UPDATE: 11:00 PM

Rumours going round are to the effect that Raila Odinga and William Ruto have been arrested, and William Ruto has been shot. Reportedly this is after ODM announced their intentions to name a parallel government, a move, I must confess, is not entirely wise given the current situation.

More as I get it.

I have just been watching President Kibaki been sworn in, amid applause from his cabal of powerful friends and cronies. As far as I can tell it seems to have been a private ceremony for himself and his friends.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the fact that Kibaki’s friends and minions were already gathered and ready for swearing in minutes after the announcement was made.

People awaiting news

I refuse to call him and his ilk honourable. They are no such thing.

While he and his friends are sipping tea and eating crumpets in statehouse I find myself at crossroads.

I question the very beliefs I once held true — that democracy at the end of the day triumphs.

I feel outraged that Mwai Kibaki can with a straight face tell me how he feels “humbled that the people have elected him” and how he urges his opponents to “respect the electoral process”.

People reacting to the news

I feel mad that Samuel Kivuitu is cracking jokes at State House while my country falls apart because of him and his puppeteers.

I feel that the people of Kenya have been completely robbed of everything they have gained over the last 40 years. We lacked few things but at least we were generally a fair people.

I feel that the change we thought we had in 2005 was just an illusion.

I feel that all the time (3+ years), love, devotion and attention I dedicated on Mzalendo.com, sleepless nights sacrificed, hours of my time and resources have been pissed away in just a few days.

I feel that Kenyans have been robbed of something that can never be valued — their electoral process.

I feel challenged even now to respond to the question I had been asked earlier in the day — “Is there any point voting?”

Fracas begins to develop in my backyard

I feel cheated because the same cabal that has been in power since independence is still in power.

I feel cheated that an administration rejected by the ballot can somehow find itself into the presidency.

I feel sad that Kenyans optimistically queued on the 27th thinking they could control their destiny and the very people they entrusted spat on their good faith and goodwill.

I feel angry that my house has just been stoned.

I feel angry that my friends’ shops have been looted and burnt.

Shops Looted and burnt. FYI the burning kiosk is the left most blue one in the first photo

I feel shocked that on comparing Kibaki to Moi, Moi comes out on top because he actually walked away when he lost.

I feel amazed that the ruling party in no way shape or form is representative of the country.

I feel insulted that people can rig the elections and believe that we are dumb enough not to see through it.

I cry (literally) at realizing that we have been robbed of our peaceful, friendly homeland, where our camaraderie made us famous worldwide by power hungry power barons.

As I sit here in my room sick to my stomach and hear the breaking glass outside my house and see my friends watch helplessly as their shops are looted and burnt I again ask myself …

What have they done?

UPDATE

The Government has just issued a directive via the Ministry of Information & Communication banning all live broadcasts, or broadcasts of anything “inciting”, presumably the reaction to the ECK announcement.

Try harder. You can’t silence the truth.

The much awaited announcement from ECK chairman Samuel Kivuitu never was. He had began by reading results by Molo when the ODM loudly challenged the results.

Things speedily ground to a halt.

Shortly after aspirant Raila Odinga held a press conference where he bemoaned the doctoring of the results, which was confirmed by William Ruto who tabled a copy of the Form 16A where the total votes for Kibaki were at odds with those that were announced.

Then came the shocker.

An ECK commissioner stepped up and confessed that there had been doctoring of results at the ECK, specifically during the generation of the sheets that were used to read the results. According to him numbers favouring Kibaki were inflated in his favour. He said he was in Team 2 in charge of Coast and Upper Eastern and he confessed after doctoring 3 constituencies he could no longer stomach what was being done.

We’re not done.

Juja aspirant William Kabogo also appeared on TV and complained about the rigging of the Juja vote in favour of the PNU candidate, George Thuo. He claims there is significant deviation between the parliamentary votes and presidential votes.

What. The. Fuzz?

If this is a fact, then to tell the truth I am stunned. I cannot believe that people are naive enough to think that Kenyans are foolish enough to buy this sort of thing. This is 2007 for God’s sake! Do people still think that this sort of thing works?

I am very angry that a mockery has been made of Kenyans and the electoral process. Kenyans sacrificed on the 27th to vote and now some bigwigs are conspiring to silence the voice of the people. I am very bitter and very angry that the electoral process seems to have been stolen from Kenyans.

