The Demise Of M
21
February
Ladies and gentlemen, I am deeply troubled. There is being out of the loop and then there is being out of the loop.
This morning, I sat down for a nice breakfast with today’s paper and imagine my surprise on reading that I was shot by the police at 2:00 AM on Tuesday morning! You can imagine my acute consternation! Todate no one has had the decency to tell me to my face that I had been shot dead in Athi-River! So I have been happily going around my business alive and kicking!
The whole fiasco has made me rearrange my perspective on just who my friends are! I mean, letting me walk around in robust health, enjoying healthy meals and cold drinks, allowing me to be the very epitome of good cheer all the while neglecting to tell me that I had been riddled with bullets the night before, and my body is on a cold slab at the City Mortuary! You just don’t know who you can trust anymore!
Comic Of The Day
Let no one accuse Dr. Alfred ‘Babyface’ Mutua and the Kibaki administration of lacking in humour. They have just issued a PDF booklet that enumerates the achievement of the Kibaki Government. This document is 56 pages long, and I leave it to you, dear reader, as an exercise, to tell me just how many of those pages are photographs of Baba Jimmy. I like to think there is a vast difference between Lucy’s husband and the Government of this country!
That state funded Kibaki campaign document collection of achievements has made me forget my untimely demise, because it is the poster child for rose coloured glasses. Among the many gems contained therein is this one:
Yes, women, you have been guaranteed A THIRD of all public employment opportunities. I’ll give you a chance to name any public institution administration and tell me just what percentage are women. Also, O ye mothers and children, Emilio and his administration list as one of their achievements, recognizing you as key players in development!
It even documents some ambitious projects that must turn Europe and America green with envy - we have built an airport for our fish!
Doofus Of The Day
Ndimu Kamangu went to court to secure, among other things, his conjugal rights from Bishop Margaret Wanjiru. Very conveniently around Valentine’s Day … Apparently, flowers and chocolate are no longer foolproof. No doubt our Bishop will never read the verse “For no man knoweth the hour of the coming of the son of man” quite the same way again!
Notorious B.I.G & KoRn - Wake Up
1. egm
(68 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Yaani Michuki finally caught up with you! You can run, but you can’t hide from the rattlesnake!
For Mr. Kamangu, I heard that Kimunya was kicked out of his ministerial position, and that come budget day this year, Mr. Bishop will deliver the goods to Kenyans. That there is just a warm-up pose in anticipation.
2. prousette
(143 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 2:46 pm
If you had any decent bone left in your body -of course if you had been riddled with bullets it would not matter- you would stay dead. What is wrong with some of you?
The government should investigate how Matheri came to be.Before him there was wanugu and Wacucu so there is more where he came from.
re:recognition of women and children as key players etc tis’ a small step he could have done worse.
3. dp
(6 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Fare thee well brother.
Hope you will come back to haunt us.
Didnt know there are newspapers in the after world!
4. Unyc
(7 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Lol…newspapers in the after world.
Dude u hv nine lives or what!! Or is it one of those Genies that Aco was talking about!!
Return of the M…Ghost Edition.
56 pages of a PDF document…let me get the hard copy.
5. Aizoh
(6 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Yaani you’ve been a thug on the run? Well, siku arobaini zilifika.There’s a better picture of Kamangu in today’s paper. The guy’s really styling up. Shades and all.Shows what exposure can do to a man. Kuchanuka.
6. acolyte
(179 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 4:29 pm
I warned you time and again to get a real job but you refused! Now see what has happened!
As for that document, I think it is an announcement of what they wish they could do and not what they are planning to do or have done.
Who says you cant say alot and at the end of the day saying nothing?
Kamangu should just get his 3,000/= back, keep his new suit and disappear before he looks and sillier than he does now.
M, remember that crime kills!
7. Shiroh
(35 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Finally!!!!
8. Udi
(78 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Kumbuka when I told you that GSU were watching you. You thought i was crazy. Me and Michuki are homeboys. He told me about it.
