Subscribe with Bloglines

Archived Posts from “Uncategorized”

Folks Gone Crazy

17

January

Folks Gone Crazy

Much has been said about the pair who where happily married and further down the road discovered that not only were they related, they were actually twins. Personally I am inclined to believe one of the following

  1. The are two of the dumbest human beings to walk this planet
  2. The whole thing is one of the stories like bigfoot

I mean come on. Are you trying to tell me that the two never had a conversation like this?

(Let’s call then Emilio and Lucy)

Emilio: Balm of my soul, I seem to have come into posession of a position of considerable authority and I would like to treat you to a gift. When, o when did your pater and your mater say in unison “unto us a child is born?”

Lucy: O wind beneath my wings, how kind of you! I was born on the date of 15 October 1900

Emilio: Hear my heart leap like a caged beast! So was I! 15th of October 1900!

Lucy: Clearly we are as destined to be together as guano and sailor’s hats! Where exactly were you born?

Emilio: St Mary Of Nazareth Church, in Othaya

Lucy: The pot in my potato! Me too! And what time?

Emilio: 11:34 exactly

Lucy: Ha-kakaka! My popeye! So was I! Do you still have any doubts that we are meant to be?

Emilio: The doubt in my soul lasted shorter than Brazilians in British tube stations! What is your father’s name?

Lucy: Fidelis.

Emilio: What an extraordinary string of coincidences! So is mine! My mother is called Redem…

Lucy: Redemptor

Emilio: My most desperate of all housewives! Exactly!

Lucy: A love like ours is as rare to find as Form 16A

Together: What a coincidence!


What Really Happened, Part I: Genesis

01

January

News On The Ground

  • A church with 200 sheltering people in Eldoret torched with the people still in it. Not many were able to flee
  • The monument Nicholas Biwott built for his mother has been torched. So has his mother’s house
  • The Central Business district apparently is a no go zone
  • Government Spokesman and Information Permanent Secretary falling over themselves to describe precisely what a ban of live transmissions means.
  • A armed mob of thousands was marching towards Burnt Forest a few hours ago
  • It is impossible to find Safaricom airtime.

Commentary

I have received hundreds of text messages, emails and comments, and have participated in several conversations about these elections. A good chunk of them are extremely bitter about the events of the past 48 hours. There are a few that are pleased with the results.

I would just like to make one thing very clear. If you are happy purely because Kibaki won, or your are angry purely because Raila lost, my friends your myopia will cost you a lot more than you think.

Why? This is going to be a long and controversial post so grab some coffee and settle down. I’ve posted some more pictures that I took yesterday of the aftermath of the unrest in my hood.

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts, and not to be taken as gospel truth

Genesis Of A Problem

The problem (the nature of which I will get to last) began almost 5 years ago, in the hastily cobbled together amalgamation of political parties of NAK and LDP that was called the National Rainbow coalition. Analysis of the voting patterns showed a country that was solidly united behind what they believed to be the path to a change of destiny. Raila Odinga went to Central Kenya and was wildly cheered, more than most of the Central Province leaders. Kibaki went to Nyanza and was wildly cheered. People by and large ignored tribe and voted for change.

 After23 
Estate gate broken by the mob

Cracks immerged shortly after the new cabinet was named. The LDP felt that they had been shortchanged, in contravention of a pre-election memorandum of understanding, the infamous MOU.

Now much hubbub was made over  the MOU. People loudly wondered what the contents were. People contended that such documents made behind closed doors and out of the public eye were not binding. Such sentiments, in my opinion, are the height of naiveté. The fact of the matter is that in politics lobbying and dealing are a part of the game. These things are done well in advance in privacy away from you and me. They are done EVERYWHERE and not just Kenya. It is naive to presume that you have a say in the distribution of cabinet positions. You have none. Get used to it.

But I digress.