I remember laughing when watching Mwai Kibaki attending that KANU National Delegates conference and finger in the air singing “KANU yajenga nchi“.

I’m not laughing so hard now. Does anyone recall the last paragraphs of Animal Farm?

We can forgive buffoonery, ineptitude and passivity. We will not forgive our voices being silenced. Will post when I learn anything new

WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE?

Pray for this country. I’m getting the sinking feeling in my stomach that some greedy people are on the verge of irreversibly ruining this country

Right, today has been an especially tense day. Very very tense.

There has been pockets of unrest all around the county, especially in Kisumu, Kericho, Mombasa and parts of Nairobi.

The media is reporting the unrest is due to the delay in the results.

They are half right.

Here’s the problem.

For some reason, some constituencies have only had their parliamentary results released, and mysteriously not the presidential results. By accident or design, most of these seem to fall in the strongholds of the PNU, Central and Eastern provinces.

A good number are DEEPLY suspicious that the reason of the delay is for the numbers to be adjusted in favour of the incumbent, who has within 24 hours managed to close a gap of 900,000 to about 40,000. Opinion is that the government is bent on rigging the elections.

The Electoral Commission is making claims to the effect that they are unable to reach some of their returning officers.

Personally I too am very skeptical of the developments

• What good reason can there be for parliamentary results to be released without presidential
• How is it that results from far removed constituencies in Rift Valley, Nyanza and Coast have arrived and yet neighboring constituency results are not?
• How can the 45 odd seats gathered so far by the PNU and its affiliates translate into a presidential victory
• Some of the turnouts in some constituencies that are PNU strongholds are suspiciously high. 90%+ turnouts are hard enough to swallow but situations where the votes cast are greater than the number of registered voters? Hmm
• There was footage on KTN earlier in the day of very suspicious activities that seemed to benefit the candidate of particular party in Kamukunji
• I just don’t buy absurdities that the ECK cannot reach 51 agents because their phones were off / it was raining

The feeling is that the elections are being stolen from under our very noses.

I for one am waiting keenly to get hold of the complete statistics so I can work out for myself some of those numbers. I am in possession of voter numbers per constituency and I will be very keen indeed to see if they tally with what will be announced.

The contrast between today and the 27th cannot possibly be greater.

More as it develops.

AOB

What is the sense on grown folks reading elections results to us like children? Why can;t the ECK have some sort of projector and screen and use those to display results? The current way wastes EVERYBODY’s time, including the ECK’s

Finally we are at that time where every 5 years we brave hot sun, wet rain and long queues to voice our desires with regards to precisely who we want to lead us.

Yes sir, elections 2007 are with us.

I’ve been driving around Nairobi this afternoon to get a feel of what’s on the ground. I’ve also discovered that while I have no trouble watching 4 TV channels at the same time while listening to 3 other radio channels, most people find this acutely irritating.

Sorry.

I may have forgotten to carry my camera to capture the scenes, but there’s nothing wrong with my eyes and ears. Here is some of the interesting things I came across

• Some people woke up between 3 and 4 and were at the polling stations from 4 AM in the morning to vote
• If you’re thinking of heading to the ECK command center and waiting sweatily at ECK Chairman Kivuitu’s elbow for the results to be announced think again my child. No doubt remembering the events of 2002 the ECK has made sure that idlers and riffraff do not coalesce their shouting selves around the officials. Most roads leading to the KICC have been cordoned off and some very grim faced security personnel that appear to be either Administration police or General Service Unit. I found myself apologizing from a sharp look from one of those gentlemen.
• Some bars refused to serve customers who do not have the magical inked finger to indicate voting
• Some matatus refused to carry people that did not have the magical inked finger
• In Kibera things almost became sticky when it was discovered that Raila Odinga was not on the voter’s roll. Neither were people whose names started with O and A. Naturally this caused some acute consternation. The ECK explained that the lists had been split along alphabetic lines to reduce the numbers on the lines, and some lists were not delivered in time.  Mercifully updated lists were updated and voting took place. I for one am very grateful that people kept their cool. Considering that in some communities names beginning with A and O are fairly thick on the ground, it could have been interpreted quite differently with very nasty results.
• Lines in Kibera were up to 2Km long. Yes, that’s kilometers.
• Nairobi polling stations are heavily populated by party agents that are reducing the speed of counting the ballots to a crawl
• Anticipating long nights, some ECK officials are making use of lulls in the voting to catch 40 winks on benches and on the grass.
• It was refreshing to see young aspiring leaders like Jonathan Mueke and John Kiarie showing up to vote. John Kiarie actually came with his wife and baby
• The Uchumi in South B was closed. (4 litres of soda don’t last as long as you’d think!)
• The voting queue at the Catholic Parochial polling station had to be seen to believed. It was even longer than the Kibera ones! Looping and winding on itself like that annoying snake game on Nokia phones
• There is talk that turnout could top 80% this election, which is a big increase from the last election where it was about 55%
• Preliminary coverage is inconsistent across stations. KTN is showing Odinga is ahead and Citizen and Nation are showing Kibaki is ahead (as of 11 PM)
• Some of the preliminary results are verging on the absurd. 99% for a candidate?

