Some time ago, ruminating over myself, my life, and the wide variety of conflicting opinions held about myself and third parties, I came to the conclusion that I am actually composed of several personalities, jostling and shouting for exclusive use of the same body. Depending on which personality took office, things would hum in my immediate environment.

The recent bitch slapping enthusiastically delivered by life, triggering an audit has led me to the shocking revelation that a single personality has silently pulled  a bloodless coup and has taken firm control of the office of M, to the chagrin of the other personalities. I’ve spent the weekend listening to passionate complaints from the other personalities and it is sobering.

The coup plotter is Wall Street M. That guy is ruthless, ambitious, focused and driven. He thinks on his feet and wastes no time in taking on challenges that further ambition. He can (and does) work very hard. He actually does not sleep much and can make do with 2 hours a night. His gears are always turning.

A very useful chap, that one, and he serves me very well. I owe my current position at many levels to that chap. It cannot be understated that he has done his bit and then some for me career-wise.

The problem with him is that he has taken over operations and is on duty all the bloody time. And has been for quite a while.

And so taking advantage of my distracted situation the other personalities presented a passionate memo pleading for their colleague to be tamed.

• Shakespeare M is one of the biggest casualties. He has almost never made an appearance, as is testament to the complete lack of poetry
• Wordsmith M is another who has been bound and gagged for more than a year. These fingers have not churned out a short story in a very long time
• Orator M, he of the outrageous stories and yarns who thirsts for the company of his fellows has also been another victim
• Livingston M, the one who likes to travel and explore, and has climbed Mount Kenya bemoaned his confinement to quarters
• Freud M, who enjoys interpreting human nature, philosophy and psychology complained that the only time he was called out it was to obey instructions from Wall Street M, for his own uses.
• Casanova M, tasked with the key reasonability of furthering my plan of world domination, who can very effectively rally the forces of all the others was found tied, bound and gagged behind a sofa. From his bitter complaints it would seem he was the one taken out first.
• Multitasking M, who does outrageous things like reading 3 books at once and using two monitors simultaneously is slowly being persuaded to come out of his shell
• Bach M, who enjoys music and discovering obscure bands, groups and artists that somehow slip under the radar surfaced as well. (He recommends you get a hold of Jamelia’s album).
• Movie Buff M who relishes in all things TV. (Keenly awaiting delivery of the following: Rome, Heroes, Weeds, Grey’s Anatomy, Family Guy & Boston Legal)

Needless to say it was an eye opener. Judicious inquiries have led to the revelation that indeed, this has been the state of affairs for a while. Repeated complaints from nearest and dearest, seeing as they were fielded by Wall Street M himself, never got to see the light of day. One of my friends was actually surprised to see me on Saturday.

“Dude,” said she, eyes popping in amazement. ”Have you resigned or been fired?”

Some damage, inevitably, has been done. But still … from rock bottom the only direction is up. Wall Street M was soundly beaten by his colleagues, and horsewhipped to boot. He will not show his face after 5, 6 at the latest. This will be a change from the 12-13 hour working days

I need to mix it up! FORWARD!

In this hour of tribulations all the lads rallied together and I have spent a very interesting weekend indeed. I have discovered 3 AMAZING Italian restaurants, one that was literally right under my nose that served Black Forest with Ice Cream. (No, I won’t tell you where they are so you can start coming to clutter it, asking for Kenylon Tomato Sauce and Ugali Saucer. But if you ask me nicely …) I have watched a play and listened to 3 different bands. Real bands. I remember now why I prefer plays to movies. I have discovered that Roberta (yes, she’s back!) has some sort of reserve fuel tank that can take 1,000 bob worth of fuel before the fuel gauge gets to empty. After a long absence from the kitchen, I returned triumphantly. Stuffed chicken, my friends, stuffed chicken. Cucumber, onions, tomatoes, green peppers (who’d have thought!), potatoes. I even ate spinach (I can hear those who know me well gasp).

Of course I thought the humongous bird was an eagle after my man Mutuma smugly handed it to me. It was so good I had it for breakfast this morning. :) I have a poem in my head and two short stories that are dying to download themselves onto paper.

I also have some very lovely photos of Gigiri, Langata (huko sides of Ostrich Park), Limuru and Karen that I took this exploring weekend. Or should I say had. I somehow deleted the lot. Don’t ask. But not to worry — another weekend cometh!

I won’t say all these activities eliminate the angst, but they sure do help me remember who I am and what I am made of. Things still ABSOLUTELY suck, but at least they feel more bearable and they can be weathered. One day I can actually see myself saying this was good for me.

We’s back!

And now, back to regular programming.

Freezing their asses off at Kengele’s this past Thursday were Unyc, Milo & JM, as well as brother of Josh. And later on JadeKitten, unless Milo was lying to me. Hot damn.

Anyway, it was pretty nice and laid back, though I had to leave hurriedly to fight yet another fire, let me wind up some unfinished business, JM my guy, the only things you and your bro have in common are opposable thumbs and binocular vision. You could not look more different if you tried!

FLICK OF THE DAY

Look at these prisoners doing the Thriller! This is so cool! 

GROAN OF THE DAY

The biggest Knight of King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Q: Do you know what apathy is?

A: I don’t care

AOB

I’m going to watch Die Hard 4.0 this evening. Yes, I’ve not watched it. Shocking. At least this way there’ll be like 3 guys in the cinema who’ll shut their mouths and not provide inane commentary. If you’ll be in the neighbourhood …

AO AOB

Many thanks for all the kind messages and texts. Nyinyi ni wetu!!! Special thanks to my friends Sam and Njeri and Carole for listening to my wild ranting. You guys rock. Thanks.

Did You Know?

This day in 1945 Harry Truman inspired GW when he dropped an Atomic bomb on Hiroshima

 I Miss You – Blink 182