After24 
Security tried to lock the gate but it was just broken

The LDP felt strongly that it had been shortchanged on two fronts: consultation in the naming of the cabinet and in the number of seats allocated to them. They actually held a press conference to protest the developments. The public was largely hostile to these attempts to besmirch their rosy eyed view of Canaan.

The LDP may have kept quiet subsequently but they did not forget what they perceived to be a betrayal.

The second problem was entirely of the incoming President’s making. Upon being sworn in he sacked large numbers of civil servants who happened to be principally from the Rift Valley. Many were dispossessed of benefits like cheap housing. Many were threatened with court, and a good number were charged in court. Ministers like Kiraitu Murungi very arrogantly demanded the President Moi go to herd goats and watch how government was run.

This very fact I believe is what cost Kibaki support in the Rift Valley. The people were not about to forget what they felt were injustices done to their sons and daughters. Things were not helped by the last minute marriage of convenience between Moi and Kibaki. The people of the Rift were even more resentful of what they perceived to be a turncoat. People vividly recall the indignities Moi was subjected to on his exit, and the only way that he and Kibaki could be reading from the same script was if Moi had been promised something that he was not about to share with them.

After25

The third problem begins with the fact that it was perceived that a disproportionate percentage of the Cabinet was from Central and Eastern Kenya, principally the Kikuyu and the Meru. A similar situation seemed to present itself in senior civil servant positions, where it was felt a disproportionately large number of the numbers were from a single region. If you recall there were email forwards enumerating senior positions staffed by members from a single part of Kenya. The Government hastily prepared another one listing positions staffed by people from other communities but it is always about perception. The fact of the matter that percentages based on regions favour one section of Kenya.

This led to the birth of the notorious term, “Mount Kenya Mafia”, who were perceived to be in control of the affairs of the country. Kibaki then, and still projects a hands off approach that verges on lethargy. This very perception of apathy actively cultivated the notion that there were a few friends and associates of Kibaki that were actually running the country, and not him.

After26
Burnt watchman’s booth

This is the source of the infamous sentiment “It is not Kibaki. Kibaki is a good man. Its those around him that are the problem”.

A sentiment,I’m afraid, that does not wash because you can delegate duties but not responsibilities.

Bitter complaints rose from cabinet ministers protesting being denied access to the president.

The fourth problem was the sheer arrogance with which some Cabinet ministers conducted themselves. Top of the list were ministers like Christopher Murungaru, Kiraitu Murungi, John Michuki whose pronouncements on and off the camera raised the ire of the public, especially during the ill fated referendum campaigns.

After27
This house was broken into and completely looted

The fifth problem revolved around the corruption scandals that plagued the Kibaki administration, and what, it was perceived, was its subsequent cover up. Ministers who were forced out of office by the allegations somehow ended up back in their posts.

Chickens Come Home To Roost

These taken together sowed the seeds of perception last seen in the Kenyatta area … that of one community taking very good care of itself and its interests.

Like I’ve said before, perceptions are everything. And perceptions at the top, whether valid or not, eventually trickle down to the bottom. And unfortunately what trickled down to the bottom was the perception that some communities were more equal than others, and were benefiting at the expense of others.

After28
This house had both its cars burnt

And perceptions trigger action. If you are from Central Kenya, especially if you are Kikuyu, you must have over the past couple of years experienced increasing discomfort at the sentiments coming from other people. What used to be tongue in cheek jokes about the “Mount Kenya Mafia” degenerated into snide comments about “You Kikuyus” and today, as we are unfortunately seeing, violence.

Being in such a situation leads to discomfort and ultimately to fear.

The nabobs, drunk with power and opulence were blissfully unaware of the ugly perceptions they had created and propagated. One thing this government has consistently been is totally out of touch with the situation at the grassroots. Every time they have failed to read the mood of the people, as referendum and parliamentary results have demonstrated.

After29
This house’s tenants threw out mobiles and money to plead with the mob not to enter

I believe that the situation of what they had created sunk home in the last 2 months of the year. Even with the formidable state resources the crowds that they were able to draw were dwarfed by those of the ODM, that seems to be the party for the “rest of the people”.

