Few things are as sacrosanct as the institution of morning radio. One cannot set down to work without a morning shot of radio. People are going out of their way to even buy mobile phones that have radio facilities.
The fare is wide
Classic FM
Classic’s morning show is the usual two host format. Currently this is Maina Kageni and Mwalimu Kingangi.
Pros
- Classic has excellent music.
- Mwalimu Joseph King’ang’i. This guy just cracks me up. Really. The man is just hilarious. What makes him especially funny is that he thinks on his feet (or should I say seat).
- Every morning they normally discuss some domestic situation that hapless listeners find themselves in. The part in all of us that secretly delights in our neighbour’s slippage on a banana seems to thrive off this.
Cons
- Most of the discussion topics are aimed squarely at the mature listener. God, making full use of his excellent sense of humour, generally has you sitting between two nuns when a caller has the self sacrifice to offer himself to attend to a caller whose problem is her significant other is not rising to the occasion in the noble sport of bedminton sufficiently enough
- The audience is getting increasingly incredulous at the problems presented
KISS 100 FM
One of the oldest breakfast shows that pioneered the two host, one serious one comic format. Currently these are Caroline Mutoko and Nyambane
Pros
- When the presenters shut up for a minute, the music is generally not that bad.
Cons
- Impossibly large array of impossibly inane competitions
- Even more impressive array of amazingly irritating jingles and sound effects
- Continuously insisting they have a repertoire of fresh hits and then playing (to Death) James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful
- Nyambane’s act grew old circa 2000, but KISS is blissfully unaware of this
- Caroline Mutoko’s carefully cultivated nasal accented speech, peppered liberally with “darlings” and “sweeties” make long waits in traffic seem that much longer.
- Their news team’s primary source of news is the BBC’s RSS news feed and copies of the day’s Nation and Standard.
- Carol Radull always sounds like she’s about to burst into laughter. Ergo she should not be reading news about plane crashes, Mungiki beheadings, etc
- Yesterday (22 May) There was a brief discussion that stunned all and sundry. Carol and Nyambane called a listener who had sent an SMS confessing that her boyfriend told her that her vagina was bitter. Nyambane wanted to know what the boyfriend was doing over yonder. Carol was full of helpful advice. Myself I was full of the breath of air I was keeping in to keep from bursting into laughter because as fate would have it I was sitting next to a nun.
CAPITAL FM
The original (bring bring) breakfast show, riding the coat tails of the good old days of Phil Matthews and Alex Belfield.
Pros
- When the presenters shut up for a minute, the music is generally not that bad.
- Seanice has a nice voice.
Cons
- Impossibly large array of impossibly inane competitions
- Even more impressive array of amazingly irritating jingles and sound effects
- Fareed is a shadow of the man he used to be on Drive.
EASY FM
Forever chasing the shadow of their best time, when Munene, Teddy and Ngatia run the show. Those three gents were loonier than Roocy Baks. The infamous saga of Members of Parliament being spotted on Koinange Street soliciting from … er … vendors peddling their wares in the night inspired these gents to dedicate to parliament as a whole Ludacris’ Area Codes. 10 – nil. Currently hosted by one Ciku (Not this one I hope!!!)
Pros
- Memorable name
Cons
- Presumably the people who are busted on the “busted” segment do not own radios. And if they do, they do not listen to Easy FM. Or if they do, always do it after the morning show.
- The host is enamored of Paula Dean and plays this bloody song at every opportunity.
- The presenter is always talking. Always. All the time.
IN GENERAL
- Traffic updates form all stations are of negligible value. Telling us that there is traffic on Thika road is not telling us anything
- Contrary to what most stations think (especially KISS), none have any power to summon the traffic police
- The proliferation of brain dead games and competitions is a bit much
- Less talk and more music please!
- Bitter vaginas are best handled at night. I’m sure that 5,000 or so small boys in cars and school buses asked horrified adults what exactly a vagina is, and what is wrong with a bitter one
Walanguzi – Crazy
Haiya! Number one!!! (Checks around, Pinches self its true!)
Me too Classic rocks zingine zote no way!
Am sure no one else preceded me here!!!!!!!
(Runs around sees tree stump goes there and with one leg raised marks my territory)
Muko wapi!!!!!!!!
The traffic updates would crack me up everytime one was given. You could almost say it in sync with them, since they seemed to say the same exact thing all the time!
Very nice summary I echo you on the more music less talk motion. I personally only listen to capital and you hit it on the head when you said that Fareed is a bit off. (we don’t catch Classic this sides)
But is it just me or are there no new voices in the last 2 years?
Touching base! ;)
Morning is Kiss, after work drive is Capital. Most of the day (and all weekend) is Classic 105 for the non-stop music. For some readon, car radio does not catch BBC which would I’d also give much airtime (for world news & sports)
LOL that list of kiss cons. I have often wondered whether they broadcast from another universe to warrant their blissful ignorance.
Yep, those traffic updates are more like traffic constants.
LOL at Ciku!
M- Its the same Ciiku. I have undercover info that she does it online from her base in US. LMAO.
