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Strategy For Dummies

Suppose I was advising Raila Odinga, only without the ego and hat.

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Image from DevelopKenya.com

The following statements would issue from my office in reaction to events

March 1, 2012

I wish to congratulate the PNU Alliance in selecting Gideon Mbuvi as their presidential candidate after democratic competition.

I salute PNU and its affiliates for sticking together and respecting the will of its members.

In the spirit of competition I would like to assure them of a strong campaign from my party as we try to spark a bright future for this nation.

Congratulations and may the best man win.

March 8, 2012

Dear Kenyans,

After consultations with my dear wife Ida and my sons, daughter and immediate family, I wish to regretfully withdraw myself for competition in the Presidential Elections.

I have served this country tirelessly for more than 30 years and my family and I feel it is time to retire to quiet introspection and charity work.

I wish all the candidates vying for the presidential ticket in ODM the best success.

March 9, 2012

I note with concern the collapse of the PNU alliance, and more so the updating of the ECK register to indicate all the PNU leading lights have decided to run for presidency themselves.

I urge them to respect their party structures and gentleman agreements for the good of their parties and democracies as a whole

April 2, 2012

Fellow Kenyans,

My announcement to withdraw from the presidential race has caused concern in not only my extended family, but my constituency, my county and the country as a whole.

I have been receiving delegations all month urging me to reconsider my position.

After consulting with my wife Ida, my immediate family and my spiritual advisor, I have decided to heed the will of the people and offer myself as a presidential candidate on the ODM ticket.

I wish messers Ruto, Saitoti, Kenyatta, Kalonzo all the success in their individual presidential campaigns and congratulate them in their bravery in striking out on their own.

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1 Response

  1. *Grins* This is delicious tongue-in-cheek dessert…may I please have second helpings?

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