones – Come Away With Me
  • http://www.ntwiga.net/blog Ntwiga

    M

    You, I see, are on the warpath. Safaricom has incurred the wrath of M and they must pay. The “junket” gem actually came from “da spouse” whose intellect is significantly greater than mine – I am not far removed from the “Reading, Riting and Rithmetic” group.

    My issues with Safaricom are a little simpler – less “mteja”, more coverage. Lower rates would be nice too (people would call more I think) as well as better customer service. After all KES 12B in take-home is not chump change. Spread the wealth people.

    The Fat Albert reference really made me crack up though – “na na na”.

    One last thing – on the wireless front. Look for a big story on my blog on this in the next couple of days.

    Oho? I can hardly wait!

    - Steve

  • http://toiyoi.wordpress.com toiyoi

    I remember being tasked to put up this advert for http://www.mwalimu.com (see here -http://www.mwalimu.com/adverts/safaricomMgrEng_07_07_2006.html)
    I even communicated via email with the Njeri Kinyanjui and checked the safaricom website then to make sure the poster i was given was valid. I did also notice that during the same timeframe, the said advert appeared for several days on nationmedia website.Everything seemed all valid.

    Probably the idea had merits
    {Why USA/UK? I suppose:
    -more kenyan engineers in USA/UK than any other country

    That right there is a very amorphous metric of dubious value. I believe the location of Kenyan Engineers is completely irrelevant. So what if they are in the USA/UK? Does that mean that mean they lose value once they relocate? And does that further mean that nowhere else can produce and host quality engineers? For that one I will require some more convincing.

    -USA/UK to put safaricom on the bleeding edge of technology

    And don’t you think a better source of GSM technology of the platform that we use here would be better found in Finland, for instance?

    -etc
    }
    but from what i hear, it was probably not executed correctly or ….whatever

  • http://gathara.blogspot.com Patrick Gathara

    What do you expect from a company whose top management does not even know the company’s true owners? And they think we’re peculiar? Anyways, I jumped ship to Celtel when they were still known as Kencell and maintaining the “Orgasm Highway” (so called because of the Yes!-Yes!-Yes!… Adopt-a-Light ads) on a portion of the Uhuru Highway. Can’t say I have regretted it.

    =)) =)) =)) Orgasm highway? That’s clever!

    As for switching i’ll give Safaricom another month to get themselves in order and then i’ll see if i can absorb my
    deposit

  • http://Nakeel.blogspot.com Nakeel

    Walalala talk of the art of real killing talent. Yaani kwani US and Uk engineers are taught what that other people in Uzbek and Saudi don’t learn? I guess it is time to sing SafCom waende with their fly biting werevu.

    You know? Ama engineers in other countries are taught about telegraphs?

    Ati no work experience while even if I want to be a cleaner I must posess a minimum of three years to see the Safhouse. bweeee

    :) Not if you’re in the UK and the US!
  • http://www.kenyanmusings.blogspot.com Kenyanmusings

    LOOOL, me got that email and thought, ah well, I am not an engineer.

    Haiya! My dear, Si there are agricultural engineers? Uko!!

    I have also got the ones that ask if I would like to have my Penis enlarged so that “Forget Santa this holiday. You can hit the spot of Mrs. like you never did before and have her sreaming(sic) your name all christmas”, but that is not the point.

    Can you fault me if I know more engineers in France than US and UK combined? Blech! I guess not.

    On related, My houseeeeee, what is it
    with selective coverage? I have never understood how can have full coverage in one section of my house and totally none if I move an inch!!!! wtf!!

    A buddy of mine has to go upstairs to do anything mobile …

    LOOOOOOOOOL@ orgasm highway. Good un!!

    Me i have issues with everything safaricom.
    From roaming promises to “insufficient funds” to send a text when I damn well have 55 bob in my phone, from my experience in post paid….ugghhhhh!

    Tell me about it. They can’t decide how much I owe them. Every person coming on duty gives me different figures. I think they use the latest cutting edge technology for costing — a roulette wheel

    I am buying Celtel lines for all my family and friends so that we can “Make. The switch”

    I’m still digesting the fact that it is cheaper to call Safaricom from Celtel than it is to call Safaricom from Safaricom…

    Happy holidays wewe.

  • http://toiyoi.wordpress.com/ toiyoi

    M,
    I am not defending ‘em. Just wondered aloud what might have been going on on their mind.

    You and me both! What galls me is that someone approved and someone signed it off. Whoa!

    As someone said, if CEO had no idea who owns the company (bull, impossible,he is probably part of the scam), then many dark things can go on without anyone caring.

