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Chart Attack

Posted March 9th, 2007 in Reflections by M

Politics

Now that the ODM leading lights are in London, it would be good if the NARC-K big-wigs set off for Washington. We, the people, and the climate, could do without the hot air. Really.

Religion

I am giving serious thought to giving up Lent for Lent

Education

I for one am very bitter that while I had to find the square root of 0.02323434545 using green log tables and a ruler, my brother who sat for the exams last year used a green Casio that could even draw graphs.

Radio

It seems that any doofus can and does become a radio presenter. My friend K bitterly asks me why she, and I quote,

… pissed away 4 years of my life studying journalism and mass communication and now all it takes to become a radio presenter is to release an atrocious song on radio and be labeled a ‘celeb’ by weekly local rags written and edited by half wits like the ‘Pulse’ and ‘Buzz’

Coincidences

Having a minister called Kimunya, a permanent secretary called Kinyua, an Assistant Minister called Kenneth (from Gatanga), a central bank governor called Ndungu, a Capital Markets Authority boss called Waruingi, and a Revenue Authority Commissioner General called Waweru, it becomes very convenient for the Finance Ministry as a whole to conduct its meetings in Kikuyu over a light snack of nduma. This I am sure is a coincidence. let us graph the status quo:

Carpets

Oh if the carpets at the Nation Media Center could talk!

Economy

According to the Government, the economy grew by 6%. But what they don’t tell you is where the money went.

Allow me:

Presidential Opinion

President Kibaki thinks very little of his people. Very little indeed

John Mayer – Gravity

  • WathiiFm

    I’d believe that this is the after effect of the Kenyan police bullet.Seems heaven or Hell(uko wapi) is doing u justice with the charts.

  • http://kadhat.blogspot.com egm

    You’ve been busy with Excel, I see!

    At first I was like you, bitter I had to use log tables instead of the calculator. Then I came to the US where by the time you were in uni you were expected to have mastered the graphing calculator, since that was used in all maths classes. Now I am semi-regretting why that was the case, and have began a mathematical re-education to master some of the basics. It’s a mixed feeling type thing for me. I see where it is necessary for routine calculations, but I also see how I can misuse it for even the tiniest of calculations that might be quicker to do mentally than keying it in! So during this phase or re-education I am on a calculator-fast.

  • http://alexcia.blogspot.com/ alexcia

    Have you mastered the excel spreadsheet yet?

    Lol on those stats, you must be taking soem stats or mat classes, no?

  • http://tallb.wordpress.com/ aegeus

    Since chart analysis is not my strong point i shall save myself the headache. :-) I am with EGM on the use of calculators…too bad it took me so long to realize the value of mental calculations and judicious use of log tables…i have a shopkeepers’ calculator in the office to use for dimensioning layouts…big keys**hint hint**…i remember spot searches for calculators in high school…not pretty…they should be banned again!

    I was wondering what was causing all the “Kenya warming”. It has been rather hot lately…hehehheh…no words about the carpets in Nation Centre…tsk! tsk!

  • I

    oh.. Hell No!! now i am bitter too!!
    I had half that log book memorized and to this day I have to keep myself from dreaming about it.. and now kids are using calculators?!!?
    I think i need to sit my exams again..

    I love those graphs… Your words very entertaining, but your graphs, those are PRICELESS!!

  • http://mountkirima.blogpot.com Kirima

    I see you have mastered Excel for Dummies nice charts especially on the political doofuses. Since I was a dud in Maths I would definately have wished to have the calculators Im so envious.
    Radio Celebs and Journalists in Kenya have become the biggest embarassments.

  • http://gishungwa.blogspot.com Gish

    “becomes very convenient for the Finance Ministry
    as a whole to conduct its meetings in Kikuyu over a light snack of nduma” ROFLMAO
    NOw Aegeus, is that one of those that have a beep when you press key, i see you now LOL…

  • eclipse

    We could do without the hot air.

    as for calculators…….no wonder u cant find any competent kid out there nowadays!!!!

  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com Chrenyan

    I am now going to produce a chart that will show that the reason we no longer have any space in our public universities is directly related to the use of calculators in high school mathematics… Those of us who can still remember that the logarithm of 2 is 0.3010 and 4 is something like 0.6771 or something are not happy. NOT happy.

