A family friend is getting married this Friday. As they make the final preparations I fondly remember being in that position a week before our big day juggling logistics, family, ulcers, priests, venues and suits.

I cannot tell a lie … there were times the AG’s chambers seemed appealing. And as D-Day drew closer even that seemed too much of a hassle and the local Chief’s mabati hut looked appealing. But soldier on we did.

I especially commend my wonderful better half because in addition to the wedding hassles, she had to deal with me, who is largely handicapped by being me.

When it comes to weddings, the human male is terribly handicapped by being a human male. Being a human male makes it difficult to contribute constructively to many aspects of the wedding.

Sample this tidbit shortly after the master plan for world domination had been tabled and approved by the coalition partner

Missus: Sweetie, what should our colour scheme be?
Mister: Err … colour scheme? (Racking brain for what a colour scheme is, then giving up) Black?

Or this exchange in a wedding gown shop festooned with tresses and trails

Missus: Sweetie, what do you think of this wedding gown?
Mister: (Trying and failing to come up with criteria for a nice gown other than tightness around certain bits) Er … hmm. Good question. Good question. It’s er … is OK.

Or this one in the suit shop as the groom was reacquainted with a coat, the last one he wore boasting  a school crest on the front pocket

Missus: Sweetie, which shade do you prefer? Azure or Aquamarie? ^* Actual colours stated may have been different
Mister: (Knowing neither colour, desperately pointing at the nearest one) This one. Yes, definitely this one.

Good times, good times.

At the end of it all it worked out perfectly. The bride showed up at the church. The groom showed up at the correct church. No one rose when the priest asked if there was anyone with objections. The rings had not been forgotten in a pocket of a suit that had been taken to the laundry.

Execution was flawless, despite my main contribution being approving the menu and denting my boss’ car. She did the rest. You, my dear, are amazing.

And every morning since when I wake up and look at wife and home, ever so slightly a different aspect of just how fortunate I am occurs to me.

And I say to myself yessir, you’s a lucky fellow.

Love, M

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