    I for one don’t for a second buy a word of that. Mr Joseph I have no doubt knows exactly who owns the company
  • I

    Er…. wow..i think every professional in Nairobi ought to be offended if that email is really form Safari com!!

    Someday some one will have to tell me why exactly it is assumed that there are smart people in the US and the UK Only.. personally, i have always looked back to Africa to look for the brightest and most hardworking… but then again, i don’t work for Safari com…

    Apparently Safaricom take Mwai Kibaki’s words to heart when he calls Kenyans (including, persumably, its engineers, “Pumbavus” and looks elsewhere for people. Man, and here I am thinking that being able to walk upright was a major accomplishment! :((

    hmm.. i hope i can get to see this recruiter while they are in the states, i would love to exchange some chose words with her… althou that might leave me feeling worse that i would..

    I wish I was there to have a chat with these hallowed recruiters… I so wish….

    Don’t you hate talking to stupid people?

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    I was also sent that e-mail. Seeing as I am not an engineer, I trashed it chap chap! But I also got to thinking the same thing Ory, Ntwiga and you were; what is the problem with Kenya based engineers? Plus are UK and USA the only places that engineers can be found.

    :( And I was so sure that we had evolved:((

    As for Safaricom as a service provider, the leave alot to be desired. I dont even know why they have the 100 number. When I was in Kenya, I could never get through even if it was 2 am! I also remember how Friday evenings were like gambling when it came to calling because you call more often than not wouldn’t be completed. Don’t even get me started on bouncing SMSs!
    I do know that the taxes levied on Safaricom by the government are exhorbitant but those profit margins just go to show how hard we are being screwed by them.

    Whoever set those taxes must be a Safaricom customer. The taxes must have been decided upon on the Friday before budget!

    As for Popote wireless. Why do so many Kenyan companies follow this trend? Attract clients with a good rate and then screw them over after you have them?

    The email I am writing them ought to live them in no doubt as to what I think of their latest stunt. Perhaps I could offer suggestions as to what they can do with the handset? Hmmm…

    I am waiting for this year’s award with baited breath! Let’s hope some muppet doesnt hijack it and pass it as his own work!

    :D Never say die friend, never say die!
  • http://chondima.blogspot.com Sarah

    I saw the email and trashed it because there is no way it could be legit…. surprise surprise when a few days later I heard that someone actually went for the interview…

    Can’t wait to hear how this ends..

    You and me both!

    M, I have a few suggestions as well for Safcom, on how to make better use of the handsets :-)

    >:)
  • http://bankelele.blogspot.com bankelele

    Was a very unusual advert and am surprised I never got the mail – seeing as I get an offer a day from our West African brodas to mint millions. If genuine, it’s surprising that Safaricom would be recruiting from the US – as you said, why not Finland, or better yet Japan r other Asian countries which are years ahead of the UK/US.

    Sounds to me like very clever people setting up a glorious joyriding holiday at company expense. But who knows! Maybe they’re just that dodgy

    One flaw with American mobile companies is that they offer their customers things which can primarily make money (for them) while other countries mobiles’ offer services (that ‘improve’ lives) and recoup money later once customers are hooked.

    Even the search overseas is crazy itself when you see the value addition that mobileplanet, sasanet and bernsoft are doing right here for mobile companies.
    - thinking seriously about going full time to Celtel in 07

    You and me both! I’m giving serious thought to telling them exactly where they can put their postpaid line…

    - lete Cabinet Tales IV pronto

    Njiani mzee, njiani!!

    - i see the anonymous theological bug post has hit you todaY

    I’ll deal with his/her theology in just a minit … >:)
  • http://gathara.blogspot.com Patrick Gathara

    M, the solid reputation of your “RUTHLESS” spam catcher is under attack!

    Exactly two clicks will sort out our resident theologian … And advice to the same. Dude / dudess, you’ll stand less chance of beign totally nuked if your submitted your gems to a RELEVANT post
  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    Someone was saying Safaricom will be forced to respond to Celtel’s attack. Personally, I believe in making them respond by obtaining (a) new Celtel line(s) pronto! I was always amazed at the clarity of Celtel lines when I used to call them. Now that Celtel has realised that what is important is bulk, and not elitism, they are making good moves. I am voting with my feet, personally. 16 bob a minute to any network all day any day sounds good to me – sembuse 12 bob off-peak.

    In fact Celtel might just bite the bullet and do a Rockefeller and keep their tarrifs precisely half those of Safaricom. That will sure make things hum!!

    Let the price wars begin.

  • http://prousette.blogspot.com prousette

    I received that mail but did not think much of it either. If I’d have known they were interested in all types of engineers well… :D

    Safaricon(!) and I parted ways in 2002 when they ruined my Friday evenings with appalling regularity.