More as it develops

Any attempt to analyze politics in Kenya (including this one) are doomed from the get go. This is largely because POLIITCS IN KENYA DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. Time and time again I have been asked why I no longer satirize politics and politicians. True, my attentions have been diverted elsewhere, but another factor is that politics in Kenya is hilarious as it is without anything being done. Just reading the headlines is enough to break you down with tears of laughter. I mean, where else can you have the President attending the National Delegates Conference of the Official Opposition, sing their anthems and flash their salute?

Priceless.

Government & Parliament

Under normal circumstances, parliament is constituted as follows:

In Kenya however, it is more like this:

In most countries, nominations and elections are like this:

In Kenya, however, they are like this

It get even more interesting. During elections the incumbent expects to be challenged by the leader of the Official Opposition and h(is/er)Government In Waiting like so:

But in Kenya we have a situation where the official opposition will support the incumbent in the next elections

The mind boggles

Political Parties

Political Parties in Kenya are largely meaningless entities. Very few political parties if any actually have a coherent vision and manifesto. Only a handful can actually describe what they are all about. At last count there are 144 currently registered political parties. 144. A good chunk of these are briefcase parties, hoping to cash in at some point in time when the correct political wind blows. Let us take a closer look at these, shall we?

Four Horses

The four horses are the political parties that dominate the political landscape, by virtue of having relatively country wide support. These include

• Mwai Kibaki’s PNU et al
• Raila Odinga’s ODM
• Uhuru Kenyatta’s KANU
• Kalonzo Musyoka’s ODM – K

These are characterized by formidable machinery, grassroots support in most provinces and relatively organized leadership. Many of us have heard of the KANU Manifesto, though I personally have yet to see it. Has it been updated? I have personally never heard any of these other parties share with the electorate their manifesto. And no, promises thundered over microphones do not a manifesto make!

Barnyard Fowl

Barnyard Fowl are political parties which, like some people, have an exaggerated (and misguided) belief that their very names (and themselves) should inspire awe and admiration from the public at large, blissfully unaware that not only does the public not give a flying rat’s ass, they do not really affect the price of tomatoes.

These are the political parties with exaggerated opinions of their popularity, blissfully aware that their sole uniting purpose is tribe. These include outfits like

• Musikari Kombo’s Ford Kenya
• Simeon Nyachae’s Ford People
• Chirau Mwakwere’s Shirikisho
• Joseph Munyao’s DP

These parties are generally of nuisance value characterized by having impressive numbers of their members and officials either hailing from the same area or speaking a similar language. Take for example Ford Kenya. Hitherto one of the most popular parties in the country it is now a pale shadow of its former self. Those brave enough to attempt to listen to Musikari Kombo’s monotonous monotone (at least until he puts them to sleep) will doubtlessly have heard him try and explain the disturbingly large number of officials and MPs from Western Kenya, taking pains to illustrate that the Party Secretary General, John Munyes is not from Western. Well, John Munyes has parallels with Token Black in Southpark.

The other parties are no better. Ford People’s MPs are almost entirely from the Kisii Community. Are are almost all Shirikisho MPs from Coast Province. The same with DP and its affinity for members from the Central Province and its environs.

These so called leaders are the ones generally frothing at the mouth on TV at pains to elaborate on “consolidating the xxx vote”, where xxx is their tribe of choice.

Duck Billed Platypae

These, like their namesakes are the oddities of the political landscape. These include parties like

• Raphael Tuju’s NARC Kenya

They are characterized by the following

• Babel like confusion about themselves, their identity, their goals, their activities
• Extremely top heavy leadership, where almost every other member is  vice chairman
• Impressive lack of shame. Only the very brave will stand behind a statement like “Our support for Mwai Kibaki is unconditional. Even if he runs on an ODM ticket”. This essentially means they know where their bread is buttered, and little things like ideals mean little. Parallels can be drawn between the morality of such an attitude and alley cats.

