20

Doofus Alert

Posted August 1st, 2007 in News, Reflections by M

My thoughts on Kenyan MPs are well known. I cannot think of a single good thing about those useless doofuses. The best present that they can give Kenyans is their immediate and permanent absence.

I would very much like the gentleman who had the temerity to defend those chocolate teapots to again make an attempt to defend them. Please. Anyone?

I cannot remember the last time Kenyans as a whole have been more incensed than when parliament happily moved to yet again increase its benefits, including a 6 million or so payoff. Each.

I am still stunned. And what is all the more galling is that they cannot even show up to do the little they are paid to do. Perpetual lacks of quorum are the norm. And Francis Xavier had the audacity to complain that the Kenyan MP is overworked! Indeed. Shoveling samosas and contributing sulphurous oxides in some quarters may be considered taxing.

And yesterday the Kibaki Government again managed to slither under the extremely low bar it has set for itself.

And yesterday human rights activists protesting the Blackbeard-esque plunder of our hard earned money found themselves being treated as if they had taken the last of the biscuits from the presidential breakfast table. They were promptly and violently arrested.

I have long been a proponent of the fact that God has a VERY GOOD sense of humour. Very good indeed. And the image of extremely underpaid police officers fighting tooth and nail for the extremely overpaid good for nothing doofuses is some of his best work.

By the way, this bill did not just appear. It was introduced by one Amos Kimunya. And being a Cabinet Minister, it is not an unreasonable assumption to construe it as a Government Bill, despite the shadow boxing from other ministers.

What does that say about the Government’s attitude to its long suffering people?

 Redman – I’ll Be Dat

For some reason I’m sure Kenyan MPs relate to this song!

  • http://gishungwa.blogspot.com Gishungwa

    Its a great shame, i hope we remember this when we are voting at the end of the year.

    I wish there was a way to really punish these doofuses, whether they are re-elected or not!
  • http://mountkirima.blogspot.com Kirima

    I have learned not to expect much from this bunch. But can Kenyans be trusted to make better choices in dec? I’m not holding my breath.

    If only it were possible to start with a completely clean slate!
  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com/ Chrenyan

    Well, it’s indeed very, very annoying. One wants to throw one’s hands up in despair. These are probably campaign funds painted with the name of “retirement package”.

    It is pretty clear that money is earmarked for campaigning. Which means the constrained of pocket like myself have no chance of participating in elective office. What are they doing to our fledgling democracy

    A number of questions present themselves:

    1. If an MP is re-elected can he/she be forced to return the retirement benefits?

    Somehow — I doubt it

    2. What really can we do?

    It would be nice if we gave them a total blakcout. Don’t show up at their rallies. Turn our backs to them whenever they appear uninvited…

    3. What on earth will they think of next, these guys?

    Probably a small plane each to “assist them reach their constituents”
  • ttyffah

    I can’t seem to find a word in the English language to summarize this load of hogwash that the Kimunya led crusade want to burden us with. Hata hawana aibu… do..do…masalale.

    Sometimes I think English can be made a still richer language to describe such foolishness

    As for making martyrs out of Mwalimu Mati and co. How amnesia bites when all is nice and sundry. When the Kiraitu’s and Kivutha’s would be arrested by Moi’s guns for marching in the street, the popularity of their cause would enea kote kote…. if this government thinks it was silencing the Mwananchi’s cause… they should know it’s just been cranked up.

    And the drama the cops unleashed in Mathare and killed a two month old.. really. Water is essential for life. I don’t see anyone paying God for it. Kweli maskini hana wake… aelekee jiwe.

    Like I always say — this regime never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity
  • http://www.kenyaimagine.com donworry

    I hear all of you and I feel your anguish too. Let us remember though that we voted in the best thing since sliced bread….The unbwogables. In those heady days of ‘yote yawezekana’ we believed the politicians when they promised us a break with the past, a fresh start, an end to corruption, police brutality etc etc…Now we know.