    =)) My dear, si you have peculiar ™ habits?

    I was just looking at the tariffs the other day it costs more calling safaricom to safaricom than celtel to safaricom most of the time.
    We shall not mention the atrocious standing charge I saw in one of the tariff plans whether you use your line or not! Kwani there is a meter to be taken care of like NCC water ?

    The best part with celtel is I can make calls to the last available cent.
    Now I hope celtel will not start misbehaving too.

    Merry Christmas M and Happy 2007

    And a merrier one to you too my dear :-x
  • http://titanseye.blogspot.com titan

    Before you all go gaga about the new Celtel rates, maybe you should be informed of a KES 2.50 ‘call set up fee’ per call.

    I’m on safcom’s Jambo which is still better than the Celtel ‘flatrate’ considering the setup fee.

    True, but what about those on the other tariffs?Taifa for instance at 28.50 a minute?Even with the setup fee that’s a steep price!

    Happy holidays.

  • Qadaffi

    FYI,

    There is already a standing ad on Safcom site under the careers page:

    “Are you a Kenyan student studying Engineering, Telecommunications and Information Technology abroad? Click on the link below to send us your CV and Contact details”.
    kenyansabroad@safaricom.co.ke”

    I still think it is nonsense to insist on students from abroad. What’s wrong with students here?

    I read NO discrimination in that. And did you really expect them to conduct a world tour to recruit? Ha-ha, not even the 12bn profit can cover every country on the map! And who tells you they do not plan to cover additional countries as well? Seems to me that the vitriol poured out here is based on rash thinking.

    In your rush to comment you probably forgot to read the post. I am not talking about their website or their careers page. I am talking about that ridiculous email that got forwarded globally. There is nothing rash about what I have said. Personally I believe that recruitment email smacks of unprofessionalism. Random query: are you speaking from the viewpoint of a Safaricom employee?
    Update Ah yes, your IP appears to resolve somewhere that casts serious doubts as to your objectivity. Care to fill us in on what you know on this matter?
  • http://ichiena.blogspot.com Ichiena

    I saw this and had to read twice. The grammar left me thinking it was a hoax but I’ve since learnt different.

    And what irked me the most, is “however, we will meet any other professional Kenyans who are interested in returning home to work.. What?

    Apparently, they are falling into the trend of some organisations of employing people with specific acquired accents only – someone once argued in support of this that customers of such organisations are more comfortable if spoken to in accents they understand. You cannot argue with such stupidity.

    As for safcom services – the day i realised i had forgetten their helpline, I switched to the “Orgasm Highway” (LOL!) chap chap.

  • I

    M…You know i dont know what made me think they were not serious!! they really are!!
    Ohh.. see.. this is wrong!!

    Your right M… Someone/ somepeople do look down on the professionals in Nairobi…
    I cannot put my disgust in words..

  • Jogoo wa Shamba

    Surprised i havent seen the email.I dont get it,first it was students studying abroad and now its engineers working in UK and US?? May be its time we taught Mr.Joseph and his ilk just who exactly is buttering their bread.
    I will make it a personal pursuit to rally as many of my buddies to make the big switch to celtel.

  • Proud Nyeuthi

    I got that email. Deleted it and moved on. I have to read between the lines in the future. You have given me some food for thought.

  • Its what Im thinking

    I will not comment about Safaricom’s service – your all right it stinks and we are all moving to Celtel.

    But I differ with you about the initiative to recruit professionals abroad. We are always talking about brain drain in Africa and how that is really sad. For many years there have been many initiatives to RETURN QUALIFIED AFRICANS to take part in developing their countries. International Organisations such as IOM/World Bank even had/have a specific program to support this initiative but they were bringing back the “The Dream Team” sorts for high level government jobs – but these were very expensive for most African goverments .

    Multinationals in Africa are the next group trying to support the Return of Qualified Africans to reverse brain drain for sometime now. For those of you in the UK, I am sure you have heard of the Careers in Africa recruitment events and I personally know quite a number of Kenyans who have benefitted from this. I know of many young people in the diaspora who would love to come back and work in Kenya but they are a little afraid that they may not get a good job when they come back. Initiatives like that of Safcom and most of the other major multinational players in Kenya recruiting abroad is that they give these Kenyans a chance. Before I sound like Safcom PR na hawanilipi. I just have one little beef with all these companies, they seem to fast track the careers of those who have trained abroad and that I think is plain wrong. Although many reasons may be given for this, better accent, they know how to eat weetabix (I know of a rural gal straight A’s student 1st class honours from our local uni’s who missed a MT position with a multinational coz she thought Weetabix was a biscuit at a recruitment weekend).

    Enough said I think

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