Class Insecta / Filler

These are political parties whose chief function is to serve as filler for TV news and newspaper, to cover that white spot in column 4 page 27 or to make the 14 minute political news 15 minutes. Their contribution to anything is negligible at best.

DISCLAIMER

Which political party do you support? That’s the greatest party EVER!!!

PIC OF THE DAY

There’s advertising and then there’s advertising

Just when you think that you cannot set the bar lower on Mwai Kibaki and the constellation of black holes that oscillate around him, they never fail to disappoint — they find a way to slither under. I’m beginning to wonder if they are gaffes or premeditated actions.

His cabinet ministers are on record having defended the Armenian brothers at the hub of this controversy. Defended them. In parliament. Internal Security Minister John Michuki and Immigration Minister Gideon Konchellah actually defended these gentleman in parliament and in the media.

This past weekend a series of events took place that left Kenyans collectively dumbfounded.

• These two gentlemen appeared at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, and they had passes granting them access to all areas of the airport, a privilege very few indeed enjoy
• When challenged to open the bags one of their associates had flown in guns were drawn at hapless customs officials. GUNS WERE DRAWN! In our airport, ostensibly one of the best guarded facilities in the country.
• These individuals managed to somehow get out of the airport and drive to their safety
• Communication flew thick and fast between the police and ranking personalities in the government. To the amazement of Kenyans one faction wanted to raid and arrest these individuals and the other one was protecting them

In the end sanity prevailed and the house was raided. Among the contents of the raided house were:

1. Armaments supposedly traceable to the Presidential Security Brigade
2. Cars with foreign licence plates
3. Cars with Government licence plates
4. Jackets emblazoned with QRU, the kind that Kenyans will remember was worn by Government agents beating their own people on National Television
5. Letters of Appointment giving them the ranks of Deputy Police Commissioners
6. Kenyan Passports in their names

This whole fiasco beggars a number of immediate questions:

1. Who on earth are these men?
2. Why have they been defended by Cabinet Ministers on numerous occasions?
3. Exactly how is it that these men are Deputy Police Commissioners after barely 4 months in the country?
4. Who gave them carte Blanche access to our airports?
5. What are they doing with government equipment like arms?
6. Why has the Government time and time again failed to question them and their activities?
7. Who are these “big fish” that keep hindering the police from carrying out their duties in questioning these men?
8. These men are Armenian but they were deported to Dubai. Huh?

It also raises a number of not so obvious issues:

We have been trying for years to convince the USA and the European Union that our country is safe from threats of terrorism. And now in one fell swoop we are precisely back where we started, if not worse. If two yahoos can carry guns into our airports, get access to the entire airport, draw their weapons, threaten people and get away, I shudder to think what a determined group of terrorists could do.

In one fell swoop our tourism industry will yet again be struggling, we are the laughing stock of the International Community and if strange foreigners can be given powers over us mere citizens, just how is it we are a sovereign nation?

I for one find it ludicrous and yet frightening that the Government can grant total strangers powers above the law over me, a citizen. That the Government can allow total strangers to operate above the law. My Government has given strangers rights and privileges that I, a citizen, do not enjoy. This is insane.

Were the Madaraka Day celebrations a farce?

These men were whisked out of the country without being charged in court. After drawing a weapon in a sensitive area. After threatening custom officials with said weapon. After being found with arms and Government vehicles. Makes one wonder why other foreigners who break the law are charged and jailed.

Just last week a Somali warlord was unceremoniously bundled out of the country. Compare and contrast, if you will, how that operation compared with this one. Our mercenary friends were escorted to the airport like V.I.P.s. The Nation that night were following up a story that the me were not actually deported but were bought two business class RETURN tickets!

So naturally Kenyans are stunned and confused at these developments, and it is with a sigh of relief that our commander in chief appears on television. One would assume that he is going to take charge and reassure Kenyans that all is well and action is being taken to safeguard our sovereignty and security.

One would be wrong.

I am still stunned that while he had the nation’s ear, at prime time, the man had the gall to start clarifying that

The first family is composed of the following: First Lady Lucy, sons Jimmy, David …

After the nation has suffered a collective blow to its perceptions of security and sovereignty, the man we elected to look after these very things is wasting valuable prime time to “clarify” the constituency of his family.