    In December we must not return any MP who has voted for this huge packet.

    We should not return any of the sitting MPs period!
  • http://www.kenyanmusings.blogspot.com KM

    ‘sup
    I was right thurr with my popcorn. WAITING. 1.6 billion bob by year end….Yaaani…WHAT.THE.FUCK!!!!

    And yes, I would like to know if they get re-elected…will they give it the fuck back!!!! Ugh! someone should bomb Parliament out during one of those sessions vile, they are only 3 present to pass crucial bills but, anything to sate their, je ne sais quoi, greed, madness, absolute rubbish…full house representation.

    Funny, I mentioned the exact same thing about the cops…errrm, what side should they be in again?! LIKE duuuuude, you are supposed to be WITH the activists!!!!

    Shiiite, I can’t wait to catch an MP in traffic. Can you spell, #%@&##%^*&*!#&(#%#&*%#(&%&*%!!!! Yaani, this is now tomfooleries. These peeps are joking, and I want a list of all ‘ayes’!!!!

    I wish i had a dog. I’d walk it outside parliament and encourage the hound to do its business right there

    Damn!
    Now that Roberta is well and normal programming has resumed, ebu do my tag!!

    Tag? Tag? Whatever do you mean?!! :D
  • I

    Kenyans need to demand that those greedy fools justify, why they are getting paid off.. and i hope it will be so they disappear off the face of Kenya completely!!! those L-)

    That’s what’s so galling. They can’t even fekkin show up for work! All they have to do is SIT THERE and even that they are unable! What River Trolls!!!
  • http://blog.mwalimu.com/ toiyoi

    I differ:
    -none of you gentle(wo/men) commenting, if you really searched your souls and were honest, would not do exactly the same thing thing these MPs are doing.
    -Given that (from this report) that kenya’s managers are # 25 worlwide in terms of good disposable income/pay, just below the USA at #24 and beating RSA at #30, we really should increase our MPs pay so that they are also placed at #25 worldwide in terms of their pay (According to the same report, Kenya is also the 25th wealthiest nation. I am finally seeing what 6.3% growth means)

    You.Must.Be.KIDDING. I fail to see the rationale of how you arrive at that preposterous conclusion. There is a world of difference between Kenyan managers and Kenyan MPs. Kenyan managers:

    • Actually show up for work.
    • Actuallly WORK
    • Have results to show … think Mumias, Kenya Airways, Safaricom, etc
    • Can be sacked when they fail to deliver
    • Generally have IQs greater than room temperature
    • Do not make it a habit to piss on and disparage the blood, sweat and tears of their employers

    So please. I’m DYING to know what parallels can be drawn between the two!

    -I am no genius, but what is needed is (not that anyone cares, after all, this is shadow boxing):
    (a) is self guiding morality principles( which will never happen) OR
    (b)a law not changeable by MPs setting limits (BTW, even US senators always increase their perks: but probably becos they have some of (a) or they are just wiser than our MPs of “negroid desposition”, they never go overboard) OR
    (c) Create into law (who creates this law?) a tribunal that sets their worth

    -Have you considered this angle: that this is a diverson by Kimunya?( Lets, see what other sinister thing is going on?)

    OF COURSE it is a Kimunya diversion. The best place to hide a tree is in a forest. This is the biggest, most blatant bribe in Kenya’s history!
  • http://udi-m.blogspot.com udi

    toiyoi- I am going to assume you are drunk when you say we should consider increasing their pay. I never knew passing gas and laughing loudly warranted a pay raise.

  • alexcia

    The damn laws they pass (without quorum, mind you) are like paying a price increase for a downgrade

    A very apt description indeed!

    SHAME

  • http://www.fadzter.com/nucleus Fadzter

    MPs. the epitome of rot.

    Saddest thing for me is that their greed is totally unjustified.

    Paying taxes feels like flushing hard-earned money down the vortex of political sludge that is our current parliament.