    Great to have you back!

  • VituVingiSana

    Gotta move on… sigh… those log tables & what a pain they were BUT doesn’t the use of calculators put those who can’t afford them at a disadvantage?

    Graphing… esp the doofuses… Me thinks Michuki is still looking for you!

  • http://Nakeel.blogspot.com Nakeel

    I prayed for the ODM weaverbirds to go only for almost half to say they are staying. I wish we can move the flowers and Oranges to mars. The pain of Maths table for log and Socatoa (Sine, Cosine,Tan.
    Riu ii Kimunya tukinye mushemanyoni… LMAO the shiling am praying.

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    Oooooh fun and games with excel! The less said about the puff bags we call MPs the better! I remember the good old log book days, we once had a prefect who would study one.
    I do like your analysis of the top dogs from Central, I hadn’t given it any thought till now.
    Very poignant statistics, I think it is about time you applied to Steadman for employment! :D

  • http://www.mwaikibaki.mobi Not OneOfThem

    Ever heard a Narc-Kenya singer saying something positive about anyone at ODM-K? See this(http://www.mwaikibaki.mobi) for an example of when they did or is it just another of those jokes?

  • http://www.ajkenswi.blogspot.com Adrian

    since my talents don’t include mathematics, i’m grateful for the calculator.

    i even had trouble understanding most of your excel charts… (except the pie-charts, they’re easy)

  • TeeJ

    lol! Nice graphs! I loathed graphs tho’!

    Aiaiai Nakeel has chekeshad me with ‘socatoa’. Totally forgot about that! So now no more red log books? I thot they were cuter than the green ones:-)

    M, I was wondering if and how u’d bring up the whole Nation drama. The whole thing has been entertaining…I wish it wasn’t real but I think we all know that shit happened!

  • Jogoo wa Shamba

    mmmh… someone seems to have gone fishing in the excel bayou. Not bad, not bad at all.

    On radio – is there no honour left in our media houses anymore? i think someone needs a smack on their thick head.

  • http://prousette.blogspot.com prousette

    “Extra-ordinary dictation” LOL now what on earth would that be?

    With the aid of a calc I surely would have gotten that A in math.

  • udi

    M- They should not come to Washington. The air here doesnt need all the pollution coming from those fools.

    LMAO about kenyan presenters. I am about to toa a song so that I can become a capital presenter. that job is off the hook since I dont have to master basic english

  • http://nyarshady.blogspot.com mamashady

    some of us…calculator or not…eh!went through a course where we had to buy some other gadgets!the manual alone should have told us that things weren’t going to look good come exams!as for the media..(mumble, grumble)

  • http://www.unycjollity.blogspot.com Unyc

    The logbook….cosine sijui what…argghhh!! I did accounts in my KCSE. Since we were the first class 2 sit for an accounts paper in the history of that skul, they declined we use calculators even after other schools use them. Y? They were not sure if we were 2 use them yet they hd asked us 2 by Casio calcs!!!

  • http://www.unycjollity.blogspot.com Unyc

    Oh n those r sme well illustrated charts. Gd use of Excel…lol.
    As 4 the Kikuyu’s operating Kenya’s finances…he economy speaks for itself.

  • http://themobiusstrip.wordpress.com Wambui

    Love the charts. The image of ndumas a la mode at Central Bank is priceless.
    Radio presenters grrr…
    Log books were just evil. Trying to read the right figure off the tables in full scale math exam panic could kill you.

  • http://blog.nubianunderground.com/wp andai

    ahh.. the log tables book… brings back lots of fond memories… Now we just need to help you a bit with those graphs…

  • http://katewolf.blogspot.com Kate

    But can you make an excel chart that dances?

    Hope all’s well in nchi ya kitu kidogo.

  • http://justsue.wordpress.com Sue

    The Kikuyu Financew Ministry made my day.. :D
    Eh! and you’re good at ecel, seems those packages classes din’t go so badly on you..hihihi..
    The NMG carpets have surely seen all the porn this world could hold I guess.. but what are we to say if the guys we trust to give a future to some of us can’t keep their zips closed??.. :(
    About econy, I say like Unyc.. with all those Kiuks in Finance, what do you eKspect?? :D