Well!!

After an event that has had, is having, and will continue to have ramifications within and without the border, all of them bad, our Commander In Chief and President is “clarifying” who belongs to his family!

Well, allow me to respond, President Kibaki. Take down the following list:

• Hoot
• Two Hoots
• Damn
• Tuppence
• Crap
• Monkey’s Crap
• Rat’s Ass
• Flying Ass
• Flying Rat’s Ass

Got them? I hope so. Because these are all the things Kenyans DON’T GIVE about who constitutes your family. Just to be clear, let me try and drive the point home

• We don’t care if your first family is composed of Lucy, Jimmy, David and Judy.
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Mary Wambui and Winnie Mwai
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Huey, Louie and Dewey
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky and Henny Penny
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Bilbo, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Thorin Oakenshield.
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozi Bear and Gonzo
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Goldilocks And The Three bears
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Robin Hood and the Big Bad Wolf
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Megatron, Laser Beak, Starscream and Sound Wave
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Grandmaster Flash and the Famous Five
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Cafu, Roberto Carlos, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Adriano
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Swee’pea, Olive Oyl and Wimpy
• We don’t care if your family is composed of Frank, Joe, Fenton and Laura Hardy
• We don’t care if the story of you and your daughters is called “Just The Three Of Us” or “The Wealth Of Nations”
• We don’t care if your college mates called you Casanova or CasaNever
• We don’t care whether you have enough children to get your own telephone exchange or not
• We don’t care if your family meetings are held in a living room or in a stadium
• We don’t care whether the Registrar of Marriages greets you with “You again?”

I hope you get the drift. Kenyans elected you to take charge of their security, their economy, their health, their jobs and that sort of thing. Those are the issues they want to hear you articulate. Anything else is a waste of their time, and yours.

We are beginning to tire of the fact that the only times you speak out it is invariably about Mary Wambui and her immediate offspring.

We don’t care. Trust me.

I think a change to your schedule would do you a power of good. You can delegate your duties but I’m afraid you CANNOT delegate your responsibiity.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Well! Peter Crouch’s bicycle kick looks more like a Penny Farthing!”

“Oh! Dwight Yorke looks quite in pain — looks like he took all of Gerrard’s weight in his Michael Ballacks!”

AOB

Bankelele does an excellent summary of Finance Minister Amos Kimunya’s maiden budget yesterday

Sah’Lomon – Kumba

The First of June was Madaraka day. It was a day to celebrate Kenya and being Kenyan. It was a time for us to revel in our Kenyanhood and Kenyanness.

And just like everyone else I was then, and I still am now proud to call Kenya Home and Motherland. Many of my friends question this, what with my stinging critique and wholesome derision of the Government. What I tell them is my love for my country has nothing to do with Government.

And just like everyone else I sat down and watched the first few minutes of the festivities. However this was where we parted ways with everyone else. Most people watched with pride as teachers, soldiers, firemen, policemen and even girl guides and boy scouts marched past the presidential dias. Me? I viewed it with acute resentment.

And at a given signal, each and everyone of the marchers would look to the right and salute the dias.

The straw that broke the camel’s back. I viewed this as a slap in the face — a mockery of the hard working people that ARE Kenya.

All of us have at one time or another have participated in a parade. It may have been at those ubiquitous national day celebrations or it may have been at school. Remember if you will standing under that hot sun, in the sweltering heat, waiting as endless speeches were read. Allow me to draw your attention to one fact — that there are a group of people WATCHING the parade, nestled comfortably under tents with cold drinks in hand.

This invariably was the school administration. At the very front were the headmaster and his deputies. Behind them were the other teachers. Behind those were the support staff. And finally the lucky parents who could fit in the tents. The other parents would sit on benches usually occupied by riotously shouting boys singing unbelievably dirty rugby cheering songs, or on seats brought from the classroom.

Similar parallels can be observed in history. Look at the conquering Romans under the leadership of men like Hadrian, Augustus, Trajan and Domitian. Over aggressive expansion programs, or while securing their borders, they build stadiums, collosseums and ampitheates. OUTSIDE their garissons — for the locals.

