It is said that the first step is denial. Well, I am pleased to report that I am no longer in denial.
This country, ladies and gentlemen, is for all intents and purposes a banana republic, only without the bananas.
Reading from light to left:
- An indecisive president rejoicing at the miles of fencing he has at State House at his disposal to sit on.
- An ineffective Prime Minister, allegedly charged with coordination of Government Ministry. Judging from the Babel from the said ministries, we are pleasantly surprised he can coordinate trouser and coat
- A government spokesman whose own mother is unlikely to take seriously, let alone 29,998,000 Kenyans
- A cabinet which judging from the intelligence demonstrated by their banter and pronouncements, are unlikely to have the capacity to tie their shoes before descending on their Morning Cerelac
- An Attorney General who fondly believes he is perpetually auditioning for a Colgate advertisement
- An anti-corruption commission that zealously goes after chicken thieves and pickpockets
- A trigger happy police force that lurches from crisis to crisis
- A civil service run by tottering old men that refuse to give way that continues to amaze with its ineffectiveness
- A juvenile parliament, complete with soiled diapers that is more interested in grandstanding than legislating.
- A self deluded judiciary that fondly believes it is effectively discharging its mandate
- An ever naive public that refuses to see that it is viewed as nothing more than a source of funds, votes and foot-soldiers.
- A now defunct electoral commission unable to accurately count a single coin toss. It takes some effort and quite the imbecility to announce with a straight face a candidate had 40,000 votes in a constituency that has 30,000 people, let alone voters.
Most people in positions of governance give impressions of an urgent need of a swift kick in the seat of the trousers.
The nail in the coffin was this public announcement laying blame for corruption at the foot of couples working in Government offices.
Digest that for a minute. The Government position is that people who answered in the affirmative to the question “Wilt thou?” are the source of stolen public money.
After laughing myself to tears, I deployed my crack investigation team, whose findings stunned even me.
Pictured below is the Government Of Kenya Policy Maker & Decision Making Device
This device, acquired in 2002 has been behind all Government decisions and policies to date.
To many of us who have long been of the opinion that some of the decisions taken by the Government cannot possibly have come from a Homo Sapiens with opposable thumbs and binocular vision, much makes sense.
Going back to the couples, I have in my possession I card from Reverend Moon that I feel the authorities should investigate further