During the course of a honest day’s work, I inevitably have to read several business and technical proposals, heavy with an increasingly common dialect of English called sales talk. With each 30 page proposal, I am stunned with the ability of sales people to talk at length without actually saying anything and yet sounding impressive. You will recognize sales talk the instant you see it. And in case you don’t let me try and visualize the modern salesman writing his diary.
Keen on actualizing the latest cutting edge paradigm shift, I turned off the Information Superhighway, parked and leveraged myself out of my carbon compound powered motor vehicle and onto the robust, post Y2k tarmac. My Web 2.0 centric, citizen media focused analysis of Blanco’s appeared to be accurate: from the outside the establishment had a powerful aura of customer centric, people focused service delivery, with an emphasis on its core competencies of inward and forward looking customer focus.
As a professional on the cutting edge of technology, with a focus on database driven tools and technologies, I feel myself uniquely placed, with my appreciation of modern technology to appreciate things from a database centric and system focus. From what I could see through the Windows™, the customers tables were neatly clustered, optimized for random seeks.
Rapidly responding to the looming hostile atmosphere of rain, and in a real-time, time sensitive fashion I made the business case to not be in the parking lot by the time the rain descended. In a horizontal shift of the time-space continuum, like the Oracle™ at Delphi™, I effected an entry into Blanco’s, through its Gateway™ nodding to the maitre’ d and accepting the complimentary Apple™. As I drunk in the subtle decor, ambient lighting and piped music, I said to myself a silent Yahoo!™
There she was, uniquely positioned at the corner table for maximum leverage of effect. As I visually took in her impressive metrics, I felt the throughput of my blood circulation system increase by 75.57%, with a bandwidth increment of blood flow of a comparable figure. Reacting in a pro-active fashion, I mopped the sweat from my brow and made a strategically tactical approach to her, reducing my exposed attack surface to a minimum by approaching at an angle.
She rose to greet me, and my lips touched hers in seamless, cross platform interoperability. Immediately during the interface, the bandwidth of my blood system had a gross, pre-tax increment of 124.45%, stabilizing at well over double its previous throughput. Finally, as we disengaged, I surreptitiously took the opportunity to evaluate her form, drinking in her agile, thin client architecture.
I decided to maximize my return on investment by beginning collaborative, one on one dialog with her, with a view to extracting her user requirements and creating a solid, sustainable business case for our involvement. My aim was to paint a rich tapestry of the mutually symbiotic relationship that could ensue from our collaboration. I left her in no doubt that on her part, I was sold. Her interface was pleasing to the eye, her underlying architecture looked agile yet robust. Her vocal outputs were of high quality and fidelity. Her bottom line, needless to say, was superb.
PIC OF THE DAY
Nuff Sed (Sorry Roberta, you’re a non starter!)
Seal - Kiss From A Rose