I read that article about the achievment booklets and whoever came up with that idea needs to be sent to the gallows. Which children are involved in development by the way? Michuki and Karume miay act like children, but they are over 90 years old
As for the conjugal rights, is he packing condoms in the briefcase?
9. banekele
(39 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 5:37 pm
the first post I have read by a dead man. As egm says, “M was warned”!
10. modoathii
(4 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 5:41 pm
DIE! DIE! DIE!
ulidhani what? ulidhani utahepa mpaka when? think msee. lakini ni watu wako walikuseti. dance with the wolves na utamangwa msee.
that doofus makes my day just looking at him. LOL!
(i’m thinking i’m liking this room)
11. donworry
(57 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Well then. What a great relief for this fan to see that early reports of your demise were highly exaggerated. I don’t know who fares worse, the cops or the media. This are the same cops who thought they had eliminated a certain gangster Only to find he was still terrorising the city or the papers, sometimes the only truth that they print is the price….hahaha
12. archer
(1 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Haaaiaa?!! You survived the shootout? Man you’re taff!! Ama hii ni posthumous blogging? (I wouldn’t be surprised coz now we have CBP blogging *comments bila post* so perhaps you decided to take things a bit further) I was just enquiring over your whereabouts on my blog.
13. Gish
(44 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 6:08 pm
how is life beyond? Clearly you didn’t learn now did you… Love idea of the son of man. Got me thinking even if granted conjugal rights what will he do make her do it? the am trying to visualize the two of them getting it on.. Naah
14. JKE
(52 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 6:16 pm
“technicians at a mobile phone company detected his location”
Atereere…there u go. Btw, “dusty down?”
M, now, since you r dead…what can u bring for us from heaven?
15. VituVingiSana
(175 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I hope this gives you an impetus to blog often… so we know michuki hasn’t gotten to you… yet…
Well, it’s good to know our M is still up & kicking!
16. Mocha!
(29 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 6:26 pm
LOL….someone should think of changing their name. The again….free publicity, etc.
As for the doofus pic….ROFLMAO!!!
17. Jogoo wa Shamba
(73 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Chief,you must have a lineage of phantom blood. One moment i am reading an “obituary”, and the next… you have resurrected?! Badilisha jina!!
18. pewaushibe
(1 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Lake Victoria Nile Perch is on sale at my local supermarket here in NSW Australia. Its rare to see “Product Of Kenya” label in this part of the world.
Emillio, hiyo ni maendeleo.
19. Magaidi
(42 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 8:00 pm
M, mzee ya! ‘I see dead people’. Did I not warn you those clandestine operations at Athi River would send one or two constables your way? The funny part about this story too was that the cops say he was shot when he tried to load his AK at the door. If he had an AK and was ready for a fight, why would he be loading after opening the door? M, perhaps you should answer that coz you were together. What kind of plan is that?
20. Chrenyan
(143 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 9:01 pm
This gave me a right good belly-laugh - thanks. And out of curiosity, M, just how high are the temperatures down there?
Am I the only one who is still trying to bend my mind around the idea that Matheri felt the need for a bodyguard? To protect him from who, exactly? Himself?
21. I
(120 Comments) | February 21st, 2007 at 10:28 pm
you sure you were not shot M?!? How could the Media be wrong?!!? that blood looked aii.. alot like you dude..
ha ha ha ha..
With the airport in Kisumu Fish will reach the market?!!? what?
Kwani how has fish been getting to Kismum farmers market? ama fish will be flown from the Lk Victoria’s basin to the shores!?!!
22. Gathunuku
(7 Comments) | February 22nd, 2007 at 1:08 am
Guarantee women a third of all public employment opportunities? Empowerment is one thing entitlement quite another
23. Mitzy
(15 Comments) | February 22nd, 2007 at 2:06 am
M, now it finally makes sense, this change to a snow white template was meant to coincide with this spontaneous visit to the angels. Good to have you back.
As for that Kibaki booklet, that preface letter by Alfred Mutua is a bunch of hogwash. His favorite phrase in the document seems to be “But hey, don’t take my word for it”
Heee, its nice to know we now have flying fish!