    As a wise man once said, pissing away our sweat!

    Bleh!

  • http://chrenyan.wordpress.com/ Chrenyan

    I think Toiyoi has a point – our leaders are us, and we are our leaders. We get the leaders we deserve. We may, holier-than-thou, think otherwise, but precedent shows that we would do the same thing. How many of us are truly atribal? How many of us have, at some point, bribed?

    Many of the MPs’ constituents are just as tribal, just as greedy, just as selfish as the MPs, themselves. That is why we are forever changing our MPs but their behaviour doesn’t change.

    My problem is not so much the greed. My problem is that they DON’T WORK! They just don’t bloody work. At all. Its one thing to deliver and push for a raise it is another to do absolutely NOTHING and then claim a raise. What for? And what is more galling is that the money is coming from the honest sweat of hard working Kenyans who keep hearing the economy has grown but fare, milk, bread, and carrots are more expensive. It’s not an issue of greed. It is an issue of injustice

    Selfless leadership is a rare thing the world over. What keeps people in check is systems of governance; by and large the human being is not a self-regulating creature.

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  • eclipse

    We shld just raid parliament na tuwatandike viboko..thats the gift they deserve. KUBAFFS.

    Yeah Kibaki shld advise his foolish MPs and ministers!

  • http://blog.mwalimu.com/ toiyoi

    You guys missed my point:
    -No one, even the said Managers, should be paid what they are being paid in Kenya
    -it does not matter that the CEOs work hard and are smarter and hence deserve those great rates (i doubt they are better than their RSA counterparts)
    -the disparity is glaring in the sense that they are being paid huge bucks to push them to #25 best paid worldwide, while the country is #10 from the bottom worldwide.
    —60% of people live on less than $1 a day in Kenya, 0% live on less than $1/day in the USA
    —as for “working hard/smartness”, at least their counterparts in the west help create new products/technologies; the kenyan Managers simply sell these products or at most copy and paste them. I would be impressed if they(kenyan managers) managed to get these products localized to local consumption, so that their cost is in line with the $1/day kenyan consumers. That would be impressive, and i would not care then if they earned $1 billion bucks.

    -it shows the same mindset, both in the private sector and in the government

  • http://gathara.blogspot.com Patrick Gathara

    It is one thing to protest the proposed gratuity for MPs and quite another to break the law while doing it.

  • http://www.nmjoe.blogspot.com joe

    i havent been on your blog in a while since u declaired me persona non granta .however i have to say that trying to pin the pay increase on kibaki is cheap politics .kibaki hadly ever goes to parliament .you odm youthwingers should come up with better tit bits

    Still on the hallucinogens I see, my son! Please, show me how and where I declared you persona non grata. All your comments, including your insults are still up! You imagine things my son!

    Tell me how a motion moved by a Government minister is not a government sanctioned bill.

    As for ODM youthwingers … =)) I see you’ve lost none of your raw charm!

  • http://www.nmjoe.blogspot.com joe

    eeeh M …private members bill perhaps lol to be honest sometimes in order to draw out the snakes (mars group) you have to bait them . that bill was not a serious bill kenyans should stop panicking all the time . it was intended t for mars group and odm thats all .Peas za kenya ni za kenya nobody is taking your money anywhere unlike past governments

    as for my raw charm why thank you while i have been away i have been working to refine it.

    Kibaki building every sector of the kenyan economy
    Raila breathing on every microphone in kenya

  • http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com acolyte

    Seems I missed this jewel. Joe it seems has lost none of his charm! There are few jobs where people pay themselves to go to work, to have meetings, for time off and a hefty pension after only 5 years of “work.”
    Like you I am waiting for anyone to defend all these raises that MPs are getting while life remains the same or gets even worse for the man on the street.

  • dcm

    they finally did it.1.5mil severance package amounts to 333mil for the whole house.
    and the icing on the cake;shot down the economic crime bill.
    wonder what Guy fawkes would say about this!

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