Since us guys dont skiza kenyan morning radio (unless people actually wait till midnight to listen to capital), i usually tune in to evening radio. and friday evening with DJ Gich is the bomb. Friday is not friday without capital.
Give me Classic any time. I tried listening to Easy FM one good Sunday morning and by mid-day, that James Blunt song had played like 4 times – no kidding!! bloody bastards have ruined the song, i was beginning to like it :(
@Kiss – don’t know whether those guys carry out opinion polls coz if they did, Nyambane would have been history like 4 years ago. LOL at “bitter vagina” , pity the poor guy
Marking territory. Will be back with a proper comment….
Udi… youse a damn fool!… LOL
@ M… I can assure you, that if it were me, you would be hearing Jon B in excess.. lol……
I remember the days of Phil Matthews…. Man… whatever happened to him, me wonders?
Wonderful summary, it is good to know what I am missing or not missing!
The only station I get to listen to is Capital because they are the only station that streams online, kiss has a great looking website but no streaming online at all! Sheesh!
As for Busted and all these other prank shows, I have thought the same thing, don’t these people have radios. And yes even when I was in Kenya there was always one game/competition running on those stations.
As for bitter vaginas, I do hear drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruit and cutting down on dairy products should fix that; so I heard.
@ ciiku
Last I heard Phil Matthews went to New Zealand.
Bleurgh! Gaggety gag!!! I heard about bitter vagina and I could no longer eat the banana I was having for breako!!. Whuot! was it me or did it digress into diet and how she ate a lot of sea food? Tihiii. In my head I was thinking…when you say bitter, are we talking, lemon bitter, sea salt bitter, panadol bitter or God forbid, quinine bitter?
Good analysis. Me I think Fareed is misunderstood cos he has to be the funniest mutha on radio!!! Even Munene is funny but erm, you know, the power of three worked better.
Classic or capital for me. They talk too much on Capital but the music is all that.
Mwalimu of Classic. LOOOOOOOL, hehehhhe, he is so INFURIATING!! mwehe, him and his accent! On a certain level though, I wonder at what point he (and all the other sidekicks) should draw the humor and serious issues line because his standpoint on some stuff is seriously warped and outrageous!!…..well…. hurtful, complacent, makes one despair on human beings.
Do you hear the angry mamas who call into the show sometimes. Woiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. “ambia huyo Mwalimu yeye ni mbwa bila mkia’. Ngood taims!!!
Nyambane….*sigh* that one is a pensioner but there was this time he kept saying “tuff soap” and no one had a clue, and he was asked to spell, he went “tee-oo-fee-ii”. Two hours later, it was “Dove soap”. LOL, that one had me on a giggle train.
Could that Ciiku be any more boring and bogus!! WTF is she doing on radio? She stopped busting people vile she would call and start faking issues then the chap on the other end would go “Ciiku? ni wewe? hiyo ni Easy?. Sitaki hiyo mchezo yenu” Muahahahhhhahah! Busted is busted!!!
Less talk, more music…ditto!!!
I avoid Kiss and that Easy FM,just so that I don’t end up hating my favorite songs!!! Ugh, after every 5 minas, “I make it rain ho’ I make it rain. Your boyfriend is lame, he has no umbrella” *shrugs, is that what they say??*
There’s as blog for ya. i hope you are a happy camper? Keeping well? tea in one hand, nun to the left, to the left….
Let me axe, What are you always doing sitting next to nuns you runaway priest? Do they remind you of what booty you could be soliciting for? LOOOL.tihiiii. I wouldn’t know…LOL, Shrine of Satan and all.
enyewe, Ciku nice voice, no talent- on radio at least. Sorry darling,
Kiss where to start.. i gave up on you kitambo so carry on!
Capital i like you guys nice music lakini too many informercials/interviews (in the morning). can’t you tone it down kidogo? pretty please just play the damn music already
@ acolyte – phil matthews yuko hapa sasa http://www.theradioacademy.co.ke/
I will say Ciiku is too boring.
You know, i thought i was the only one who felt this way!
http://odeglenyanginv.blogspot.com/2007/05/running-away-from-fms-in-my-life.html
-This morning on Classic I listened to a conversation about how it would be wrong to stick your unborn child with such horrible names as Thomas, Boniface and Matthew.I wonder how Mrs Boniface felt when her darling son’s names were so dissed!!
- Ive heard announcers say things like” as if anyone in Kericho has a webcam’ or ‘he must have gone to some shady school like Garbatula’ despite the fact that the station airs all over the country and not just in posh Nairobi( if I sound like a shagsmodo- another well loved phrase -its probably because I am)
- I have no problem with people having salacious discussions, but I do get very upset when they allow callers to say really demeaning things about women, people living with HIV AIDS, people with disabilities etc all in the name of entertainment.Some limits have to be set
-OK I have to ask… are any of those people calling in with problems for real?? I cant believe that anyone with a genuine problen would think for a moment that King’ang’i or Shiku or Nick Odhiambo would have any real solutions!!!