24. Whispering Inn
(26 Comments) | February 22nd, 2007 at 3:43 am
Ha ha ha! Very funny!
25. odegle
(10 Comments) | February 22nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
you know i wud like the court to grant kamangu his conjugal rights jst so that we can know how the order gets effected
26. Patrick Gathara
(38 Comments) | February 22nd, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Good to see Kinjeketile’s magic water worked.
Anyways, I had also posted on the launch of the document. Specifically the statement contained therein that if the current pace of socio-economic development is maintained, Kenya would attain a First World status by 2030. This Mutua fellow is spinning out of control (pun very much intended).
Enough brazen self-promotion. I belatedly beg your leave. Great post as usual.
27. TeeJ
(28 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 am
wooii u r so mean! Ati ‘doofus of the day’ LOL! Yani the guy is a joke…I don’t believe he has the audacity to ask for conjugal rights. Thing is, does he even know what that is or are his lawyers having a field day with him?
28. Klara
(13 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 11:18 am
LOL! This comments are crazy! Ati kama kuna Newspapers in da after-world?? That was a bomb!
Kamangu’s story juzz keeps me rollin.Maybe he shld take Acoltye’s advice n dissappear b4 he’s granted those rights!!LOL
Have juzz bin readin that PDF document & that’s campaign *Crap!*
29. gracelet
(30 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 2:02 pm
M, if it was not you who was shot, i think you have a great lawsuit! Money was poured, your good name( Initial?) spoilt. Sue gava and the fake M - your chances of success against both are equal!!
If on the other hand you are actually dead… can I give you a message for some of my relas up/down there??
Kamangu is going to storm Bishops house with police men to enforce the court order!
30. Klara
(13 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Bt dat achievement PDF Doc has a nice layout & Great Pix. That’s all
31. aegeus
(79 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Watch your tail a guy, they may be back hunting you down when they notice that you are still huku online. Hehehehe!
That Kamangu guy, let him be, looks worse as the days wear on. Where the hell was he before the other dude declared his love for his beau?
32. dantoz
(1 Comments) | February 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm
well M.let’s say your days of rubbing the kibaki regime the wrong way are up.same way they tracked you via phone is the same way they’ll track you here.Nikuuzie firewall?
33. Brainz
(52 Comments) | February 24th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Dang Bro!! yaani u didnt get that text i sent about your kifo? kweli u must have kuffd.
I AM HOLDING A BASH TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF M!!!!! SHEREHE SHEREHE.
All are invited.
34. Cheri
(1 Comments) | February 24th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Hilarious! The comments are a good read on their own. So M, tell me, did the bullets penetrate? Or they just bouced off. Like u’re rubber and the cops are glue!!!
U’re Jack Bauer’s re-incarnation in blogville.
35. joe
(78 Comments) | February 24th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
‘M’ it wasnt you lol i must admit i was laughing when i read that ‘m’ had been gunned down but not coz i thought it was you . just the irony that it could be you with all the rants you have over the months had against mr michuki.
Incidentaly i see the cyber political wars are still going on .
Might ‘M’ be involved in the attacks on kalonzo website seeing as you are a confirmed raila strategist.What is becoming with ODM not that Narc K is doing better ! anyway its always good news to hear you are still alive and kicking .Just remember not to kick too hard .
Cheers ‘M’ i can assure you having personally spoken to michuki you are in good hands ,a national asset such as yourself should be protected despite your regular rants
36. VituVingiSana
(175 Comments) | February 27th, 2007 at 12:53 am
The name’s M. Just M.
Grin… could this be you?
37. eclipse
(110 Comments) | March 7th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
haha RIP M. we will sorely miss u!
38. Sue
(12 Comments) | March 20th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Eigh!! kamangu there looking like the next Finance minister on his way to read the budget.. Funny!1
i ask like Aegeus.. Where was he for all those years.. He should just let the Bishop be.. Sometimes I think it’s political
39. home assumable loans in
(1 Comments) | January 8th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
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