These stadiums were designed along George Bush -esque lines — to shock and awe the dominion. Of grand construction. Villagers and soldiers would parade and march before interesting activities like gladiators fighting to the death. The subdued would watch all this opulence and strength and discipline and the urge to resist would be silenced. They would hear from the lips of the Romans just how much better life was under them.

And then there would be the fights to the death of the gladiators, and for innovative emperors like Domitian, conquests between women and dwarfs.

And all the while the emperors and centurions and other officials would sit on an elevated, shady pavilion, safely out of the reach of those pesky villagers and mere soldiers. These pesky elements would then provide the entertainment, be it song and dance or butchering each other while blindfolded and tied together.

And some 2000 years later here I am watching the exact same thing, identical to a T.

Continue Reading »

When I look at the Kenyan MP it is generally with a powerful urge to smack said MP’s fat head. These people are just schmucks. Really. And that’s not just passion talking. How can a 220 member parliament perpetually have a quorum problem? And on the one day they (mostly) attend, budget day, most can be spotted rattling the rafters with their snoring and dribbling drool throughout the speech, only to be seen later at the garden party aggressively chasing free biscuits and then waxing lyrical from the same canned speech:

“Uh, it was a fairly good speech {munch munch}. The minister touched on most of the core issues affecting the common {munch} man”

The fact that I am working my ass off so that i can have a third of my wages neatly siphoned off to pay these trolls does little to endear them to me, or their offspring for that matter. I recall a time I had the misfortune of meeting the fruit of Ali Mwakwere’s loins, who seemed amazed that I did not know who his father was. I helpfully suggested that the only person who could conclusively answer that question was his mother, but that passed him completely by.

But I digress.

This past Saturday a school group collection bench waste of MPs gathered together to launch yet another new party. It is my opinion that this country has more parties than 31st December, but here again another one is shoved down our throats.

With ill fitting hats crammed onto fat heads, the 50 or so odd MPs stood before a crowd, waving foolishly, dancing ungracefully and blowing more hot air than a sperm whale that has just consumed an hot air balloon. Let us overlook the fact that the section of the crowd that was not paid to attend was there for the free refreshments.

One of the most irritating truths is that Kenyan politicians have taken the term multi-party democracy at face value and are of the opinion that the more political parties there are the more multi-party the country is! Which should not really be a surprise from people who think the Internet is a revolutionary fishing device.

They change parties like soiled underwear. Name one politician who can quote a paragraph of his party’s manifesto (if he knows what it is) and I will eat my hat. They have no beliefs or ideologies or visions, besides the immediate ones of getting power and maintaining it.

Lose party elections? Defect. Wife deliver a boy instead of a girl? Defect. Uchumi collapses like a house of cards? Defect. Suddenly discover that your stomach obscures your view of your toes? Defect.

Let’s look at the rationale of the latest round of defections to the new party.

According the those behind the new party are several BAs, BScs, MScs, MDs, Doctors and Professors. There are also the usual SMS, LOL, ETC, WTF, H₂O who are indeed the bulk of the August(September and October) houses.

These denizens of intelligentsia are telling us that “NARC is a tribal outfit so there is a need to form a new party that is not driven by tribalism”.

Well, I have news for you nitwits!

It is not the party that is tribal.
It is the people within it!

The course of action when beholding soiled underwear is precisely the same as that for a tribal party — look for the ass!

These yahoos would have us believe that they will stop being the same tribal cabals. That they will suddenly become nationalists. That they now will be smart enough to hit the water if they fell out of a boat.

Well, I don’t buy it from one bit. People don’t change because their house has been painted a different colour. A rose by any other name is just a sweet. A politician by any other party is just as stinky.

And if you are a new member of this new party raise your right hand and smack your fat head.

AOB

You really have to read Kate Wolf’s fascinating blog on life in the DRC. Did you know that DRC is the biggest city NOT to have a movie theater? Or that their banks don’ give loans — you buy a Merc you have to do it with cash money? Read all about it. And whoever said different strokes for different folks must have read #1. And my absolute favourite — the DRC has 33 presidential candidates and 5,000 parliamentary candidates, vying for 500 seats!

LINK OF THE DAY
Are you a liar? Are you having a bit of nookie on the side unknown to your significant other? Think no one knows those dirty shenanigans you’re up to with Mama Njoki / Secretary / hotcat999@yahoo.com? Think again! You could be on Off2Hunt: Exposing married liars and cheats

PIC OF THE DAY

Nature meets technology

Daudi Kabaka – Musa