- WTF is the name of that guy who sounds like a cross between a revving motorbike and a really bad wrestling announcer? Is it Raman Young, Rama Nyang, Ram Anyang, Ra Manyang or RRRRRRRR Amanyang.
- Does the fact that a station plays a song for the first time make it fresh and new even though it was released a few months ago? And how long can a song be played before it ceases to be brand new?
- Is it financially impossible for news rooms to hire at least one staff member who understands English grammer? Im far from being an expert and yet even I can spot mistakes a mile away !!
Sorry M for the long post but this topic gets ne foaming at the mouth !!
Big ups!!!!
You made my day.
Nyambane has been the funnist guy in the morning,but the butter vigina thing is….. bitter!You’ve blated him.Could they all just speak less or nothing at all?For Carol,laugh first before comming on air,I was thought it was a talent before you got to my nerves!!
Dind’t the nun burst into tears?lol!!
I gave on these FMs. There is too much crap. BBC will not let you down.
@gracelet
I agree with you on most of what you have raised.
You would be amazed how many people are wandering (aka sheep without shepherd, to borrow from Christ) and people actually seek solutions from may places. I think most of them actually believe these media “answers” are actually real answers to real problems.
Maybe a caring “activist” or an MP should persuade parliament to pass a law that checks what is aired out there. In the US, the broadcast media (TV, radio) are always careful with warnings about their content and they do get sued if some clueless listener is affected by anything they(media) projected as reality.
Classic rocks for all times and let truth be told though sometimes i happen to doubt whether the vibe is for real.As for Nyams…. a nice retirement package would do him good.
As a (past) regular listener / fan of Howard Stern, I think radio here is quite fair. They are having egular conversations
@bankelele, how true! They have nothing on Howard Stern, that’s for sure.
ha ha ha ha!!! Now i too i am interested in knowing what that bitter virgina was all about…
But on the real, freedom of speech has its reponsibilities some crap need not be mentioned at certain times on the radio..
And show hosts need to get radio talk shows if they want to be on the radio for 2hrs running their mouths..
Kiss and Easy fm are the epitome of pure ‘boring’ (if i may say so) when it comes to radio. The frequency at which they can repeat the same song in a span of an hour is to say atleast irritating! They are very good at making good songs boring.
capital is good, but it could be made better by cutting the number of commercials.
ati bitter va***a !!!! WTF !!!!!
RANT: As far as im concerned not even Dante could conjure up anything as malign as the drivel that is on morning radio.I go out of my way to completely avoid it and as someone who uses public transport i can tell you its damn near impossible.I understand free to air radio needs commercial and i can live with them but i have one question….do they really need those blathering idiots that are the hosts?and those people who call in with ‘issues’, GET A LIFE!! those radio hosts are not even qualified to be journalists or whatever their professional description is, let alone give life advice.. sheeesh!!! i’d better stop, im foaming at the mouth…
I miss classic mornings…aki that mwalimu and maina used to crack me up! I wonder why they’re not online…
I listened to them during the Margret Wanjiru saga and all I could think of was those guys are ‘gongiz’
Totally on point I think the programme producers and so called Head of radios will read this.But will some see out because some Radio bosses will miss some Sambazas and Chakazas.
As for Easy I dont think there is a station there those are guys wasting Aga Khans money he can build another empire with it.
The best voice on radio is the lady’s voice that says “Classic 105″ in sound byte. I’ve thought this for two years.
It is not only Easy FM that are trying to reach the pinnacle of those three chaps. Nothing in Kenyan radio has since attained those heights! Those days there was no bickering over who to listen to.
As for Classic, it has long been my opinion that they pay guys to call in with the most LUDICROUS stories. Someone needs to take censoring seriously in this country. I mean, just imagine if you’re taking your young daughter to school when such things are being discussed!
I liked listening to Wambui wa Githongo and Peninah Mwangi on Inooro eFu-eeM. They made my stay in Embu memorable. I sometimes listened to Coro eF-eeeM. I regret not buying mugiithi CDs. Sometimes I log in to Kameme FM online just to listen to mugithi.
walalalalala, that is the truest stuff ive read in a while. Kingangi really is the only worthwile thing on radio, also that Capital friday nite set like Udi says is off the chains unfortunately im usually in the bar already but when i catch it, ITS FAYA!!!!
hi you all,
i really do miss classic since traveling they do keep it real with the morinign show of maina kageni and mwqalimu king’angi, the problems they tackle or rather let the audiance give soulutions to with their input is what keeps people phoning in and emailing with their issues and makes other kenyans wake up int he morning and face the day with all the hardships of being a kenyan knowing that their other people who have same problems or more problems as theirs.
I really miss being in kenya
keep it up
As the name suggests, the station is quite classic and its presenters have always outsmarted other radio presenters.The presentetion of the two gentlemen (Kageni & King’ang’i) has made many listeners to be got btwn the rock and the hard surface simply cos it touches on the core issues in their lives.
Keep it up!!!
guyz there lives no station like classic 105 in kenya. actually its not classic105 but maina and mwalimu joseph king’ang’i
Classic you rock in Kenya maybe the world also