The numerous polls conducted by various bodies, whose results were at first rubbished, consistently begun to paint the grim picture that finally got the attention of the players in power — they were nowhere near being as popular as they fondly believed they were.

The numbers from several polls by several companies consistently showed that the ODM would trounce them nationally as well as in all areas but Central and perhaps Eastern (that could have gone to Kalonzo).

It is then that the grim reality sank in that they were unlikely to win these elections, and real fear began to emerge. Suddenly two and two clicked together. Suddenly the rationale behind the snide comments, unflattering forwards and hostile receptions became clear. They had created a situation where they had completely polarized the country against them, and their communities were guilty by association.

Having created an ugly perception that they were the ones in power, how would the others react if they got that power? How would the monster they had created react?

Or could they have been afraid of the embarassment, the shame of being so unanimously rejected by the electorate? Were they scared silly of the thought of an incumbent president being ejected after a single term?

I believe that one, or both of the above were the basis of a decision that was taken towards the close of the year whose effects we are feeling today. What a few at the pinnacles of power have succeeded at creating is a situation where the poor man on the ground is guilty by association.

What Really Happened #2: Exodus will be posted as soon as I write it. PNU & ODM guys you can get my thoughts about exactly what happened these elections and why it happened.

AOB: If you can’t access my contact form email me your news/feelings/thoughts on roomthinker - at - yahoo - dot - com


Another Year

01

December

This morning as I was driving from a week-long conference I cast a jaundiced eye at the fare that was coming through Roberta’s speakers. Absolutely inane best describes some of the fare coming courtesy of our radio stations.

The first gentleman pleaded thus:

“Row the boat,
row the boat,
row the boat,
row the boat.

Signal the plane,
signal the plane,
signal the plane,
signal the plane …”

He was followed in quick succession by another one telling me

“Big sh*t poppin,
and little sh*t stoppin,
big sh*t poppin,
and little sh*t stoppin,
big sh*t poppin,
and little sh*t stoppin  …”

There was barely time for the radio to cool before there was another one

“Stuntin’ like my daddy,
stuntin’ like my daddy,
stuntin’ like my daddy,
stuntin’ like my daddy … “

Followed in quick succession by this gent

“Snap ya fingers! Do ya step!
You can do it all by yo self!
Let me see you do it! Ay!
Let me see you do it! Ay! … “

Wasting no time another son of his father stepped up

“I make it rain,
I make it rain on them …
I make it rain”

The lady who took to the stage next clearly objected to her predecessor making it rain

Now that it’s raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

As I chuckled to myself I remember thinking back some dozen or so (give or take) years ago when I was an unwilling and annoyed passenger in a Peugeot 504 en route to the grandparent’s, squirming at the torture of the “ancient and archaic” music my folks forced us to endure by playing the tapes in the car radio. Mbilia Bel and San Fan Tomas made  me want to weep. Billy Joel, Eugene Wilde, Lionel Richie and James Brown were relics of yesteryear with tired, mundane and boring music.

I remember after a particularly bitter and eloquent appeal for something more up to date my folks gave me the old one two.

Mater: You know, when you grow older is when you’ll realize the value of this music, the instrumentation and the lyrics. Some of those things you listen to today …
Pater: Why am I arguing with a boy who thinks that limping like he has a jigger in one foot is “cool”?

{Note: My father, somehow can put quotes into his speech}

Well my wonderful parents, you were right. I’m not exactly sure when I crossed that bridge between youth and ” when you’re older”, but cross it I have.

Especially today, where x years ago (and x is an increasingly large number), unto us a child was born.

Special thanks to those who stayed up till midnight, promptly fell asleep and woke up later in a panic to wish me a happy birthday :) This means YOU.

Thanks to those who have sent me best wishes. (Sam, Njeri, Joze and others I’m too tired to type :) )

Thanks to my lads and lasses at work who dragged me from a conference in the middle of nowhere to present me with large quantities of delicious cake. I was profoundly touched.

And most thanks to my folks. Reviewing what I’ve accomplished so far, especially in the last couple of years … you’ve done something right.

PIC OF THE DAY

  Superman

Batman … You’re my lad and all but dude — Robin?!! (Pic from http://www.superdickery.com)

Andrea Bocelli - Time To Say Goodbye


Projects

24

January

Some of the stuff I’m working on or am involved in:

Mzalendo.com

On March 2006 Ory And I launched our joint effort, Mzalendo.com, an initiative to keep tabs on our parliament and parliamentarians. You can read more about Mzalendo.com here

AfricaDotNet

Africa’s largest developer resource


A Night At The Movies

16

October

It has come to my attention that our favourite fossils, better known as Members Of Parliament are very partial to the silver screen. If I may hazard a series of guesses:

John Michuki really enjoys

Raila Odinga is very fond of

Martha Karua is quite partial to

Musikari Kombo can’t get enough of

Charity Ngilu is a passionate fan of

Uhuru Kenyatta finds himself watching

Joseph Munyao is a sucker for

George Saitoti goes giddy for

The First Lady finds this very refreshing

Moody Awori’s dress is without a doubt inspired by

 

 Norah Jones & Dolly Parton - Creep On In


Press Freedom: Letter to Kibaki

02

March

Dear President Kibaki:

On March 2, 2006 government forces raided the headquarters and printing plant of the Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment and newspapers, they shut down the KTN news station.

This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from Standard Newspaper, attacks on Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.

I urge you to condemn these attacks and to support freedom of the press and call for the immediate release of the journalists.

**Please copy and paste a copy of this letter on your blog. You may alter the wording to suit your needs.

From Keguro 


Archives

12

December

A litany of rambling …


May 2008  

April 2008  

March 2008  

February 2008  

January 2008  

December 2007  

November 2007  

October 2007  

September 2007  

August 2007  

July 2007  

June 2007  

May 2007  

April 2007  

March 2007  

February 2007  

January 2007  

December 2006  

November 2006  

October 2006  

September 2006  

August 2006  

July 2006  

June 2006  

May 2006  

April 2006  

March 2006  

February 2006  

January 2006  

December 2005  

November 2005  

October 2005  

September 2005  

August 2005  

July 2005  

June 2005  

May 2005  

April 2005  

March 2005  

February 2005  

January 2005  


Contact

05

September

(required)
(required)

 


Next Page »

About
Unique - just like everyone else. Manufactured and bottled in Kenya

M. Just M.
Contact Me

 Subscribe

  • putting the laughter in manslaughter! 10 hrs ago
  • Let b = a ;; 1 day ago
  • I will deliberately and with great accuracy headbutt the next person to invite me to join yet another half assed social network!!! 4 days ago
  • More updates...

Posting tweet...

Statistics
  • 61 registered users
  • 274 posts
  • 823 commenters
  • 6,144 comments
  • 242,008 blocked spam
Last 10 Comments
  • Carol: LOL, and that is M for you! Thats bright Eric,oh and real,thats what happens,no?
  • seinlife: The irony of capitalism... Someone is definitely either getting shot or sent away for a long time...
  • Erick: Mamashady, BBC says: Workers said they thought they were just making colourful flags and did not realise their...
  • njege: doofi. i had to check it up...nice one.
  • mamashady: they actually made some free tibet flags in china...so I heard!I think the owner of that particular...
  • salamander: Is there some fine print am missing on the caption. like "spot the joke then solicit for a drink?". If...
  • 31337: hello M, i showed up a mite too late! could i get a red bull anyhow?
  • udi: @M- Send me the Tusker. Baltimore, MD is a very nice place to actually ship a couple of cases to since we have...
  • Wathii FM: :)) nice one..now where are those cold tuskers?
  • rosi: I see the joke!! I see the joke!! Uhmm...M, free tusker??? :-D
Last 5 TrackBacks
Hall Of Famers
Top 50 Groupies
Google